Another Life by a_silver_story | Part 04
Dec. 3rd, 2009 02:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_silver_storyTitle: Another Life
Chapter: 04 | ??
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a_silver_story
Genre Alternate Universe, Romance
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe.
Warnings: A bit of angst, and some tentacles and d/c in the future.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto finds himself heartbroken and alone, but eventually learns that no matter what point in Captain Jack Harkness' life he finds himself, they will always fall in love.
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
First Part
Another Life
Jack spent most of the day helping to clear the rubble that had once been the band stand, and said very little to Ianto when they did see each other. Ianto understood and gave him his space, only venturing near him to give him coffee. Jack had given him a tired smile of appreciation and a quick hug before sipping from his mug, setting it down and continuing with his work.
After five ‘o’ clock, Ianto's time was his own, so he decided to drop in on Rhys. He looked tired and dishevelled, clearly not having had time to mourn the friend he had lived with, helped raise a child with and, most probably, had gotten very close to. The flat he was living in was cosy and homey, very child friendly and very ... lived in. It was spacious, with a separate kitchen and dining room, three bedrooms – two en suite – a bath and shower room and also a playroom for the little boy.
They sat at the dining room table with cups of tea – the child, Giacomo, was in lessons – and a sort of awkward silence fell. They hadn’t really known each other back home, and Ianto supposed they were only reaching out to each other now because they were from the same place. He took a deep breath trying to think of something to say.
“Erm ...” He shuffled uncomfortably. “... I heard about ... about your ... erm ....”
“She was a friend.” sighed Rhys. “But ... I was expecting it. She never really was happy here.”
“What was her name?”
“Helena.”
Ianto nodded, and stared into his tea.
“So ...” Rhys changed the subject. “You and the Captain getting on at all? I heard he gave you a job pretty quick.”
“Yeah ... in the Records Office.” Ianto smiled weakly. “The place is a bomb site. Gonna take forever to get in order ...”
“Yeah.” agreed Rhys.
Another awkward silence fell as they sipped their tea and cast around for conversation starters.
“So ... um ...” Ianto decided to try speaking. “... how’s ... your boy? Giacomo?”
“Oh!” Rhys beamed. “He’s lovely – he really is. I think I’ve got it right with him, y’know?”
“Good ... good ...” Ianto looked back to his half empty and getting-cold mug. “Erm ... Jack was saying that ... well, we’re from the same century, same time period, even ... he was saying about putting me in here with you.”
Rhys nodded. "Not happy in the barracks?"
"Not really, no." admitted Ianto.
“I’ve been hearing the rumours they’ve been spreading about you.”
Ianto's head snapped up. “Rumours?”
“Yeah. Apparently you’ll shag anything that moves, don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself and hurt other people for your own amusement.” he told him, expression grim.
“You don’t believe that, do you?”
“Of course I bloody don’t! And I set that boy with the stupid name right with harsh words to Kaan.”
“That was his dad, right?”
“Yeah, but Boy With Stupid Name was always ... a loose cannon.”
“He can say what he wants about me. It doesn’t make any difference as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like I work with anyone, and the only other person I talk to is Jack, and he ... he knows what I’m like.”
“Yeah? You and he are ... y’know ... ‘getting on’?”
Ianto smiled and nodded. “Yeah we’re ... we’re getting on fine.”
“You’re ... y’know ... interested in each other again?”
Ianto gave a small laugh. “Definitely.”
“Have you ... y’know ...?” smirked Rhys.
“Four times.” Ianto said casually, and not actually expecting a specific answer Rhys snorted into his tea. Ianto sniggered.
“Didn’t waste your time did you? When did this start?” he laughed, wiping his face with a tissue.
“Yesterday.”
Rhys stared at him. “Four times in one day? Where do you find the stamina?” he asked, almost gaping.
“Coffee.” he shrugged. “I’ve also found there’s been a distinct lack of adrenalin rushes since coming here, so I think I’ve got some weird restlessness from that, too.”
Rhys nodded, still a little bit surprised. "No idea where you'd get that energy ...."
Ianto laughed to himself again, sipping from his mug. "He's ... different." he admitted. "A lot more ... I don't know ... he's more ... finished. Like ... I dunno. Like he's figured out exactly what's right for him now. He doesn't need to experiment anymore. He knows what he wants."
"Right ..." Rhys shuffled uncomfortably.
"Oh! I didn't mean sexually!" laughed Ianto, and Rhys looked visibly relieved. "I mean ... oh even I don't know what I mean. He's different, and he's ... I wouldn't say he's better. I could never say that. It's like ... he's the guy I wished he was back then, but could never have. And now I've got him, all I want is my Jack back."
Rhys nodded. "I understand."
"I wouldn't change him for the world, though. That I already know for certain. And if I end up in another part of space and time, and have to start over again, then this is the Jack I'll be craving."
"You've only known him a month, in reality." Rhys said carefully. "You can't be certain that ... y'know ... you'd last out here, in like ... a society, outside of the isolation of the hub and away from all those ... mortal dangers ...."
Ianto regarded him a moment. "I never ... I never thought of it like that before ...."
"Context is important, no matter what your relationship is. Context could make or break it." Rhys advised.
Ianto nodded. "We'll have to see."
"There isn't really a question of it working, is there? We all see the way he looks at you at lunch. And everyone knows he hasn't slept with anyone since you got here." Rhys winked. "The ladies and gentlemen are heartbroken."
Ianto smirked to himself.
"Smug bastard." smiled Rhys, then his expression turned serious. "But ... if you wanna move in here ... that's fine by me. As long as we split household chores, I don't mind cooking. You have to do your fair share of work with Jack, too, so ... you can't spend every second of spare time with the Captain."
"Jack ... Oh! Giacomo. Got you."
"Yeah, most people call Giacomo 'Jack' and the Captain ... well, Captain. If you say 'Jack' I'll probably assume you're talking about Giacomo."
"Oh ... right ... I'll keep that in mind ... but ... erm ... I have no idea how to look after a child ..."
"You'll pick it up. And he's an angel - he really is. Obviously, he's not perfect, but he's damn near."
"I suppose we could try it. But ... I'm warning you: I'm useless with children. Really, I am. When it came to my niece and nephew, I paid them to be good. That is not great parenting."
Rhys laughed and shook his head. "Nope." he agreed. "Don't worry, I'll help you out. He'll love you, I bet. When are you moving in?"
Ianto shrugged. "Dunno. Whenever Jack - the Captain - gives it the go ahead? What cue should I take? Who do I go to?"
"Clear it with the Captain, and he can move what ever pawn he needs to." smiled Rhys. "It's good to have a familiar face around." he sighed sadly. "I was starting to wonder if ... I was starting to wonder if I'd imagined or dreamt the old life ...."
Ianto nodded, and finished the dregs of his cold tea. "So ... what have you studied here?" he asked.
"I used to do a twilight course in modern literature, but it was all shit. Everything's already been done by this point so ... it's all the same."
"Do they still know who Shakespeare is?" asked Ianto.
"Oh yeah!" nodded Rhys.
"What's music like now?"
"Just a load of electronic noises that make no sense or melody whatsoever."
"... is The Lord of the Rings trilogy still available in extended edition box sets?"
"Had 'em in my rucksack when the Rift took me." beamed Rhys. "After shopping, I was going for a lads' night in, and we were gonna have a marathon and a drinking game. I've got the original Star Wars trilogy too - and Shaun of the Dead."
"No. Way!" beamed Ianto. "Is there anything to play them on?"
"Helena knocked together a primitive DVD player-esque thing and they play okay. Watching them alone isn't that fun, though ... and Jack's too young for most of the films ...."
"When I move in, we'll have to have a marathon - yes, that's right: I'm the James Bond of the Torchwood outfit and also a nerd: go figure."
"James Bond is lost on an ocean of time." Rhys declared sadly. "Forgotten over the ages ... but dammit those films were good! What I wouldn't give for ten minutes of Goldfinger."
Ianto smiled. "Yeah ... I'm gonna miss Bond."
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone if you cry," Rhys assured him, face serious. "But they don't make action figures anymore."
Ianto blinked. "What?"
"They don't do action figures."
"Why?"
"Because they're bastards."
Ianto opened and closed his mouth a few times. He sniffed. "They're just dolls, Rhys." he said bravely.
"Yeah ... y'know ... Gwen made me get rid of mine."
"Jack re-enacted the Karma Sutra with mine."
Rhys sniggered. "He didn't take them out of the boxes did he?"
"I think it's best if I don't dwell on that particular incident for too long." Ianto scowled.
"Sorry." Rhys told him, sincere.
"It's okay. It technically happened six billion years ago. No point being upset."
"Nope."
"None at all."
"Not a smidge."
Ianto nodded, then took a deep breath. "I couldn't believe it though! I told him not to touch them! He was supposedly 'down with flu', I come home at lunch to check on him and Storm is re-enacting The Butterfly with He-Man."
Rhys snorted, laughing. "I don't even know what that is!"
"Oh it's when-"
"AND I DON'T WANNA ... ahem ... I mean: too much info ...."
"Haha! Sorry!" grinned Ianto, and laughed. "So ... has there been anyone since ... y'know ... Gwen?"
Rhys sighed. "I've only been here a year. I'm still not ... I'm still not over it."
"No. I don't think we ever will be. Any of us." replied Ianto quietly.
"Jack gives me something to concentrate on, though. Seeing him makes it easier, and watching him grow up will be worth all this shit in the end."
Ianto nodded. "Back home ... did you and Gwen ever ... ?"
"Yeah, we had two by the time I ... 'went'. A little boy called Bobby, and a little girl called Natasha. Captain Harkness was Godfather to both, and he was a big help when ... when Gwen ..."
"Oh." Ianto breathed, understanding.
"I wondered what happened to them after I'd gone. My mam and dad and both Gwen's parents were dead by then - we lost them all in a year - so I suppose responsibility would have fallen to the Godparents."
"You think Jack would have taken care of them?"
"I hope so, but he probably didn't." sighed Rhys. "He'd have made sure they were looked after, then left them to grow up. Maybe drop in occasionally."
Ianto nodded. He knew it would be true. "No way of knowing for certain now." he said quietly.
"No." agreed Rhys. "Though ... I wish ... just ten more minutes with them. Five. Anything, no matter how small ... I'd give anything. Anything."
Ianto tried to smile comfortingly, not knowing what to say.
"You finished that?" Rhys asked, standing up and taking Ianto's mug. Ianto stayed seated, letting him go to the kitchen to wash up and compose himself. He returned with a couple of chocolate bars, and grinned widely, handing Ianto one. "Chocolate was an industry the scientists heavily invested in," he explained, peeling open his own bar. "so it's become the most delicious, intoxicating and addictive treat in the known Universe."
