Torchwood IMs: Ianto and Gwen's IMs III
Sep. 3rd, 2009 09:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_silver_storyTitle: Ianto and Gwen's IMs III
Chapter: 78
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a_silver_story
Genre Humour, smut
Rating: R
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
77 |
IM 78
GWEN has entered the conversation
GWEN: Hi love!
MR JONES: Hi Gwen.
MR JONES: Er ... you know how I said you could have the week off?
GWEN: Yes
MR JONES: ... could you come back?
GWEN: Why?
GWEN: I have flu-like symptoms!
GWEN: ... trouble in Paradise?
MR JONES: You could say that.
MR JONES: ... and your flu-like symptoms were totally fictional.
GWEN: What happened, sweetheart?
MR JONES: Do I have to go into detail?
GWEN: Is it embarrassing?
MR JONES: For Jack, I suppose.
GWEN: Then yes: you have to go into detail.
MR JONES: *sigh*
MR JONES: He told me he loves me.
GWEN: Really?
MR JONES: Yes, really. I don't know if it's true - I was starting to think maybe he couldn't fall in love.
MR JONES: But the look on his face when he said it ... I think he does.
MR JONES: I know he does.
MR JONES: ... but that's not why you have to come back.
GWEN: Why? What happened?
MR JONES: I ... didn't react well.
GWEN: ...?
MR JONES: Instead of making my own declaration of love ... I asked him if the world was ending.
GWEN: LMFAO!
GWEN: Oh ... boys!
GWEN: Never, ever say the right thing when you need to.
MR JONES: Shuddup. That's sexist :-P
GWEN: ... but entirely based on truth.
GWEN: Just think how hard it would have been for Jack to tell you how he felt!
GWEN: It's hard enough getting a normal bloke to talk about feelings - and you went and ruined it!
MR JONES: Yeah, yeah.
MR JONES: I'm an idiot.
MR JONES: I don't need telling again ...
GWEN: Who else has informed you of your idiocy?
MR JONES: It feels like even Janet is looking down on me in disgust.
MR JONES: Jack's not talking to me.
MR JONES: Rhiannon just laughed at me down the phone for five minutes.
MR JONES: ... and now you're taking notes to gossip with Rhys about.
GWEN: Well ... I could tell Susan at the dry cleaners.
MR JONES: Oh no ... don't!
GWEN: Ianto and Susan up a tree ...
MR JONES: She doesn't need any more encouragement.
GWEN: Neither does Detective Swanson ...
MR JONES: Careful. Jack probably has her name on a filter ...
GWEN: Is she still crushing on you, then?
MR JONES: I dunno. I don't care.
GWEN: Yes you do.
MR JONES: Every man has an ego, Gwen :-P
GWEN: Your ego is nothing compared to You-Know-Who's
MR JONES: Russell T. Davies?
GWEN: No. Jack.
GWEN: Who's Russell T. Davies?
MR JONES: A writer of some action adventure series. You'd probably like him, but me and Jack think he's fairly mediocre.
GWEN: What action adventure series does he write?
MR JONES: Frozentree.
GWEN: I thought that was a science fiction show?
MR JONES: So did we!
MR JONES: Apparently not, though.
GWEN: Oh. But it worked perfectly well with the formula they developed over the first couple of seasons. Why change it?
MR JONES: The
MR JONES: Male
MR JONES: Ego
GWEN: Ohhh. But at least the feisty female lead is still around.
MR JONES: I don't like Russellina that much.
GWEN: Why not? She's a good role model for modern feminism!
MR JONES: If standing on a mound of dead homosexuals with a baby under one arm, a husband hanging off the other and an AK-47 strapped to your back while wearing quite nice boots is your thing ... then yes. What a wonderful advertisement for the advancement of equal values in our society.
GWEN: I see your point. It is nice to have a strong female lead though - since Buffy, most female leads on television have been into shopping, shoes and men.
MR JONES: Yeah but ... people actually liked Buffy. Russellina hasn't got enough of the fan base on her side for the show to continue now that Jacob and Ieuan have been killed off/gone into space in search of the Nurse.
GWEN: Ieuan was cute, but really ... he quite blank.
MR JONES: Ieuan was blank??? One word for you my dear: Robotwoman!
GWEN: One episode at the beginning of the first series where he's shown to have a bit of background doesn't make for an interesting character!
MR JONES: IT DOES!
MR JONES: He was a very deep character - it's not my fault you couldn't pay attention long enough to read the subtext.
GWEN: I prefer Russellina. You don't have to bother with subtext with her - everything you need to know is pretty much spoon-fed. There's no mystery to have to concern yourself with.
