Torchwood IMs: Ianto and Jack's e-mails

[a_silver_story]

Title: Ianto and Jack's e-mails.
Chapter: 75
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour, smut
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: M.M implied
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: GAwwwwwd I can't think of one. I dunno ... they all die?


FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's


PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist





75 |



To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: Great, great misfortunes fall upon us in our hour of ... basically, I’m blowing you off, and not in the way you like.
Message:

Jack,

I know I promised to come down to your office after gossiping with Gwenniekins, but I’ve got a little sidetracked sorting out the ante-room in the Tourist Office. I am, however, willing to pause every now and then to confirm any details you may wish to plan on your own in the mean time [via email, as you have rather cruelly decided to disable IM. If it’s not back online soon, you’re on a sex ban].


Ianto

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: Your bollocking long e-mail subject.
Message:

Ianto,

You did this on purpose, but since you’re willing to sort of meet me ‘halfway’, I won’t make you suffer for it, just yet (I know, I know: promises, promises ...). And I seriously doubt you’d be able to uphold a sex ban, and the IM-free hub is only until you and Gwen actually start to get some work done! I know I’ve become addicted to the cute little bleepy-talky program, so cold turkey for all of us is the only thing that will work!

I was thinking that later we should go down to the den. Maybe try a little ... shibari? Maybe even make use of the d-rings in the ceiling?

Jack

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: It’s not my fault my vocabulary is too wide to substitute with short subject lines!
Message:

Dare I ask what shibari is? ... will it need a “Not Safe for Work” warning?

And I didn’t do this on purpose! – though you may punish me as you see fit. Once IM is back, of course ...


Ianto

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: Ianto likes 8====D
Message:

Shibari is Japanese bondage. When used more personally, it’s practically an art form once you take the time to tie all the decorative knots and weaves.

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: Jack likes 8=======D
Message:

I just Googled it. Seems ... exotic. Nothing overly different to what we’ve done before, it just seems to involve a distinct lack of floor.

I’m not overly sure that’s what I want just yet. Will it hurt, and will it leave marks?

Ianto

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: Can’t fault you on that observation!
Message:

Depends how much you squirm ;)

We can forget suspension today – just stick to the bed, yeah? Don’t do anything you don’t want. I know you don’t like pain, so I’ll be really gentle x

Jack
x

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: It’s my quiet observation that alerted me to the fact. No one else will ever guess the truth about you.
Message:

I’m wary of having my wrists tied where I can’t see them – especially after remembering the Beacons. I know I’ve had them cuffed behind my back a few times, but I can concentrate better when I can see them. Keep that in mind, please. Nothing over my mouth either (Note: over my mouth; put whatever you want in it ...), I don’t think. I know we don’t really do gags or anything, but just making sure you know prior to implicating whatever’s going through your filthy little brain at the moment.

I don’t want to be too uncomfortable – I will need to be able to walk tomorrow. The safeword’s still lighthouse, yeah?


Ianto

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: I’m an omnisexual manwhore. Why not just accept me for who I am?
Message:

I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt or leave marks, keep your wrists where you can see them and put nothing over your mouth. You’d very much like to do as gravity intended and remain on a solid surface/mattress, and the safeword’s lighthouse.

I’m guessing tying your balls up with a bootlace is out of the question? [joke ;)]

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: You’re not a manwhore. You’re mine all mine! – or I may have to shoot someone ...
Message:

So far out of the question, even omnioculars won’t be able to see it, my love.

Speaking of wonderful technology: could I borrow whatever it is you zapped your coat with that keeps it constantly perfect? I’d like to use it on my suits.

... if you don’t let me, I swear to God I’ll put all my clothing and dry-cleaning expenses on the Torchwood account.

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: Shush you! I have a reputation to uphold! :)
Message:

What are omnioculars?