Ianto nibbled a little at the top of his, and was fairly certain the blissfully delicious taste in his mouth could give him a hard on if it wanted to. It was creamy and sweet, yet there was a bitter edge and maybe a trace of something a little hazelnut-y. "Mmmm ..." he sighed. "... and there was me thinking I'd miss Dairy Milk ...."
Rhys laughed, then jumped when his watch started beeping. "Right," he declared. "I need to go and pick up Jack from his rugby."
"Rugby? He's five!"
"So's everyone else playing, so it's even." Rhys told him authoritatively.
Ianto shrugged. "Whatever you think is best."
Getting up to leave, he followed Rhys to the front door. Rhys shut it behind them, and they walked a little down the corridor.
"Ooh!" Rhys exclaimed suddenly. "You couldn't talk to the Captain about maybe getting us moved, could you? Maybe ... number double-oh-seven on the top floor? Much nicer than this dump." He indicated the corridor on which he lived. "The only thing holding it together is duct tape, and now that flat is empty - and the Captain isn't exactly adverse to favouritism - may as well move the favourite in, right?"
Ianto blushed a little. "I'll talk to him."
Grinning, Rhys bade him goodbye at the bottom of the stairs and they went their separate ways, and Ianto couldn't help but smile to himself as he made his way up to the top of the building. He groaned as he reached the spiral stairs that lead up to where the Records Office and the Captain's office were, secretly wishing there was some form of lift.
He whistled to himself, opening the door to Jack's office with the intention of making some more coffee to take down to Jack in a thermos and finding the man himself slumped back in his chair behind his desk, eyes closed. "Sorry!" Ianto exclaimed. "I assumed you were still downstairs ... are you okay?" he frowned, stepping through the door a little way.
"Tired." was all Jack said. His hair and clothes were greying with dust, and some of it had found its way into the creases of his skin, making him look old and weary.
"I was about to make some coffee?" Ianto offered, and the Captain nodded, his eyes still closed. "Would you like it a little sweeter? Maybe with a bit of cream?"
Jack's eyes opened, and he frowned warily. "How did you know?"
"You turn girly when you're upset." Ianto told him, matter-of-factly, and made his way to the kitchen, leaving the door open so that he could hear Jack while he made the coffee.
"What makes you so certain I haven't changed?" Jack asked.
"You have changed. Completely and utterly, but you're still you. The main parts that make you up are still in there."
"And how I take my coffee is a 'main part'?" questioned Jack, standing to linger in the doorway, arms folded, watching.
Ianto smirked to himself. "To me it is."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Coffee was always the way to your heart." he smiled, offering a steaming mug to Jack. Jack took it, avoiding Ianto's eyes and staring into the rich depths of the slightly creamy, slightly sweet coffee. "You look guilty." Ianto frowned. Jack's head snapped up.
"What have I got to be guilty for?" he asked, practically snapping the question.
Ianto blinked. "I ... I don't know, do I? I thought you might be ... y'know ... harbouring a bit of self-loathing after what happened ... with the - the - the bandstand!"
"How did you know?" Jack asked, incredulous.
He felt a stab of annoyance, and didn't mean to snap, but he did. "Because I know you! Maybe not ... completely - most definitely not as completely as before. But ... you can wear a thousand different faces, but those who know you will recongnise you in an instant because you can't change the essence of who you are. You're a con man, Jack. You know this!"
"You can change." muttered Jack darkly.
"Well you haven't." Ianto retorted, turning back to the coffee machine to make himself some. He took a deep breath, and set his mug down. "I'm sorry for snapping. I didn't mean to."
"You're still messed up from everything. I understand."
Ianto hung his head, then turned. "I'm sorry." he repeated.
The Captain set down his mug carefully and pulled him into his arms, stroking dirty fingers through his hair.
"Oh! Oh no!" Ianto groaned, pushing him away and batting the dust from his clothes. "Ohhh I'm all dirty now!"
"It suits you." smirked Jack. "Maybe you could come and help with clearing rubble tomorrow."
"Manual labour doesn't suit me as much as being dirty." Ianto deadpanned, suddenly very aware of the fact Jack had him practically pinned between the Captain and the kitchen work surface. He trailed his fingers up Jack's arms before interlocking them behind his neck and pulling their foreheads together.
Jack sighed and rubbed their noses together, and Ianto parted his lips slightly as Jack's mouth moved towards his, anticipating the kiss that was to come. The Captain didn't disappoint, ghosting and teasing over Ianto's lips, pulling back slightly and making Ianto follow him, laughing a little before claiming Ianto's mouth and probing his tongue forward to explore.
He could feel Jack's hands roaming over his body, squeezing and stroking his sides, trying to find his little hotspots. He was in totally the wrong place at the moment, but he'd learn, decided Ianto. He scratched his fingernails over Jack's nape and felt him shudder in delight, his tongue delving deeper and nearly cutting off Ianto's air supply, lifting him onto the surface behind so that he could wrap legs around him.
The Captain pulled back suddenly, and stared at him. Ianto frowned, giving him a questioning look.
"I ... I have to go ..." Jack muttered, hurriedly grabbing his mug and practically running down the spiral stairs to his quarters.
Ianto stared after him, unsure what to do or say, sat frozen on the work surface. He shut his mouth with a snap and hopped down, wondering what he'd done wrong. He hesitated in going after Jack, then decided to leave him. He picked up his mug, tried to shake the dust from his hair and clothes, and made his way back to his halls, cursing himself for not mentioning his move with Rhys, or possibly having them move flat.
He took a deep breath and opened the door to his room, and the usual hush that proceeded him to his bunk followed. It lasted a little longer than usual, and he internally frowned. The back of his neck prickled, and he realised that they were all watching him. He glanced over at Vegas and Jessica cuddled up on Rina's bed across the room, with Rina herself sat cross-legged at the foot of it. They've done something, he realised, and bit back his annoyance.
It didn't take him long to realise what. He pulled back his covers, and found a variety of insects and arachnids all crawling around under the duvet. Vegas, Jessica and Rina started guffawing, then seemed to quiet when they realised he didn't seem that bothered.
Rolling his eyes, unfazed, he picked up one of the larger, hairier spiders and walked calmly over to the three on the bed, holding it out. "Want to stroke it?" he offered, as if he was holding a cute, cuddly ferret rather than a rather creepy-looking spider. "He won't bite, really. He just looks threatening."
Rina was already scrabbling away, and Jessica was clinging to Vegas' arm. Vegas himself regarded Ianto cooly - clearly, it was he who had put the insects and arachnids there, showing no bother with them. Test one: complete.
Ianto gently put the spider on the bed beside Jessica, and she gave in and shrieked, scrambling away and standing beside Rina, the girls holding each other. Vegas allowed the little creature to crawl into his palm and held it up. "Odd place to keep spiders," he commented. "I wouldn't want such sly, two-faced creatures as my bedfellows."
"Only certain species actually turn on each other, and usually only the females." Ianto informed him, picking up what looked like a millipede but had several different coloured shells on its many sections. He watched it wandering and snaking around his fingers, fascinated by the leg movements and the glistening armour that surrounded it.
Till chose that moment to wander in, and froze at the tableaux. She drank in Ianto's bed, covered in creeping, crawling beings, and Vegas sat on the bed with his spider, and Ianto with his insect. She rolled her eyes. "Y'know, Vegas, one day you'll grow the fuck up and pull a guy like ... oh, I don't know? The Captain."
"Ha!" Ianto smirked at Vegas, who had sat bolt upright, drawing in breath to retaliate.
"Save it!" snapped Till, then turned to Ianto. She seemed as distracted as him by the armoured plates of the millipede, then shook herself out of it. "Saw the Captain on my way up here. He sends a message. Wants you in his office and you're to take Vegas."
"What for?" scowled Vegas.
"Er ... I dunno. Maybe he wants to cuddle on the couch and watch re-runs of "Q'ida and Ryan' while eating truffles and talking about hair?"
"Piss off, Till." Vegas muttered darkly.
"I repeat: grow the fuck up."
Ianto put the millipede back on his bed, and turned around to retrieve the spider, only to see Vegas put in on the floor and stamp on it hard. He rubbed his shoe on the floor to scrape the remains from it, then turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Ianto's eyes slid down the gooey mess that had been the spider, then glanced at his bed, alive with movement. With a sigh, he decided he was above hiding insects in other peoples' beds, and hid them back under the darkness of the duvet, knowing they'd be happier there.
He quietly left the barracks, Freddie still with his head in his laptop, Rina and Jessica still muttering to themselves and Jodie and Till sat reading. Till gave him a nod as he left, which returned with a weak smile, and he shut the door behind him. He had almost expected that Vegas would be waiting for him, and it took little less than a quick turn to get the body that had suddenly jumped out at him off his back and onto the floor.
"What is it with you?" Ianto hissed. "You're such a child! I can't believe they let you leave the unit!" he snapped, and began to stalk in the direction of the spiral stairs that lead to Jack's office. Vegas picked himself up and stomped up behind him, keeping his distance as they made their way to their destination, refusing to speak.
Ianto knocked on the heavy door to the Captain's office, and entered as instructed. He was a little surprised to see that not only was Jack clean and smiling, but Rhys was there with him, too.
"Ah! Ianto, Vegas! Have a seat ..." Jack indicated the chairs that had been set out for them, and Ianto chose the one nearest to where Rhys was standing. "So, tell me: what's going on? Because I really, really want to know." he ordered, though his voice was bright. "Vegas? Will you go first?"
Vegas glared at him, then took a deep breath. "He came in and he just ruined everything." he muttered.
Jack raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"He ... you ... he just did! It's the way he is!"
Jack's other eyebrow joined the raised one. "I see. Could you possibly tell me what it is about 'the way he is' that has offended you?"
"You and me had something, and he came along and ... and he just ..."
The Captain frowned thoughtfully. "Vegas ... we had sex twice. That's hardly something - and it was over Professor Milling's desk."
"Yeah but ... you ... you said ... you said you liked me. You said you would take me out."
"Listen, kid, if you were naked when I said that, I probably didn't mean it."
"Jack!" Ianto admonished.
The Captain's eyes flicked to him, and then back to Vegas. "What?" he asked.
"You're ... you're not being, fair is all ..." Ianto muttered.
"How so?" frowned Jack.
"Just ... just be a bit more tactful ... you're hurting him."
The Captain thought for a second. "Erm ... sorry?" he tried. "My interest in you was physical?"
Rhys and Ianto both rolled their eyes, and Vegas stared at his hands. "That's not how it felt." he murmured quietly. "Not how you made me feel."
"That's the point of sex: to feel special."
"It's not!" Vegas' head snapped up, and he glared at the Captain. "That's not the point at all!"
Ianto leaned back in his chair, finger resting on his bottom lip as he watched Vegas carefully, his elbow resting on the arm.