MR JONES: *splutters*
MR JONES: Russellina was a rather mediocre policewoman [see bar fight in episode 1], who caused many, many deaths on her first day at Frozenwood. She then started an affair with Oliver (even though she knew Tash liked him), she told Ryan about the affair ... then drugged him to make him forget so that her own conscience would be clear! I dunno about you ... but I wouldn't add this person on Myspace.
GWEN: Everyone makes mistakes!
MR JONES: Okay ... an affair I can forgive. She's only human. But drugging him? That's a form of abuse!
MR JONES: And poor Jacob :'(
GWEN: You have a massive crush on Jacob. Don't deny it.
MR JONES: He's so much like Jack, it's scary.
GWEN: Mmmm. Anyway ... science fiction aside ...
MR JONES: *cough* action adventure *cough*
GWEN: Action adventure ... woteva. It's sci-fi.
GWEN: How are you going to make it up to Jack?
MR JONES: Dunno.
GWEN: *rolls eyes*
MR JONES: That's my trait. Hand it back!
GWEN: Sowwi *hands back eye roll*
MR JONES: Thank you. Anyways ... as you were saying ...
GWEN: You could take him out and get him rat arsed.
MR JONES: ... and control him ... how?
GWEN: Oh. Fair point.
MR JONES: Yah.
GWEN: Why don't you just walk up behind him, put your arms around his waist and whisper "I love you" in his ear.
MR JONES: Because that's spontaneously romantic, and I'm a man.
GWEN: Just cuddle him then!
MR JONES: ... men don't cuddle ...
GWEN: Yes you do. You cuddle Rhys all the time.
GWEN: And when you're drunk you tell me all kinds of things
GWEN: ... and don't even pretend you don't snuggle ...
MR JONES: I don't.
GWEN: Do
MR JONES: Don't.
GWEN: Do.
MR JONES: DON'T INFINITY! And if you say 'do' you smell of rotten eggs!
GWEN: Stop it. You asked for my help.
MR JONES: Sorry. I'm going a little stir crazy
MR JONES: ... and a plant sprayed me with something earlier.
GWEN: ... it wasn't the turquoise one, was it?
MR JONES: Oh God no!
MR JONES: I sincerely hope that never, ever manages to sneeze on either me or Jack.
GWEN: It is interesting though ... just who the aphrodisiac in its pollen makes you consider sleeping with ...
MR JONES: I seem to remember we had to sedate you to keep you off Tosh.
GWEN: Yeah.
GWEN: That was ... interesting.
GWEN: I had lots of ... lovely dreams.
MR JONES: About Tosh?
GWEN: Well ... not exclusively.
MR JONES: Tut tut!
MR JONES: ... who else was there? :-P
GWEN: And you call me nosey! Do I ask you about your aphrodisiac induced dreams?
MR JONES: You can if you want.
GWEN: Go on then: who's in your dreams?
MR JONES: ... Jack :-P
GWEN: Who else?
MR JONES: Ohhhh no! Not telling.
GWEN: Then I won't tell you what you were doing in my dream
MR JONES: ... I was in you dream?
GWEN: ... oops.
GWEN: Yes.
GWEN: But ... you weren't like .... y'know
MR JONES: Nekkid and doing stuff? :-P
GWEN: Well ... less nekkid than I was ... but ... doing stuff
MR JONES: Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah waoh
MR JONES: ... you had an aphrodisiac and sedative induced sex dream about me?
MR JONES: Does Rhys know?
GWEN: If I hadn't had an extra glass of wine, you wouldn't either!
MR JONES: Hahahaha.
MR JONES: .... was I good?
GWEN: Shut up.
GWEN: And you're acting all okay with it, but I know for a fact you'll be sat at your computer blushing like a virgin!
MR JONES: Shuddup. I'm not the one having obscene sex dreams about colleagues.
GWEN: Don't make me pour turquoise vine pollen on you!
MR JONES: ... you honestly believe that Jack would sedate me if I was so horny I would probably shag even you to get a release?
GWEN: Probably not ...
GWEN: And whaddya mean "even me"?
MR JONES: You're ... not my type?
GWEN: *hmph*
GWEN: See ya later, Ianto.
GWEN: And I'm sure you'll cope with Jack on your own.
MR JONES: Ahhh no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!
GWEN has left the conversation
MR JONES: *headdesk*
FIN
Couldn't resist the minor CoE bashing. It was just ... screaming at me ...
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 78
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper
Author:
a_silver_storyGenre Humour, smut
Rating: R
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
77 |
IM 78
GWEN has entered the conversation
GWEN: Hi love!