I’m not sure where the thing is. I remember it was blue, and had a button on it. Came through the rift in about 1939 and zapped myself with it by accident. It might be in Harmless Misc, or it could be in Household Appliances and Furnishings. You’ll have to find it yourself, I think. Sorry Chino x

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: Uphold it near Swanson. Oh no, wait! *facepalm* she’s immune ...
Message:

I’ll start with “blue things with buttons” in the 1939 reports. I’m sure it will be a fruitful search *rolls eyes*

What’s Chino?

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: That’s because she’s a lesbian dominatrix
Message:

You’re Chino! Cappuccino.

Nickname/pet name/ term of endearment for just us two – remember?

It’s yours, and you’re going to like it.

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: That information does fantastic things to my mind ...
Message:

*grumbles*

Was I by any chance:

a) drunk

or

b) on top of a half-naked you


when I agreed to that?

And why ‘Cappuccino’? I don’t drink cappuccino!

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: Can I do some things with your mind for a bit? I know you like chocolate flavoured Jack ...
Message:

Because on the surface you’re all light and frothy, but underneath there’s so much unexpected depth and richness that only I get to see.

I thought about it! See!

... and don’t tell me off for being a soppy bastard. You know you love it really.

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: I prefer chocolate flavoured milk, but woteva
Message:

Mmmkay. Just don’t expect me to answer to it.

I’ve done a brief search for “blue thing with button” in the 1939 reports, but can’t find anything just yet. Can you think of anything more specific? Who brought it in, where it was found etc.

To: Ianto Jones
From: Jack Harkness
Subject: RE: You want me so badly. You know you do.
Message:

Forget about it. You get back to sorting your little ante-chamber or whatever you call it, and I’ll have a look for it.

xx Jack xx

To: Jack Harkness
From: Ianto Jones
Subject: RE: I want you to give me a moment’s peace ... so, so badly ...
Message:

DON’T YOU DARE GO NEAR MY ARCHIVES!!!

FIN











Couldn't decide on angst, fluff or smut. So went with a smidge of all three. Thank the indecisiveness of naddypants, who both stalled and accelerated this chapter. [;)]









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Comments

[naddypants.livejournal.com]

What can I say? You gave me the options...and then...yeah. My heart was torn! :P

Nonetheless, I enjoyed that quite a bit.
Chocolate milk..mmm....with Jack..
Awwh bless he's still pissy about his IMs being taken away.
JACK-Y! Bring 'em back please? :D

[candi-apple-red.livejournal.com]

Yes - a new post! I'm so happy.

We *will* get to peek at the later goings on, right? *bats big brown eyes*

[zsazsa4168.livejournal.com]

Especially loving the way the subject line doesn't necessarily relate to the content. It's like they've both caught ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm sure you Brits call it something else.)
In your hands, these two are just so witty and wonderful together. Thanks, again.

[delennbr.livejournal.com]

I loved the subjetcs!
And I'm with Ianto, the im's need to be back.
Ahh, and I forgot to say, I loved the banner!!!!

[fancieflights.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you couldn't decide, because this came out fantastically :) Jack needs to get those IMs back up ASAP though! Who knows what Ianto will really do to him if he doesn't...

Oh, and the subject lines! Brilliant!

[zsazsa4168.livejournal.com]

I think we need to know - in as much detail as possible - exactly what Ianto will do if Jack doesn't bring the IMs back.

Then the IMs need to come back! *smiles angelically* (or was that "devilishly"?

[stargazer60.livejournal.com]

Love those random subject lines...

[paraxenos.livejournal.com]

Lol, I love how the subject lines have their own conversation going on xD

Really random, but really great update anyway!

[unrequited1984.livejournal.com]

i love that there were two messages going on at the same time! and yay! sex den!!!!!!!

[rosy5000.livejournal.com]

*GASP* Jack took the IMs away!?!? How dare he! But yeah... Ianto threatening with a sex ban is kinda an empty threat. lol

If Ianto ever finds that device... do you think he'd share it? lol

Uphold it near Swanson. Oh no, wait! *facepalm* she’s immune ...