Jack was trying to stare him down, but Vegas was defiant. Neither of them spoke until Jack finally broke the gaze, and it was Vegas who broke the tense silence. "The point is ... yes, feeling good is part of it. But ... making someone else feel good ... seeing how they feel about you, that's the point. The point is appreciation, as well as your own satisfaction."
"How naive." commented Jack. "Look," he continued quickly, given the sharp look Ianto shot his way. "you were a shag, and I'm sorry - everyone seems to have realised except you, and I suppose that's partly my fault - but since when have I ever been with someone more than a few times?"
Vegas returned to staring at his hands, saying nothing.
"Besides, I prefer adults who act like adults, not adults who do nothing but act like spoilt little children."
His head snapped back up again, and he pointed at Ianto. "But! But he - "
"I don't care." Jack cut him off. "Whatever you think he did: it was me. Now you better go and apologise to everyone, tell them you were spreading vicious rumours and set the record straight: Ianto is a lovely young man, he'll do anything for anyone, and unlike you he is polite, well-mannered and one helluva demon in bed. Got that?"
Ianto felt sure he was blushing, if not still caught up in confusion. Was he just a shag? He'd certainly felt special ... he'd certainly been made to feel special ...
What if, now that he had 'put out', Jack would have someone else in his bed this time next week?
Deep in thought, he totally missed Vegas being dismissed, and only came back to reality when Rhys sat down in the chair next to him.
"Next item ..." continued Jack, and Ianto watched him carefully. "You're moving in with Rhys?"
Ianto nodded silently.
"Good - well, I've reviewed the living arrangements and I think it would be better for you all if you moved up to the top of the accommodation block - flat seven?"
Rhys nodded vigorously, and Ianto murmured his assent.
"Good - you can move in in the morning, Ianto. Rhys; pack your things and you can move in when it suits you. Make sure little Giacomo knows the way to and from his schoolroom to the flat, don't forget!"
"I won't, Captain!" beamed Rhys, and he started getting up. "I'll ... I'll go start now! Thanks, mate." he added, in Ianto's direction. Ianto wondered what he meant, then remembered he was supposed to talk to Jack about getting them moved up to that flat.
Alone with Jack, he sighed heavily, but it was Jack that spoke first.
"I'm sorry about before." he said quickly.
Ianto regarded him carefully, leaning forward a little and quirking an eyebrow.
"You freak me out." Jack admitted.
"How so?" frowned Ianto.
"We're on totally different levels with each other," Jack explained. "so ... I feel ... I dunno. It's like having amnesia. I'm looking at a total stranger, but you know me. We're on totally different levels, and ... and I wish ... I wish I could catch up to you ... know your body like you know mine. And it's frustrating!"
"Is this ... is this because I scratched the back of your neck?"
"Yes! Exactly! I love that. I didn't know I loved it until you showed me, and I realised you did it because you already knew, and it just freaked me out because ... because I don't know you!"
"Don't worry. This time next week you'll have a new shag, and I'll be nicely tucked away with Rhys and the kid."
Jack looked a little hurt. "I thought you wanted Vegas off your back?"
"You didn't have to hurt his feelings!"
"What was I supposed to say? He was only there to pass the time? I played him to get what I wanted? He's pretty, so he sufficed for the time being? He wanted the truth, so I gave it him."
"And if I want the truth?" Ianto challenged.
They maintained eye contact until they simultaneously glanced away.
"You can't handle the truth." the Captain muttered darkly, and Ianto couldn't help but snigger. "What?" demanded Jack.
"Nothing ... just ... in my time, that's a really cheesy quote from a famous film." he smiled to himself. He drank in Jack's somber expression and schooled his features. "What am I then?" he asked. "Am I just a shag? Because shockingly, I can't live with that."
"I will take you as my lover, but that doesn't mean I'll love you." Jack told him in that way that meant he'd made his final decision, and he wasn't going to change his mind. "You can't sleep with anyone else without my permission, and I'll extend that courtesy to you. You will stay here three nights a week minimum. And everyone will know that we are together, because I'm not doing the whole secret shagging thing, because that's just tiring."
Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I want relationship boundaries, not a job description."
"You'll get what you're given, and if you're good to me you'll get a lot."
"I've only ever been good to you, Jack." Ianto murmured quietly, staring down at the desk.
"I can sense that. And ... and I'm extending a certain amount of trust to you. On the mornings you haven't stayed here, I want you to come and wake me up with a cup of coffee."
"And when will this leave me time to have breakfast with Rhys and the kids?"
"I get up when you wake me up." shrugged Jack. "Could be six AM, could be ten. I'm leaving that to you."
"You're being very specific." sniffed Ianto.
"I've got you a key for my office and my house." Jack continued, pushing the little circle towards Ianto. "Works the same as the one for the Records Office - just keep it in your pocket."
Ianto nodded, uncomfortable with the businesslike way Jack was handling this. "Jack - ..." he began. "Jack, I ... I don't know if this is right, I mean ... can't we just let it happen? Why decide now how many nights I stay over, or what I do in the morning - why plan all those things that should develop over time on their own?"
"If it doesn't work out, we can change it." shrugged Jack.
"You don't understand." huffed Ianto.
Jack gazed at him sadly, and dropped his head. "I'm sorry ... I ... I ... I don't know what ... I know what I want. I suppose I just ... " He threw his hands up, unable to explain himself.
"Jump ahead to where you thought I already am?" asked Ianto. "Jack, I know this is ... this is starting over ... we don't need to rush or jump ahead or even make plans. Just let ourselves go with it, and see how all those things develop on their own."
Jack nodded slowly. "I see your logic." he conceded, then sighed heavily. "I'm trying. It's just so hard when ... it doesn't matter."
"When what?"
"Erm ... when ... you're from such a different time. Different values." tried Jack, earnest, but Ianto could tell it was a lie.
"What's making it hard, Jack?"
"I can't love you."
"You keep saying that."
"I mean it. I can't. It's not that I won't. It's that I can't."
"Ohhh-kay, you've lost me. I don't seem to recall it being impossible to lo-"
"I know you're putting up with all of this, and coming to my bed, and allowing me to make this pretence of a relationship because you think I'll fall in love with you. You have to accept right here, right now, that I can't. I'll pretend to - I'll even lie to you - but I actually cannot - in no way - ever possibly love you."
Ianto tried to hide the hurt, and he shook with it, gripping the arms of the chair "Why?"
"Because."
Ianto narrowed his eyes, drinking in Jack's body language, trying to discern what he was ... ah! He was hiding something. "You're hiding something." Ianto stated, and Jack's eyes flicked up at him, boring into him.
"See." sighed Jack. "You freak me out."
Ianto blinked. "Sorry."
"S'not your fault." murmured the Captain.
"What are you hiding, Jack?" Ianto asked.
"Please, Ianto. Don't." he plead, eyes glistening and wide.
He bit his lip, considered, and nodded. "Okay. I'll ... I'll let it lie. For now."
"Thank you." whispered Jack. "And I'm sorry for ... planning. You seemed to like order and ... and structure so ... I don't know. I wanted to order and structure for you."
"Oh! Jack!" smiled Ianto. "Really: leave the ordering and structuring to me. Otherwise I get claustrophobic ..."
"And I just go with it?" asked Jack , a little incredulous.
"Usually ... usually you didn't know you were being ordered and structured ...." smirked Ianto.
Jack laughed. "No ... I don't like being told what to do ..."
Ianto smiled, and they fell into a comfortable silence. Ianto eventually, tentatively, broke it. "Er ... Vegas put ... Vegas put loads of creepy crawlies in my bed so ... maybe I could stay here tonight?" he asked.
Jack grinned. "Sure. I think I've got space." he winked, standing up and gathering some papers together. He carelessly shoved them in a metal filing cabinet, and Ianto's eyes lingered on the drawer for a couple of seconds.
"Erm ... Jack? Do you have an archiving system of any sort in this place?"
"Yeah!" Jack nodded. "That drawer is this weeks paper work ... and the other drawers are ... um ... Misc.?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "So ... basically ... the same filing system that's in use over in the Records Office?"
Jack nodded guiltily, and Ianto stood to face him. "Sorry." mumbled Jack.
"I don't believe you." smiled Ianto, ducking away from Jack as he tried to pull him in for a kiss. He laughed as Jack lunged for him again. "I need to get my things!" Ianto shoved him off, trying to giggle in the most manly way he could, rather than sounding like a hormonal teenage girl.
"Your things?"
"My pyjamas, and my change of clothes. That's all I've got, so I may as well get it now before I move in with Rhys tomorrow."
"Ahhh okay. I'll wait for you downstairs - you have a key ..." the Captain smiled.
"See ya in a minute." grinned Ianto, and slipped outside. He practically ran back to the barracks V, and had to stop himself bursting through the door. He calmed, then entered the room wearing his favourite stoic expression. Jessica and Rina were sat on Rina's bed, and Vegas had switched the curtain on around his. Freddie was, as ever, absorbed in taking notes from his laptop and Till and Jodie were playing three dimensional chess.
Without saying a word, he took his things out of his drawer, slipping the galaxy around his neck and carefully balancing his toiletries on his rough towel with his pyjamas and spare uniform. He heard Till moving to get up, and when he stood she was just behind him.
"You're moving?" she asked.
"There's an opening in a unit. The other adult is from my century so ... it makes sense." he said, trying to smile.
"Oh ..." she mouthed. "... okay ... well ... good luck. And ... and don't forget me, okay?"
Ianto narrowed his eyes. "Forget you? Why would I? You'll still be around."
She looked up at him sadly. "Yeah. Course I will."
"I was thinking ... you're the only one here who ... well, who was worth my time. If you ... d'you wanna go for a picnic on Tuesday? With me and my new family?"
She blinked. "Erm ... yeah ... yeah, I'd like that ..."
"Promise you'll come? Lunch time? I'll walk you from here."
"Yeah ... yeah ..." she smiled softly. "Yeah."
"Good." he grinned. "Right ... see you Tuesday, then?"
"Yeah. Okay."
"See ya, Till."
"See ya."
The door shut behind him, and he let out the anxious breath he'd been holding. He knew it was probably in his head, but the way Till had spoken then ... it was like she was ... planning to off herself. And Ianto wouldn't let her do that. She had to rejoin her timeline in a couple of years, so he couldn't understand why she'd ... anyway ... he knew now that she'd hopefully hang on until Tuesday, and maybe he'd talk to her then.
Regretfully he pushed thoughts of Till from his mind and concentrated on getting upstairs to Jack. He used his back to push open the office door, and made sure it locked shut again behind him. He descended the spiral stairs, and found Jack sprawled across his bed in the bedroom, reading something.
"What's that?" Ianto asked out of interest.
"A letter from my son. He was fighting by the Mine Belt."
"Oh ... I ... will he be safe?" asked Ianto.
"This letter was in the bag of things soldiers keep aside to be sent back to their families when they die." Jack told him, carefully putting the letter away.