MR JONES: Hi Gwen.
MR JONES: Er ... you know how I said you could have the week off?
GWEN: Yes
MR JONES: ... could you come back?
GWEN: Why?
GWEN: I have flu-like symptoms!
GWEN: ... trouble in Paradise?
MR JONES: You could say that.
MR JONES: ... and your flu-like symptoms were totally fictional.
GWEN: What happened, sweetheart?
MR JONES: Do I have to go into detail?
GWEN: Is it embarrassing?
MR JONES: For Jack, I suppose.
GWEN: Then yes: you have to go into detail.
MR JONES: *sigh*
MR JONES: He told me he loves me.
GWEN: Really?
MR JONES: Yes, really. I don't know if it's true - I was starting to think maybe he couldn't fall in love.
MR JONES: But the look on his face when he said it ... I think he does.
MR JONES: I know he does.
MR JONES: ... but that's not why you have to come back.
GWEN: Why? What happened?
MR JONES: I ... didn't react well.
GWEN: ...?
MR JONES: Instead of making my own declaration of love ... I asked him if the world was ending.
GWEN: LMFAO!
GWEN: Oh ... boys!
GWEN: Never, ever say the right thing when you need to.
MR JONES: Shuddup. That's sexist :-P
GWEN: ... but entirely based on truth.
GWEN: Just think how hard it would have been for Jack to tell you how he felt!
GWEN: It's hard enough getting a normal bloke to talk about feelings - and you went and ruined it!
MR JONES: Yeah, yeah.
MR JONES: I'm an idiot.
MR JONES: I don't need telling again ...
GWEN: Who else has informed you of your idiocy?
MR JONES: It feels like even Janet is looking down on me in disgust.
MR JONES: Jack's not talking to me.
MR JONES: Rhiannon just laughed at me down the phone for five minutes.
MR JONES: ... and now you're taking notes to gossip with Rhys about.
GWEN: Well ... I could tell Susan at the dry cleaners.
MR JONES: Oh no ... don't!
GWEN: Ianto and Susan up a tree ...
MR JONES: She doesn't need any more encouragement.
GWEN: Neither does Detective Swanson ...
MR JONES: Careful. Jack probably has her name on a filter ...
GWEN: Is she still crushing on you, then?
MR JONES: I dunno. I don't care.
GWEN: Yes you do.
MR JONES: Every man has an ego, Gwen :-P
GWEN: Your ego is nothing compared to You-Know-Who's
MR JONES: Russell T. Davies?
GWEN: No. Jack.
GWEN: Who's Russell T. Davies?
MR JONES: A writer of some action adventure series. You'd probably like him, but me and Jack think he's fairly mediocre.
GWEN: What action adventure series does he write?
MR JONES: Frozentree.
GWEN: I thought that was a science fiction show?
MR JONES: So did we!
MR JONES: Apparently not, though.
GWEN: Oh. But it worked perfectly well with the formula they developed over the first couple of seasons. Why change it?
MR JONES: The
MR JONES: Male
MR JONES: Ego
GWEN: Ohhh. But at least the feisty female lead is still around.
MR JONES: I don't like Russellina that much.
GWEN: Why not? She's a good role model for modern feminism!
MR JONES: If standing on a mound of dead homosexuals with a baby under one arm, a husband hanging off the other and an AK-47 strapped to your back while wearing quite nice boots is your thing ... then yes. What a wonderful advertisement for the advancement of equal values in our society.
GWEN: I see your point. It is nice to have a strong female lead though - since Buffy, most female leads on television have been into shopping, shoes and men.
MR JONES: Yeah but ... people actually liked Buffy. Russellina hasn't got enough of the fan base on her side for the show to continue now that Jacob and Ieuan have been killed off/gone into space in search of the Nurse.
GWEN: Ieuan was cute, but really ... he quite blank.
MR JONES: Ieuan was blank??? One word for you my dear: Robotwoman!
GWEN: One episode at the beginning of the first series where he's shown to have a bit of background doesn't make for an interesting character!
MR JONES: IT DOES!
MR JONES: He was a very deep character - it's not my fault you couldn't pay attention long enough to read the subtext.
GWEN: I prefer Russellina. You don't have to bother with subtext with her - everything you need to know is pretty much spoon-fed. There's no mystery to have to concern yourself with.
MR JONES: *splutters*
MR JONES: Russellina was a rather mediocre policewoman [see bar fight in episode 1], who caused many, many deaths on her first day at Frozenwood. She then started an affair with Oliver (even though she knew Tash liked him), she told Ryan about the affair ... then drugged him to make him forget so that her own conscience would be clear! I dunno about you ... but I wouldn't add this person on Myspace.