LOL OH Ianto! He loves bringing Jack's ego back to Earth, doesn't he?

[(Anonymous)]

Heh. I just assumed you didn't allow anonymous reviews for some reason. Hmmmm.

Anyways, been following your fics for a very long time, and they're really, truly wonderful. I absolutely love your writing.

Also, lesbian!dominatrix!Swanson would actually be really awesome. I would so tap that.

[griza.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

That's the way you get Ianto away from the Tourist Office! Ooooh Jack, you are going to be in trouble if you go near Ianto's archives!

[ceindreadh.livejournal.com]

Heh, loved this!

[amcpep.livejournal.com]

No IM's is just cruel! Bad Jack. But those emails were great, and the subject conversation was as funny as the actual conversation! Didn't Jack notice the irony of blocking IM's and then spending several minutes of Torchwood time on emailing back and forth to Ianto. I bet Ianto did. :)

[electrictoes.livejournal.com]

Hehe, brilliant! Love the subject lines.

[goddess-ophelia.livejournal.com]

I love the conversation in the subject bar ... original!
Love these :)

[alchemistpotion.livejournal.com]

The subject lines!
Ohm the brilliant subject lines!

very good, I like!

[hab318princess.livejournal.com]

wonderful... funny and sweet and just great

[magicmalcolm.livejournal.com]

Whee, it's like two little ficlets in one bondage wrapped package!

...I so didn't google Shibari. Honest. o:)

Uphold it near Swanson. Oh no, wait! *facepalm* she’s immune ...

Ianto Jones...bitch extraordinaire. Didn't even answer Jack's question about the omnioculars (Ianto's a Harry Potter fan? Who knew!).

Nickname/pet name/ term of endearment for just us two – remember?

It’s yours, and you’re going to like it.

...and Jack's not much better! Brilliant!

[agent-girlsname.livejournal.com]

Aww i love the 'Chino' nickname (even if Ianto is pretending he doesnt!)

And i really hope we get a look in of that japanese bondage later!!

[bandgeek01.livejournal.com]

fantastic :)



Nicole

[me-eat-drums.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed that - especially the subject line conversations, and of course that very last e-mail! Lol! :D

[shannon730.livejournal.com]

So I suck and haven't said this before but I love this story. :)

[a-silver-story.livejournal.com]

aww thanks!

And I love you're icon! 'tis deffo fabulous!!

[shannon730.livejournal.com]

It's from Animals at Work and that scene had to be made into an icon. It's shareable if you want it...it was made by rua1412.

[a-silver-story.livejournal.com]

OMG Animals at Work!


For a laugh, me and my sister sent a complaint to the BBC about JB wearing far too many clothes - and they replied like they took it seriously!!! hahahahahha! *wipes tear* gawwwwwd I'm funny ... LOL

[shannon730.livejournal.com]

well he does indeed where far too many clothes. that should definitely be fixed. Of course I'm in the states so it's just be edited out anyway...

[a-silver-story.livejournal.com]

hahah! *pokes crappy american censorship*



... just as long as you got Janto in the hothouse, everything is right with the world ...

[diggybear.livejournal.com]

Couldn't decide on angst, fluff or smut. So went with a smidge of all three.

A very good mix! I loved how the subjects were conversations as well.

[i-own-ianto.livejournal.com]

I was reading this again...
And then I had to know so I searched the Internet...
And I found this piccy
it if Harry and snape buy we just see snapea coat...so it reminded me of ianto and Jack XD

http://www.google.com.au/m/search?site=images&source=mog&hl=en&gl=au&client=safari&q=Shibari#i=11

take a look - I dare you.

[a-silver-story.livejournal.com]

hahaha!

I don't need to be 'dared' to look at shibari - you underestimate me! ;)

[i-own-ianto.livejournal.com]

I just re-read "what Tosh saw"
I will never underestimate you again!
So... What do you think?