Ianto felt frozen to the spot. "Wh - wha - I thought ... Till said the conflict was over ..."
"It is. It ended fifty years ago. All that's left is the mine field that served as first defence. It's okay, Ianto. Really."
Ianto set his things down on the dresser and crawled into Jack's bed, pulling the Captain into his arms. He was happy to discover that this Jack slept naked, too. Gently, he ran his hand over Jack's arm, then his chest, then down to his abdomen, and then lower. He felt Jack's nose inhale deeply in the crook of his neck, and squeezed the sensitive flesh of his Captain's inner thigh gently. Jack's arms pulled him closer, and he seemed to be only experimentally kissing at his neck as Ianto's hand curled around his growing erection.
Gently, Ianto stroked him, doing everything he knew Jack loved, then hesitated.
Jack frowned and lifted his head from Ianto's shoulder. "Why've you stopped?" he asked huskily.
"Am I ... am I freaking you out?" Ianto bit his lip, and Jack gazed up at him, then shook his head.
"I've decided to appreciate what you know of me." he said. "I've decided not to waste time being frightened and just enjoy what you offer me."
"But you are still a little scared." Ianto stated.
"Stop talking." Jack ordered gruffly, taking his wrist and pushing it towards his groin. "Just do those things to me. I need you to do those things to me, Ianto."
Jack cried out as Ianto began again, arching his back, then curling himself to Ianto's body, letting the arm around his shoulders support him and the hand around his cock take him to ecstasy.
~*~*~*~
"Tell me what I used to be like," smiled Jack, gazing over at Ianto, lying on his side and mirroring him.
"Pfft ..." began Ianto. "Well, you looked just like you ..." - Jack laughed - "... and you sounded like you. But ... you walked a little different. You seem happier now, and you ... bounce."
"I 'bounce'?"
"Yeah. You bounce. And ... you smile less, but ... I think you smile inside more. Anyway ..." Ianto cleared his throat. "Anyway, back then, you ... you weren't the most ... I dunno ... desirably behaved."
"Am I now?"
"Sometimes you got so cold and distant and ... I thought I'd done something wrong. You'd always ... hold me away at arm's length. And it ... hurt ... at least this time I know where I stand, huh?"
Jack glanced away, then re-established eye contact and smiled. "What else?"
"You were the dashing, Big Damn Hero. But ... you could never keep anything clean or organised!"
" - some things haven't changed, then?" smirked Jack.
"And you would only shower if I went in there with you. You used to talk with your mouth full, then stick your tongue out at me when I complained. That was disgusting. But ... you made up for it later. And ... and you were always buying me things. Like ... little presents. I hated most of them, but I appreciated them, I swear. Especially the cufflinks shaped like coffee mugs."
"Good, good." smiled Jack, though Ianto knew he didn't remember.
"You ... you were the only one there for me at the worst time of my life. And you did so much for me that I never got to tell you how much I appreciated. And ... I never got to ... I never got to tell you that I loved you."
"You told me just now." Jack said softly.
"I loved your past self. You're different now ... I can see that. I can see that clear as day. I suppose I do love you, but I will always, always mourn my Jack."
Ianto let the practiced words roll off his tongue without bursting into tears, and managed to hold his composition 'til the end. Jack reached out and touched his face, gently.
"You're so young ..." he whispered. "... sometimes, so like a child. But then you show me these little moments of such ... I don't know ... maturity? Wisdom? And ... I'm glad you see that myself and your Jack are separate. I know you didn't when you first got here. Not really."
"I realised the real difference today. The way you spoke to Vegas." Ianto told him bitterly. "My Jack would never had spoken like that."
"What would he have said?"
"He'd have apologised, said that he would always remember their time together fondly, but they had to move on now that there was someone new in both their lives. He wouldn't be able to help how he ... felt. And then he'd have given him a hug, maybe a peck on the cheek, and it would have eased everything for both of them."
"I've found compassionate break-ups end with the dumped party stalking me, thinking they've still got a chance." scowled Jack.
Ianto rolled his eyes, then leant forward and pressed their mouths together. "I promise not to try and change you." he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on Jack's.
"I promise not to talk with my mouth full." grinned the Captain.
"Ha! Like you'll keep that promise!"
"Like you'll keep yours." Jack countered, and watched Ianto's eyes flick open in surprise.
"I always keep my promises." he told him firmly.
Jack smiled. "I'm sure you'll do your best."
"... and my best is pretty damn good." scowled Ianto, shifting a little and letting Jack rest under his arm, head on his chest.
"You may have to prove that to me." smirked the Captain.
"Shouldn't be hard." replied Ianto, a haughty air to his tone.
"No ... but you should be ..." Jack growled, running his hand up Ianto's inner thigh.
"I should be sleeping." yawned Ianto, batting his hand away.
Jack's hand gently rubbed his chest. "Fuck me again, Ianto." he whispered, and Ianto felt the words shoot straight between his legs. "I'm not satisfied with just a wank ..." He kissed at Ianto's neck at the spot he found earlier that had made Ianto shiver. It was just behind and below his ear, and when his lips touched it again Ianto smiled and moaned.
"Ask me nicely ..."
"Please?" Jack requested quietly.
Ianto smiled wider, and kissed his head, grabbing his leg behind the knee and pulling it up and around himself. He flipped Jack onto his back and stayed between his legs, pushing his hips down and feeling Jack's fingers rubbing over his entrance, kneading his buttocks and squeezing his thighs. Jack reached for the lube, passing it to him, and drew his legs up so that Ianto could make him ready, keening when the fingers were removed and whimpering as Ianto all-too-slowly entered him.
"I won't fucking break ..." he growled, staring up at the man inside him, trying to push him to be rougher.
"Shut up." ordered Ianto, and kissed him, leaning down low. He knelt up straight, grasped one of Jacks' ankles in each hand and began relentlessly thrusting in and out of him, hearing Jack's vocalisations of delight through the fog of pleasure in his body. He managed to find the willpower to pull out from somewhere, and never saw Jack so desperate and disappointed before. "On your belly ... that's it ..." he muttered and soothed, rubbing Jack's shoulders as he did as he was told, spreading his legs for Ianto to kneel between them and sink back inside him.
Ianto returned to his rough thrusting, his fingers knotted in Jack's hair and pulling a little. He felt Jack come hard, and it brought him off. He pulled out just in time to see the white, hot cum spurt from his body and starkly spill over the tanned planes of Jack's back. Jack gasped at the liquid heat on his skin, panting from his own orgasm, and buried his head in his pillow, feeling the cum move with him while Ianto dipped the mattress retrieving the wipes. Gently he cleaned him off, first between this thighs and over his hole before finally mopping his back.
Jack turned over, his eyes still dark, and reached out to him with his hand. Ianto pulled him close, cuddling him, an arm around his shoulders as the Captain nuzzled his chest.
"You came on me." he said after a while.
"Yeah I ... sorry ... don't you like that?"
"Not usually."
"Oh ... I ... sorry ... I ... you ... sorry, it just ... I like doing it so ..."
"I said 'not usually'. I liked you doing it."
"For the record, I don't see it as a form of claiming."
"Liar." Jack told him softly, nuzzling his chest hair again.
"Sorry." Ianto breathed.
"It's okay. I liked it. Just ... not again for a while, okay?"
"Sorry." Ianto repeated.
"Stop saying that. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't do it right, either." Ianto pointed out.
"I liked it. It was okay. Now: sleep." ordered the Captain, closing his own eyes. He cracked one open a minute later to see Ianto still staring worriedly at the ceiling and biting his lip. Leaning up, he pressed a kiss to his cheek, and he jumped out of his reverie. "Just make me coffee in the morning, and it will all be fine." he muttered, running his hand through Ianto's hair and down his cheek. Ianto gave him a small smile and nodded, and Jack continued to stroke his hair until he fell asleep.
Sure he was unconscious, he snuggled down and shut his eyes. It was a good few hours before he was even relaxed enough to sleep, his mind racing with thoughts of Ianto, of being with Ianto, of holding Ianto and of being fucked by Ianto. Of needing Ianto. Something inside him told him he needed Ianto.
He raised his head in the dark, making out the young man's sleeping face in the gloom, and sighed heavily.
Was he actually considering reversing it - if only for a few moments - just to see what it could be like to have this properly again?
He knew it wouldn't be possible - once it was reversed, there was no going back. Not for a long time. So much heartache, and so much pain. He felt it when his children died, and he felt it when his children lived. Love for children was much deeper engrained than simply the heart, mind and soul. An idea was forming deep inside him that Ianto - with his familiar ways of touching him, of knowing him, of clearly being everything he was trying to save himself from - was inadvertently worming his way towards that devastatingly unconditional and unescapable love.
Jack squeezed the sleeping man tighter, biting his lip and pressing his face into the dark smattering of hair on Ianto's chest.
He could reverse it. He could reverse it in the knowledge that he would be able to someday do it again, when the grief and pain got too much. A month he had had Ianto, but facing eternity without him suddenly seemed like the worst thing Jack could possibly imagine for himself. He felt the iron taste of blood in his mouth, and realised he was biting his lip too hard. Licking the cut, he disentangled himself from Ianto's protective embrace and pulled on some comfortable clothes.
Time, he decided, to make a trip to the basement.
That would help him make up his mind.
MEGA CHAPTER! - okay, 8.5K.
*ouch* fingers hurt!
Comment if you liked! - or if you didn't ... :/
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Chapter: 04 | ??
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Author:
a_silver_storyGenre Alternate Universe, Romance
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe.
Warnings: A bit of angst, and some tentacles and d/c in the future.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto finds himself heartbroken and alone, but eventually learns that no matter what point in Captain Jack Harkness' life he finds himself, they will always fall in love.
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
First Part
Another Life
Jack spent most of the day helping to clear the rubble that had once been the band stand, and said very little to Ianto when they did see each other. Ianto understood and gave him his space, only venturing near him to give him coffee. Jack had given him a tired smile of appreciation and a quick hug before sipping from his mug, setting it down and continuing with his work.
After five ‘o’ clock, Ianto's time was his own, so he decided to drop in on Rhys. He looked tired and dishevelled, clearly not having had time to mourn the friend he had lived with, helped raise a child with and, most probably, had gotten very close to. The flat he was living in was cosy and homey, very child friendly and very ... lived in. It was spacious, with a separate kitchen and dining room, three bedrooms – two en suite – a bath and shower room and also a playroom for the little boy.
They sat at the dining room table with cups of tea – the child, Giacomo, was in lessons – and a sort of awkward silence fell. They hadn’t really known each other back home, and Ianto supposed they were only reaching out to each other now because they were from the same place. He took a deep breath trying to think of something to say.
“Erm ...” He shuffled uncomfortably. “... I heard about ... about your ... erm ....”
“She was a friend.” sighed Rhys. “But ... I was expecting it. She never really was happy here.”
“What was her name?”
“Helena.”