GWEN: Everyone makes mistakes!
MR JONES: Okay ... an affair I can forgive. She's only human. But drugging him? That's a form of abuse!
MR JONES: And poor Jacob :'(
GWEN: You have a massive crush on Jacob. Don't deny it.
MR JONES: He's so much like Jack, it's scary.
GWEN: Mmmm. Anyway ... science fiction aside ...
MR JONES: *cough* action adventure *cough*
GWEN: Action adventure ... woteva. It's sci-fi.
GWEN: How are you going to make it up to Jack?
MR JONES: Dunno.
GWEN: *rolls eyes*
MR JONES: That's my trait. Hand it back!
GWEN: Sowwi *hands back eye roll*
MR JONES: Thank you. Anyways ... as you were saying ...
GWEN: You could take him out and get him rat arsed.
MR JONES: ... and control him ... how?
GWEN: Oh. Fair point.
MR JONES: Yah.
GWEN: Why don't you just walk up behind him, put your arms around his waist and whisper "I love you" in his ear.
MR JONES: Because that's spontaneously romantic, and I'm a man.
GWEN: Just cuddle him then!
MR JONES: ... men don't cuddle ...
GWEN: Yes you do. You cuddle Rhys all the time.
GWEN: And when you're drunk you tell me all kinds of things
GWEN: ... and don't even pretend you don't snuggle ...
MR JONES: I don't.
GWEN: Do
MR JONES: Don't.
GWEN: Do.
MR JONES: DON'T INFINITY! And if you say 'do' you smell of rotten eggs!
GWEN: Stop it. You asked for my help.
MR JONES: Sorry. I'm going a little stir crazy
MR JONES: ... and a plant sprayed me with something earlier.
GWEN: ... it wasn't the turquoise one, was it?
MR JONES: Oh God no!
MR JONES: I sincerely hope that never, ever manages to sneeze on either me or Jack.
GWEN: It is interesting though ... just who the aphrodisiac in its pollen makes you consider sleeping with ...
MR JONES: I seem to remember we had to sedate you to keep you off Tosh.
GWEN: Yeah.
GWEN: That was ... interesting.
GWEN: I had lots of ... lovely dreams.
MR JONES: About Tosh?
GWEN: Well ... not exclusively.
MR JONES: Tut tut!
MR JONES: ... who else was there? :-P
GWEN: And you call me nosey! Do I ask you about your aphrodisiac induced dreams?
MR JONES: You can if you want.
GWEN: Go on then: who's in your dreams?
MR JONES: ... Jack :-P
GWEN: Who else?
MR JONES: Ohhhh no! Not telling.
GWEN: Then I won't tell you what you were doing in my dream
MR JONES: ... I was in you dream?
GWEN: ... oops.
GWEN: Yes.
GWEN: But ... you weren't like .... y'know
MR JONES: Nekkid and doing stuff? :-P
GWEN: Well ... less nekkid than I was ... but ... doing stuff
MR JONES: Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah waoh
MR JONES: ... you had an aphrodisiac and sedative induced sex dream about me?
MR JONES: Does Rhys know?
GWEN: If I hadn't had an extra glass of wine, you wouldn't either!
MR JONES: Hahahaha.
MR JONES: .... was I good?
GWEN: Shut up.
GWEN: And you're acting all okay with it, but I know for a fact you'll be sat at your computer blushing like a virgin!
MR JONES: Shuddup. I'm not the one having obscene sex dreams about colleagues.
GWEN: Don't make me pour turquoise vine pollen on you!
MR JONES: ... you honestly believe that Jack would sedate me if I was so horny I would probably shag even you to get a release?
GWEN: Probably not ...
GWEN: And whaddya mean "even me"?
MR JONES: You're ... not my type?
GWEN: *hmph*
GWEN: See ya later, Ianto.
GWEN: And I'm sure you'll cope with Jack on your own.
MR JONES: Ahhh no! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!
GWEN has left the conversation
MR JONES: *headdesk*
FIN
Couldn't resist the minor CoE bashing. It was just ... screaming at me ...
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 08:59 pm (UTC)Because that's spontaneously romantic, and I'm a man.
*Boots Ianto in the arse*
These things aren't mutually exclusive, you dope! When Gwen's making more sense than you are, it's time to re-evaluate your stance on things.
...although Gwen is clearly VERY wrong about her views of Frozentree. Can't imagine why she'd connect more with a character like Russellina than Ieuan. ;)
no subject
Date: 2009-09-03 09:00 pm (UTC)I hope no one ever has to say that to me! Hehehehe.
And ICON LOVE <3