Ianto nodded, and stared into his tea.
“So ...” Rhys changed the subject. “You and the Captain getting on at all? I heard he gave you a job pretty quick.”
“Yeah ... in the Records Office.” Ianto smiled weakly. “The place is a bomb site. Gonna take forever to get in order ...”
“Yeah.” agreed Rhys.
Another awkward silence fell as they sipped their tea and cast around for conversation starters.
“So ... um ...” Ianto decided to try speaking. “... how’s ... your boy? Giacomo?”
“Oh!” Rhys beamed. “He’s lovely – he really is. I think I’ve got it right with him, y’know?”
“Good ... good ...” Ianto looked back to his half empty and getting-cold mug. “Erm ... Jack was saying that ... well, we’re from the same century, same time period, even ... he was saying about putting me in here with you.”
Rhys nodded. "Not happy in the barracks?"
"Not really, no." admitted Ianto.
“I’ve been hearing the rumours they’ve been spreading about you.”
Ianto's head snapped up. “Rumours?”
“Yeah. Apparently you’ll shag anything that moves, don’t give a shit about anyone but yourself and hurt other people for your own amusement.” he told him, expression grim.
“You don’t believe that, do you?”
“Of course I bloody don’t! And I set that boy with the stupid name right with harsh words to Kaan.”
“That was his dad, right?”
“Yeah, but Boy With Stupid Name was always ... a loose cannon.”
“He can say what he wants about me. It doesn’t make any difference as far as I’m concerned. It’s not like I work with anyone, and the only other person I talk to is Jack, and he ... he knows what I’m like.”
“Yeah? You and he are ... y’know ... ‘getting on’?”
Ianto smiled and nodded. “Yeah we’re ... we’re getting on fine.”
“You’re ... y’know ... interested in each other again?”
Ianto gave a small laugh. “Definitely.”
“Have you ... y’know ...?” smirked Rhys.
“Four times.” Ianto said casually, and not actually expecting a specific answer Rhys snorted into his tea. Ianto sniggered.
“Didn’t waste your time did you? When did this start?” he laughed, wiping his face with a tissue.
“Yesterday.”
Rhys stared at him. “Four times in one day? Where do you find the stamina?” he asked, almost gaping.
“Coffee.” he shrugged. “I’ve also found there’s been a distinct lack of adrenalin rushes since coming here, so I think I’ve got some weird restlessness from that, too.”
Rhys nodded, still a little bit surprised. "No idea where you'd get that energy ...."
Ianto laughed to himself again, sipping from his mug. "He's ... different." he admitted. "A lot more ... I don't know ... he's more ... finished. Like ... I dunno. Like he's figured out exactly what's right for him now. He doesn't need to experiment anymore. He knows what he wants."
"Right ..." Rhys shuffled uncomfortably.
"Oh! I didn't mean sexually!" laughed Ianto, and Rhys looked visibly relieved. "I mean ... oh even I don't know what I mean. He's different, and he's ... I wouldn't say he's better. I could never say that. It's like ... he's the guy I wished he was back then, but could never have. And now I've got him, all I want is my Jack back."
Rhys nodded. "I understand."
"I wouldn't change him for the world, though. That I already know for certain. And if I end up in another part of space and time, and have to start over again, then this is the Jack I'll be craving."
"You've only known him a month, in reality." Rhys said carefully. "You can't be certain that ... y'know ... you'd last out here, in like ... a society, outside of the isolation of the hub and away from all those ... mortal dangers ...."
Ianto regarded him a moment. "I never ... I never thought of it like that before ...."
"Context is important, no matter what your relationship is. Context could make or break it." Rhys advised.
Ianto nodded. "We'll have to see."
"There isn't really a question of it working, is there? We all see the way he looks at you at lunch. And everyone knows he hasn't slept with anyone since you got here." Rhys winked. "The ladies and gentlemen are heartbroken."
Ianto smirked to himself.
"Smug bastard." smiled Rhys, then his expression turned serious. "But ... if you wanna move in here ... that's fine by me. As long as we split household chores, I don't mind cooking. You have to do your fair share of work with Jack, too, so ... you can't spend every second of spare time with the Captain."
"Jack ... Oh! Giacomo. Got you."
"Yeah, most people call Giacomo 'Jack' and the Captain ... well, Captain. If you say 'Jack' I'll probably assume you're talking about Giacomo."
"Oh ... right ... I'll keep that in mind ... but ... erm ... I have no idea how to look after a child ..."
"You'll pick it up. And he's an angel - he really is. Obviously, he's not perfect, but he's damn near."
"I suppose we could try it. But ... I'm warning you: I'm useless with children. Really, I am. When it came to my niece and nephew, I paid them to be good. That is not great parenting."
Rhys laughed and shook his head. "Nope." he agreed. "Don't worry, I'll help you out. He'll love you, I bet. When are you moving in?"
Ianto shrugged. "Dunno. Whenever Jack - the Captain - gives it the go ahead? What cue should I take? Who do I go to?"
"Clear it with the Captain, and he can move what ever pawn he needs to." smiled Rhys. "It's good to have a familiar face around." he sighed sadly. "I was starting to wonder if ... I was starting to wonder if I'd imagined or dreamt the old life ...."
Ianto nodded, and finished the dregs of his cold tea. "So ... what have you studied here?" he asked.
"I used to do a twilight course in modern literature, but it was all shit. Everything's already been done by this point so ... it's all the same."
"Do they still know who Shakespeare is?" asked Ianto.
"Oh yeah!" nodded Rhys.
"What's music like now?"
"Just a load of electronic noises that make no sense or melody whatsoever."
"... is The Lord of the Rings trilogy still available in extended edition box sets?"
"Had 'em in my rucksack when the Rift took me." beamed Rhys. "After shopping, I was going for a lads' night in, and we were gonna have a marathon and a drinking game. I've got the original Star Wars trilogy too - and Shaun of the Dead."
"No. Way!" beamed Ianto. "Is there anything to play them on?"
"Helena knocked together a primitive DVD player-esque thing and they play okay. Watching them alone isn't that fun, though ... and Jack's too young for most of the films ...."
"When I move in, we'll have to have a marathon - yes, that's right: I'm the James Bond of the Torchwood outfit and also a nerd: go figure."
"James Bond is lost on an ocean of time." Rhys declared sadly. "Forgotten over the ages ... but dammit those films were good! What I wouldn't give for ten minutes of Goldfinger."
Ianto smiled. "Yeah ... I'm gonna miss Bond."
"Don't worry. I won't tell anyone if you cry," Rhys assured him, face serious. "But they don't make action figures anymore."
Ianto blinked. "What?"
"They don't do action figures."
"Why?"
"Because they're bastards."
Ianto opened and closed his mouth a few times. He sniffed. "They're just dolls, Rhys." he said bravely.
"Yeah ... y'know ... Gwen made me get rid of mine."
"Jack re-enacted the Karma Sutra with mine."
Rhys sniggered. "He didn't take them out of the boxes did he?"
"I think it's best if I don't dwell on that particular incident for too long." Ianto scowled.
"Sorry." Rhys told him, sincere.
"It's okay. It technically happened six billion years ago. No point being upset."
"Nope."
"None at all."
"Not a smidge."
Ianto nodded, then took a deep breath. "I couldn't believe it though! I told him not to touch them! He was supposedly 'down with flu', I come home at lunch to check on him and Storm is re-enacting The Butterfly with He-Man."
Rhys snorted, laughing. "I don't even know what that is!"
"Oh it's when-"
"AND I DON'T WANNA ... ahem ... I mean: too much info ...."
"Haha! Sorry!" grinned Ianto, and laughed. "So ... has there been anyone since ... y'know ... Gwen?"
Rhys sighed. "I've only been here a year. I'm still not ... I'm still not over it."
"No. I don't think we ever will be. Any of us." replied Ianto quietly.
"Jack gives me something to concentrate on, though. Seeing him makes it easier, and watching him grow up will be worth all this shit in the end."
Ianto nodded. "Back home ... did you and Gwen ever ... ?"
"Yeah, we had two by the time I ... 'went'. A little boy called Bobby, and a little girl called Natasha. Captain Harkness was Godfather to both, and he was a big help when ... when Gwen ..."
"Oh." Ianto breathed, understanding.
"I wondered what happened to them after I'd gone. My mam and dad and both Gwen's parents were dead by then - we lost them all in a year - so I suppose responsibility would have fallen to the Godparents."
"You think Jack would have taken care of them?"
"I hope so, but he probably didn't." sighed Rhys. "He'd have made sure they were looked after, then left them to grow up. Maybe drop in occasionally."
Ianto nodded. He knew it would be true. "No way of knowing for certain now." he said quietly.
"No." agreed Rhys. "Though ... I wish ... just ten more minutes with them. Five. Anything, no matter how small ... I'd give anything. Anything."
Ianto tried to smile comfortingly, not knowing what to say.
"You finished that?" Rhys asked, standing up and taking Ianto's mug. Ianto stayed seated, letting him go to the kitchen to wash up and compose himself. He returned with a couple of chocolate bars, and grinned widely, handing Ianto one. "Chocolate was an industry the scientists heavily invested in," he explained, peeling open his own bar. "so it's become the most delicious, intoxicating and addictive treat in the known Universe."
Ianto nibbled a little at the top of his, and was fairly certain the blissfully delicious taste in his mouth could give him a hard on if it wanted to. It was creamy and sweet, yet there was a bitter edge and maybe a trace of something a little hazelnut-y. "Mmmm ..." he sighed. "... and there was me thinking I'd miss Dairy Milk ...."
Rhys laughed, then jumped when his watch started beeping. "Right," he declared. "I need to go and pick up Jack from his rugby."
"Rugby? He's five!"
"So's everyone else playing, so it's even." Rhys told him authoritatively.
Ianto shrugged. "Whatever you think is best."
Getting up to leave, he followed Rhys to the front door. Rhys shut it behind them, and they walked a little down the corridor.
"Ooh!" Rhys exclaimed suddenly. "You couldn't talk to the Captain about maybe getting us moved, could you? Maybe ... number double-oh-seven on the top floor? Much nicer than this dump." He indicated the corridor on which he lived. "The only thing holding it together is duct tape, and now that flat is empty - and the Captain isn't exactly adverse to favouritism - may as well move the favourite in, right?"
Ianto blushed a little. "I'll talk to him."
Grinning, Rhys bade him goodbye at the bottom of the stairs and they went their separate ways, and Ianto couldn't help but smile to himself as he made his way up to the top of the building. He groaned as he reached the spiral stairs that lead up to where the Records Office and the Captain's office were, secretly wishing there was some form of lift.
He whistled to himself, opening the door to Jack's office with the intention of making some more coffee to take down to Jack in a thermos and finding the man himself slumped back in his chair behind his desk, eyes closed. "Sorry!" Ianto exclaimed. "I assumed you were still downstairs ... are you okay?" he frowned, stepping through the door a little way.
"Tired." was all Jack said. His hair and clothes were greying with dust, and some of it had found its way into the creases of his skin, making him look old and weary.
"I was about to make some coffee?" Ianto offered, and the Captain nodded, his eyes still closed. "Would you like it a little sweeter? Maybe with a bit of cream?"
Jack's eyes opened, and he frowned warily. "How did you know?"
"You turn girly when you're upset." Ianto told him, matter-of-factly, and made his way to the kitchen, leaving the door open so that he could hear Jack while he made the coffee.
"What makes you so certain I haven't changed?" Jack asked.
"You have changed. Completely and utterly, but you're still you. The main parts that make you up are still in there."
"And how I take my coffee is a 'main part'?" questioned Jack, standing to linger in the doorway, arms folded, watching.
Ianto smirked to himself. "To me it is."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Coffee was always the way to your heart." he smiled, offering a steaming mug to Jack. Jack took it, avoiding Ianto's eyes and staring into the rich depths of the slightly creamy, slightly sweet coffee. "You look guilty." Ianto frowned. Jack's head snapped up.
"What have I got to be guilty for?" he asked, practically snapping the question.
Ianto blinked. "I ... I don't know, do I? I thought you might be ... y'know ... harbouring a bit of self-loathing after what happened ... with the - the - the bandstand!"
"How did you know?" Jack asked, incredulous.
He felt a stab of annoyance, and didn't mean to snap, but he did. "Because I know you! Maybe not ... completely - most definitely not as completely as before. But ... you can wear a thousand different faces, but those who know you will recongnise you in an instant because you can't change the essence of who you are. You're a con man, Jack. You know this!"
"You can change." muttered Jack darkly.
"Well you haven't." Ianto retorted, turning back to the coffee machine to make himself some. He took a deep breath, and set his mug down. "I'm sorry for snapping. I didn't mean to."
"You're still messed up from everything. I understand."
Ianto hung his head, then turned. "I'm sorry." he repeated.
The Captain set down his mug carefully and pulled him into his arms, stroking dirty fingers through his hair.
"Oh! Oh no!" Ianto groaned, pushing him away and batting the dust from his clothes. "Ohhh I'm all dirty now!"
"It suits you." smirked Jack. "Maybe you could come and help with clearing rubble tomorrow."
"Manual labour doesn't suit me as much as being dirty." Ianto deadpanned, suddenly very aware of the fact Jack had him practically pinned between the Captain and the kitchen work surface. He trailed his fingers up Jack's arms before interlocking them behind his neck and pulling their foreheads together.
Jack sighed and rubbed their noses together, and Ianto parted his lips slightly as Jack's mouth moved towards his, anticipating the kiss that was to come. The Captain didn't disappoint, ghosting and teasing over Ianto's lips, pulling back slightly and making Ianto follow him, laughing a little before claiming Ianto's mouth and probing his tongue forward to explore.
He could feel Jack's hands roaming over his body, squeezing and stroking his sides, trying to find his little hotspots. He was in totally the wrong place at the moment, but he'd learn, decided Ianto. He scratched his fingernails over Jack's nape and felt him shudder in delight, his tongue delving deeper and nearly cutting off Ianto's air supply, lifting him onto the surface behind so that he could wrap legs around him.
The Captain pulled back suddenly, and stared at him. Ianto frowned, giving him a questioning look.
"I ... I have to go ..." Jack muttered, hurriedly grabbing his mug and practically running down the spiral stairs to his quarters.
Ianto stared after him, unsure what to do or say, sat frozen on the work surface. He shut his mouth with a snap and hopped down, wondering what he'd done wrong. He hesitated in going after Jack, then decided to leave him. He picked up his mug, tried to shake the dust from his hair and clothes, and made his way back to his halls, cursing himself for not mentioning his move with Rhys, or possibly having them move flat.
He took a deep breath and opened the door to his room, and the usual hush that proceeded him to his bunk followed. It lasted a little longer than usual, and he internally frowned. The back of his neck prickled, and he realised that they were all watching him. He glanced over at Vegas and Jessica cuddled up on Rina's bed across the room, with Rina herself sat cross-legged at the foot of it. They've done something, he realised, and bit back his annoyance.
It didn't take him long to realise what. He pulled back his covers, and found a variety of insects and arachnids all crawling around under the duvet. Vegas, Jessica and Rina started guffawing, then seemed to quiet when they realised he didn't seem that bothered.
Rolling his eyes, unfazed, he picked up one of the larger, hairier spiders and walked calmly over to the three on the bed, holding it out. "Want to stroke it?" he offered, as if he was holding a cute, cuddly ferret rather than a rather creepy-looking spider. "He won't bite, really. He just looks threatening."
Rina was already scrabbling away, and Jessica was clinging to Vegas' arm. Vegas himself regarded Ianto cooly - clearly, it was he who had put the insects and arachnids there, showing no bother with them. Test one: complete.
Ianto gently put the spider on the bed beside Jessica, and she gave in and shrieked, scrambling away and standing beside Rina, the girls holding each other. Vegas allowed the little creature to crawl into his palm and held it up. "Odd place to keep spiders," he commented. "I wouldn't want such sly, two-faced creatures as my bedfellows."
"Only certain species actually turn on each other, and usually only the females." Ianto informed him, picking up what looked like a millipede but had several different coloured shells on its many sections. He watched it wandering and snaking around his fingers, fascinated by the leg movements and the glistening armour that surrounded it.
Till chose that moment to wander in, and froze at the tableaux. She drank in Ianto's bed, covered in creeping, crawling beings, and Vegas sat on the bed with his spider, and Ianto with his insect. She rolled her eyes. "Y'know, Vegas, one day you'll grow the fuck up and pull a guy like ... oh, I don't know? The Captain."
"Ha!" Ianto smirked at Vegas, who had sat bolt upright, drawing in breath to retaliate.
"Save it!" snapped Till, then turned to Ianto. She seemed as distracted as him by the armoured plates of the millipede, then shook herself out of it. "Saw the Captain on my way up here. He sends a message. Wants you in his office and you're to take Vegas."
"What for?" scowled Vegas.
"Er ... I dunno. Maybe he wants to cuddle on the couch and watch re-runs of "Q'ida and Ryan' while eating truffles and talking about hair?"
"Piss off, Till." Vegas muttered darkly.
"I repeat: grow the fuck up."
Ianto put the millipede back on his bed, and turned around to retrieve the spider, only to see Vegas put in on the floor and stamp on it hard. He rubbed his shoe on the floor to scrape the remains from it, then turned on his heel and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Ianto's eyes slid down the gooey mess that had been the spider, then glanced at his bed, alive with movement. With a sigh, he decided he was above hiding insects in other peoples' beds, and hid them back under the darkness of the duvet, knowing they'd be happier there.
He quietly left the barracks, Freddie still with his head in his laptop, Rina and Jessica still muttering to themselves and Jodie and Till sat reading. Till gave him a nod as he left, which returned with a weak smile, and he shut the door behind him. He had almost expected that Vegas would be waiting for him, and it took little less than a quick turn to get the body that had suddenly jumped out at him off his back and onto the floor.
"What is it with you?" Ianto hissed. "You're such a child! I can't believe they let you leave the unit!" he snapped, and began to stalk in the direction of the spiral stairs that lead to Jack's office. Vegas picked himself up and stomped up behind him, keeping his distance as they made their way to their destination, refusing to speak.
Ianto knocked on the heavy door to the Captain's office, and entered as instructed. He was a little surprised to see that not only was Jack clean and smiling, but Rhys was there with him, too.
"Ah! Ianto, Vegas! Have a seat ..." Jack indicated the chairs that had been set out for them, and Ianto chose the one nearest to where Rhys was standing. "So, tell me: what's going on? Because I really, really want to know." he ordered, though his voice was bright. "Vegas? Will you go first?"
Vegas glared at him, then took a deep breath. "He came in and he just ruined everything." he muttered.
Jack raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
"He ... you ... he just did! It's the way he is!"
Jack's other eyebrow joined the raised one. "I see. Could you possibly tell me what it is about 'the way he is' that has offended you?"
"You and me had something, and he came along and ... and he just ..."
The Captain frowned thoughtfully. "Vegas ... we had sex twice. That's hardly something - and it was over Professor Milling's desk."
"Yeah but ... you ... you said ... you said you liked me. You said you would take me out."
"Listen, kid, if you were naked when I said that, I probably didn't mean it."
"Jack!" Ianto admonished.
The Captain's eyes flicked to him, and then back to Vegas. "What?" he asked.
"You're ... you're not being, fair is all ..." Ianto muttered.
"How so?" frowned Jack.
"Just ... just be a bit more tactful ... you're hurting him."
The Captain thought for a second. "Erm ... sorry?" he tried. "My interest in you was physical?"
Rhys and Ianto both rolled their eyes, and Vegas stared at his hands. "That's not how it felt." he murmured quietly. "Not how you made me feel."
"That's the point of sex: to feel special."
"It's not!" Vegas' head snapped up, and he glared at the Captain. "That's not the point at all!"
Ianto leaned back in his chair, finger resting on his bottom lip as he watched Vegas carefully, his elbow resting on the arm.
Jack was trying to stare him down, but Vegas was defiant. Neither of them spoke until Jack finally broke the gaze, and it was Vegas who broke the tense silence. "The point is ... yes, feeling good is part of it. But ... making someone else feel good ... seeing how they feel about you, that's the point. The point is appreciation, as well as your own satisfaction."
"How naive." commented Jack. "Look," he continued quickly, given the sharp look Ianto shot his way. "you were a shag, and I'm sorry - everyone seems to have realised except you, and I suppose that's partly my fault - but since when have I ever been with someone more than a few times?"
Vegas returned to staring at his hands, saying nothing.
"Besides, I prefer adults who act like adults, not adults who do nothing but act like spoilt little children."
His head snapped back up again, and he pointed at Ianto. "But! But he - "
"I don't care." Jack cut him off. "Whatever you think he did: it was me. Now you better go and apologise to everyone, tell them you were spreading vicious rumours and set the record straight: Ianto is a lovely young man, he'll do anything for anyone, and unlike you he is polite, well-mannered and one helluva demon in bed. Got that?"
Ianto felt sure he was blushing, if not still caught up in confusion. Was he just a shag? He'd certainly felt special ... he'd certainly been made to feel special ...
What if, now that he had 'put out', Jack would have someone else in his bed this time next week?
Deep in thought, he totally missed Vegas being dismissed, and only came back to reality when Rhys sat down in the chair next to him.
"Next item ..." continued Jack, and Ianto watched him carefully. "You're moving in with Rhys?"
Ianto nodded silently.
"Good - well, I've reviewed the living arrangements and I think it would be better for you all if you moved up to the top of the accommodation block - flat seven?"
Rhys nodded vigorously, and Ianto murmured his assent.
"Good - you can move in in the morning, Ianto. Rhys; pack your things and you can move in when it suits you. Make sure little Giacomo knows the way to and from his schoolroom to the flat, don't forget!"
"I won't, Captain!" beamed Rhys, and he started getting up. "I'll ... I'll go start now! Thanks, mate." he added, in Ianto's direction. Ianto wondered what he meant, then remembered he was supposed to talk to Jack about getting them moved up to that flat.
Alone with Jack, he sighed heavily, but it was Jack that spoke first.
"I'm sorry about before." he said quickly.
Ianto regarded him carefully, leaning forward a little and quirking an eyebrow.
"You freak me out." Jack admitted.
"How so?" frowned Ianto.
"We're on totally different levels with each other," Jack explained. "so ... I feel ... I dunno. It's like having amnesia. I'm looking at a total stranger, but you know me. We're on totally different levels, and ... and I wish ... I wish I could catch up to you ... know your body like you know mine. And it's frustrating!"
"Is this ... is this because I scratched the back of your neck?"
"Yes! Exactly! I love that. I didn't know I loved it until you showed me, and I realised you did it because you already knew, and it just freaked me out because ... because I don't know you!"
"Don't worry. This time next week you'll have a new shag, and I'll be nicely tucked away with Rhys and the kid."
Jack looked a little hurt. "I thought you wanted Vegas off your back?"
"You didn't have to hurt his feelings!"
"What was I supposed to say? He was only there to pass the time? I played him to get what I wanted? He's pretty, so he sufficed for the time being? He wanted the truth, so I gave it him."
"And if I want the truth?" Ianto challenged.
They maintained eye contact until they simultaneously glanced away.
"You can't handle the truth." the Captain muttered darkly, and Ianto couldn't help but snigger. "What?" demanded Jack.
"Nothing ... just ... in my time, that's a really cheesy quote from a famous film." he smiled to himself. He drank in Jack's somber expression and schooled his features. "What am I then?" he asked. "Am I just a shag? Because shockingly, I can't live with that."
"I will take you as my lover, but that doesn't mean I'll love you." Jack told him in that way that meant he'd made his final decision, and he wasn't going to change his mind. "You can't sleep with anyone else without my permission, and I'll extend that courtesy to you. You will stay here three nights a week minimum. And everyone will know that we are together, because I'm not doing the whole secret shagging thing, because that's just tiring."
Ianto raised an eyebrow. "I want relationship boundaries, not a job description."
"You'll get what you're given, and if you're good to me you'll get a lot."
"I've only ever been good to you, Jack." Ianto murmured quietly, staring down at the desk.
"I can sense that. And ... and I'm extending a certain amount of trust to you. On the mornings you haven't stayed here, I want you to come and wake me up with a cup of coffee."
"And when will this leave me time to have breakfast with Rhys and the kids?"
"I get up when you wake me up." shrugged Jack. "Could be six AM, could be ten. I'm leaving that to you."
"You're being very specific." sniffed Ianto.
"I've got you a key for my office and my house." Jack continued, pushing the little circle towards Ianto. "Works the same as the one for the Records Office - just keep it in your pocket."
Ianto nodded, uncomfortable with the businesslike way Jack was handling this. "Jack - ..." he began. "Jack, I ... I don't know if this is right, I mean ... can't we just let it happen? Why decide now how many nights I stay over, or what I do in the morning - why plan all those things that should develop over time on their own?"
"If it doesn't work out, we can change it." shrugged Jack.
"You don't understand." huffed Ianto.
Jack gazed at him sadly, and dropped his head. "I'm sorry ... I ... I ... I don't know what ... I know what I want. I suppose I just ... " He threw his hands up, unable to explain himself.
"Jump ahead to where you thought I already am?" asked Ianto. "Jack, I know this is ... this is starting over ... we don't need to rush or jump ahead or even make plans. Just let ourselves go with it, and see how all those things develop on their own."
Jack nodded slowly. "I see your logic." he conceded, then sighed heavily. "I'm trying. It's just so hard when ... it doesn't matter."
"When what?"
"Erm ... when ... you're from such a different time. Different values." tried Jack, earnest, but Ianto could tell it was a lie.
"What's making it hard, Jack?"
"I can't love you."
"You keep saying that."
"I mean it. I can't. It's not that I won't. It's that I can't."
"Ohhh-kay, you've lost me. I don't seem to recall it being impossible to lo-"
"I know you're putting up with all of this, and coming to my bed, and allowing me to make this pretence of a relationship because you think I'll fall in love with you. You have to accept right here, right now, that I can't. I'll pretend to - I'll even lie to you - but I actually cannot - in no way - ever possibly love you."
Ianto tried to hide the hurt, and he shook with it, gripping the arms of the chair "Why?"
"Because."
Ianto narrowed his eyes, drinking in Jack's body language, trying to discern what he was ... ah! He was hiding something. "You're hiding something." Ianto stated, and Jack's eyes flicked up at him, boring into him.
"See." sighed Jack. "You freak me out."
Ianto blinked. "Sorry."
"S'not your fault." murmured the Captain.
"What are you hiding, Jack?" Ianto asked.
"Please, Ianto. Don't." he plead, eyes glistening and wide.
He bit his lip, considered, and nodded. "Okay. I'll ... I'll let it lie. For now."
"Thank you." whispered Jack. "And I'm sorry for ... planning. You seemed to like order and ... and structure so ... I don't know. I wanted to order and structure for you."
"Oh! Jack!" smiled Ianto. "Really: leave the ordering and structuring to me. Otherwise I get claustrophobic ..."
"And I just go with it?" asked Jack , a little incredulous.
"Usually ... usually you didn't know you were being ordered and structured ...." smirked Ianto.
Jack laughed. "No ... I don't like being told what to do ..."
Ianto smiled, and they fell into a comfortable silence. Ianto eventually, tentatively, broke it. "Er ... Vegas put ... Vegas put loads of creepy crawlies in my bed so ... maybe I could stay here tonight?" he asked.
Jack grinned. "Sure. I think I've got space." he winked, standing up and gathering some papers together. He carelessly shoved them in a metal filing cabinet, and Ianto's eyes lingered on the drawer for a couple of seconds.
"Erm ... Jack? Do you have an archiving system of any sort in this place?"
"Yeah!" Jack nodded. "That drawer is this weeks paper work ... and the other drawers are ... um ... Misc.?"
Ianto rolled his eyes. "So ... basically ... the same filing system that's in use over in the Records Office?"
Jack nodded guiltily, and Ianto stood to face him. "Sorry." mumbled Jack.
"I don't believe you." smiled Ianto, ducking away from Jack as he tried to pull him in for a kiss. He laughed as Jack lunged for him again. "I need to get my things!" Ianto shoved him off, trying to giggle in the most manly way he could, rather than sounding like a hormonal teenage girl.
"Your things?"
"My pyjamas, and my change of clothes. That's all I've got, so I may as well get it now before I move in with Rhys tomorrow."
"Ahhh okay. I'll wait for you downstairs - you have a key ..." the Captain smiled.
"See ya in a minute." grinned Ianto, and slipped outside. He practically ran back to the barracks V, and had to stop himself bursting through the door. He calmed, then entered the room wearing his favourite stoic expression. Jessica and Rina were sat on Rina's bed, and Vegas had switched the curtain on around his. Freddie was, as ever, absorbed in taking notes from his laptop and Till and Jodie were playing three dimensional chess.
Without saying a word, he took his things out of his drawer, slipping the galaxy around his neck and carefully balancing his toiletries on his rough towel with his pyjamas and spare uniform. He heard Till moving to get up, and when he stood she was just behind him.
"You're moving?" she asked.
"There's an opening in a unit. The other adult is from my century so ... it makes sense." he said, trying to smile.
"Oh ..." she mouthed. "... okay ... well ... good luck. And ... and don't forget me, okay?"
Ianto narrowed his eyes. "Forget you? Why would I? You'll still be around."
She looked up at him sadly. "Yeah. Course I will."
"I was thinking ... you're the only one here who ... well, who was worth my time. If you ... d'you wanna go for a picnic on Tuesday? With me and my new family?"
She blinked. "Erm ... yeah ... yeah, I'd like that ..."
"Promise you'll come? Lunch time? I'll walk you from here."
"Yeah ... yeah ..." she smiled softly. "Yeah."
"Good." he grinned. "Right ... see you Tuesday, then?"
"Yeah. Okay."
"See ya, Till."
"See ya."
The door shut behind him, and he let out the anxious breath he'd been holding. He knew it was probably in his head, but the way Till had spoken then ... it was like she was ... planning to off herself. And Ianto wouldn't let her do that. She had to rejoin her timeline in a couple of years, so he couldn't understand why she'd ... anyway ... he knew now that she'd hopefully hang on until Tuesday, and maybe he'd talk to her then.
Regretfully he pushed thoughts of Till from his mind and concentrated on getting upstairs to Jack. He used his back to push open the office door, and made sure it locked shut again behind him. He descended the spiral stairs, and found Jack sprawled across his bed in the bedroom, reading something.
"What's that?" Ianto asked out of interest.
"A letter from my son. He was fighting by the Mine Belt."
"Oh ... I ... will he be safe?" asked Ianto.
"This letter was in the bag of things soldiers keep aside to be sent back to their families when they die." Jack told him, carefully putting the letter away.
Ianto felt frozen to the spot. "Wh - wha - I thought ... Till said the conflict was over ..."
"It is. It ended fifty years ago. All that's left is the mine field that served as first defence. It's okay, Ianto. Really."
Ianto set his things down on the dresser and crawled into Jack's bed, pulling the Captain into his arms. He was happy to discover that this Jack slept naked, too. Gently, he ran his hand over Jack's arm, then his chest, then down to his abdomen, and then lower. He felt Jack's nose inhale deeply in the crook of his neck, and squeezed the sensitive flesh of his Captain's inner thigh gently. Jack's arms pulled him closer, and he seemed to be only experimentally kissing at his neck as Ianto's hand curled around his growing erection.
Gently, Ianto stroked him, doing everything he knew Jack loved, then hesitated.
Jack frowned and lifted his head from Ianto's shoulder. "Why've you stopped?" he asked huskily.
"Am I ... am I freaking you out?" Ianto bit his lip, and Jack gazed up at him, then shook his head.
"I've decided to appreciate what you know of me." he said. "I've decided not to waste time being frightened and just enjoy what you offer me."
"But you are still a little scared." Ianto stated.
"Stop talking." Jack ordered gruffly, taking his wrist and pushing it towards his groin. "Just do those things to me. I need you to do those things to me, Ianto."
Jack cried out as Ianto began again, arching his back, then curling himself to Ianto's body, letting the arm around his shoulders support him and the hand around his cock take him to ecstasy.
"Tell me what I used to be like," smiled Jack, gazing over at Ianto, lying on his side and mirroring him.
"Pfft ..." began Ianto. "Well, you looked just like you ..." - Jack laughed - "... and you sounded like you. But ... you walked a little different. You seem happier now, and you ... bounce."
"I 'bounce'?"
"Yeah. You bounce. And ... you smile less, but ... I think you smile inside more. Anyway ..." Ianto cleared his throat. "Anyway, back then, you ... you weren't the most ... I dunno ... desirably behaved."
"Am I now?"
"Sometimes you got so cold and distant and ... I thought I'd done something wrong. You'd always ... hold me away at arm's length. And it ... hurt ... at least this time I know where I stand, huh?"
Jack glanced away, then re-established eye contact and smiled. "What else?"
"You were the dashing, Big Damn Hero. But ... you could never keep anything clean or organised!"
" - some things haven't changed, then?" smirked Jack.
"And you would only shower if I went in there with you. You used to talk with your mouth full, then stick your tongue out at me when I complained. That was disgusting. But ... you made up for it later. And ... and you were always buying me things. Like ... little presents. I hated most of them, but I appreciated them, I swear. Especially the cufflinks shaped like coffee mugs."
"Good, good." smiled Jack, though Ianto knew he didn't remember.
"You ... you were the only one there for me at the worst time of my life. And you did so much for me that I never got to tell you how much I appreciated. And ... I never got to ... I never got to tell you that I loved you."
"You told me just now." Jack said softly.
"I loved your past self. You're different now ... I can see that. I can see that clear as day. I suppose I do love you, but I will always, always mourn my Jack."
Ianto let the practiced words roll off his tongue without bursting into tears, and managed to hold his composition 'til the end. Jack reached out and touched his face, gently.
"You're so young ..." he whispered. "... sometimes, so like a child. But then you show me these little moments of such ... I don't know ... maturity? Wisdom? And ... I'm glad you see that myself and your Jack are separate. I know you didn't when you first got here. Not really."
"I realised the real difference today. The way you spoke to Vegas." Ianto told him bitterly. "My Jack would never had spoken like that."
"What would he have said?"
"He'd have apologised, said that he would always remember their time together fondly, but they had to move on now that there was someone new in both their lives. He wouldn't be able to help how he ... felt. And then he'd have given him a hug, maybe a peck on the cheek, and it would have eased everything for both of them."
"I've found compassionate break-ups end with the dumped party stalking me, thinking they've still got a chance." scowled Jack.
Ianto rolled his eyes, then leant forward and pressed their mouths together. "I promise not to try and change you." he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on Jack's.
"I promise not to talk with my mouth full." grinned the Captain.
"Ha! Like you'll keep that promise!"
"Like you'll keep yours." Jack countered, and watched Ianto's eyes flick open in surprise.
"I always keep my promises." he told him firmly.
Jack smiled. "I'm sure you'll do your best."
"... and my best is pretty damn good." scowled Ianto, shifting a little and letting Jack rest under his arm, head on his chest.
"You may have to prove that to me." smirked the Captain.
"Shouldn't be hard." replied Ianto, a haughty air to his tone.
"No ... but you should be ..." Jack growled, running his hand up Ianto's inner thigh.
"I should be sleeping." yawned Ianto, batting his hand away.
Jack's hand gently rubbed his chest. "Fuck me again, Ianto." he whispered, and Ianto felt the words shoot straight between his legs. "I'm not satisfied with just a wank ..." He kissed at Ianto's neck at the spot he found earlier that had made Ianto shiver. It was just behind and below his ear, and when his lips touched it again Ianto smiled and moaned.
"Ask me nicely ..."
"Please?" Jack requested quietly.
Ianto smiled wider, and kissed his head, grabbing his leg behind the knee and pulling it up and around himself. He flipped Jack onto his back and stayed between his legs, pushing his hips down and feeling Jack's fingers rubbing over his entrance, kneading his buttocks and squeezing his thighs. Jack reached for the lube, passing it to him, and drew his legs up so that Ianto could make him ready, keening when the fingers were removed and whimpering as Ianto all-too-slowly entered him.
"I won't fucking break ..." he growled, staring up at the man inside him, trying to push him to be rougher.
"Shut up." ordered Ianto, and kissed him, leaning down low. He knelt up straight, grasped one of Jacks' ankles in each hand and began relentlessly thrusting in and out of him, hearing Jack's vocalisations of delight through the fog of pleasure in his body. He managed to find the willpower to pull out from somewhere, and never saw Jack so desperate and disappointed before. "On your belly ... that's it ..." he muttered and soothed, rubbing Jack's shoulders as he did as he was told, spreading his legs for Ianto to kneel between them and sink back inside him.
Ianto returned to his rough thrusting, his fingers knotted in Jack's hair and pulling a little. He felt Jack come hard, and it brought him off. He pulled out just in time to see the white, hot cum spurt from his body and starkly spill over the tanned planes of Jack's back. Jack gasped at the liquid heat on his skin, panting from his own orgasm, and buried his head in his pillow, feeling the cum move with him while Ianto dipped the mattress retrieving the wipes. Gently he cleaned him off, first between this thighs and over his hole before finally mopping his back.
Jack turned over, his eyes still dark, and reached out to him with his hand. Ianto pulled him close, cuddling him, an arm around his shoulders as the Captain nuzzled his chest.
"You came on me." he said after a while.
"Yeah I ... sorry ... don't you like that?"
"Not usually."
"Oh ... I ... sorry ... I ... you ... sorry, it just ... I like doing it so ..."
"I said 'not usually'. I liked you doing it."
"For the record, I don't see it as a form of claiming."
"Liar." Jack told him softly, nuzzling his chest hair again.
"Sorry." Ianto breathed.
"It's okay. I liked it. Just ... not again for a while, okay?"
"Sorry." Ianto repeated.
"Stop saying that. You didn't do anything wrong."
"I didn't do it right, either." Ianto pointed out.
"I liked it. It was okay. Now: sleep." ordered the Captain, closing his own eyes. He cracked one open a minute later to see Ianto still staring worriedly at the ceiling and biting his lip. Leaning up, he pressed a kiss to his cheek, and he jumped out of his reverie. "Just make me coffee in the morning, and it will all be fine." he muttered, running his hand through Ianto's hair and down his cheek. Ianto gave him a small smile and nodded, and Jack continued to stroke his hair until he fell asleep.
Sure he was unconscious, he snuggled down and shut his eyes. It was a good few hours before he was even relaxed enough to sleep, his mind racing with thoughts of Ianto, of being with Ianto, of holding Ianto and of being fucked by Ianto. Of needing Ianto. Something inside him told him he needed Ianto.
He raised his head in the dark, making out the young man's sleeping face in the gloom, and sighed heavily.
Was he actually considering reversing it - if only for a few moments - just to see what it could be like to have this properly again?
He knew it wouldn't be possible - once it was reversed, there was no going back. Not for a long time. So much heartache, and so much pain. He felt it when his children died, and he felt it when his children lived. Love for children was much deeper engrained than simply the heart, mind and soul. An idea was forming deep inside him that Ianto - with his familiar ways of touching him, of knowing him, of clearly being everything he was trying to save himself from - was inadvertently worming his way towards that devastatingly unconditional and unescapable love.
Jack squeezed the sleeping man tighter, biting his lip and pressing his face into the dark smattering of hair on Ianto's chest.
He could reverse it. He could reverse it in the knowledge that he would be able to someday do it again, when the grief and pain got too much. A month he had had Ianto, but facing eternity without him suddenly seemed like the worst thing Jack could possibly imagine for himself. He felt the iron taste of blood in his mouth, and realised he was biting his lip too hard. Licking the cut, he disentangled himself from Ianto's protective embrace and pulled on some comfortable clothes.
Time, he decided, to make a trip to the basement.
That would help him make up his mind.
MEGA CHAPTER! - okay, 8.5K.
*ouch* fingers hurt!
Comment if you liked! - or if you didn't ... :/
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 02:58 am (UTC)So much plot and history and OMG what Jack has done to himself? What does that "CAN'T" mean? Has he done something to his heart?
I'm so glad Ianto made him stop with his relationship schedule and Jack explained, because it was horrible to read.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:13 am (UTC)emotionless + basement = cyberman. Jack's keeping a cyber unit in the basement! AHHH!!!
Anyway, I don't recall if I've commented on this story yet, but I'm loving it so far. I'm so glad Ianto has Rhys
so they can become platonic boyfriends. And Jack... Jack breaks my heart and makes it happy at the same time. I'm sort of glad he's not the same as he was 6 billion years ago, but like Ianto, I'm mourning our Jack as well.no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:16 am (UTC)my first thought: LIISSAA?
LOL
How do you come up with these stories, you are just made of awesome!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:18 am (UTC)*really should go to sleep now*
Oh! And I actually went *squee* when I saw you had update. ^^
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:22 am (UTC)Fab update as always! Always love your fic :)
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Date: 2009-12-03 03:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 10:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 11:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:43 am (UTC)I did kind of see that Jack had done something. Am I right in thinking that reversing it might also help his memory????
I know, I know. Spoilers...lol.
Please hurry and update. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 03:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 04:01 am (UTC)and rhys is made of win. just saying.
I love this like nutella on crackers. and you've spoiled me for reading other WIP fics because pretty much no one else updates as fast as you. JUST SO YOU KNOW. because I actually squeed when I saw you had updated because I was not expecting one so fast. <3
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 04:42 am (UTC)I'm a real sucker for changing Jack, the whole idea of what changes and stays the same in any ones life is fascinating but for Jack well, you know.
I'm biting my nails wondering what Jack's done !!!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 04:44 am (UTC)And what the H happened to Jack to make him like that?! That's just really creepy (in a good way!) and I'm really, really seeing a Dead Man's chest in this basement. Or maybe some weird chair thing kind of like the cyber conversion unit that sucks out all the parts of the brain that feel love or something. It's really creepy - wait, I said that already, didn't I? And can't Jack just kill himself and redo whatever it is he's thinking of undoing?
And shall we send in a naked Ianto or a nude Jack to bandage you poor aching fingers?
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 05:06 am (UTC)And there was soooo much packed in here! YAY for Ianto and Rhys going to be in a unit together. Vegas... is an ass.
The biggest thing... WHAT DID JACK DO??? I'm guessing he did something to his brain that he can't feel emotions, or at least love. And the basement??? *is worried*
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 06:21 am (UTC)Your fics are addictive, yes. They also tend to make me cry. A LOT. But I keep reading, and buying more tissues because how can I not? *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 06:30 am (UTC)I can't wait to see Jack's 'love vasectomy' plot line play out.
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 07:14 am (UTC)Really good chapter -- I hope Jack reverses whatever he had done...
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Date: 2009-12-03 07:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 02:52 pm (UTC)I can hardly wait for more. I don't want to wait!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-03 08:00 pm (UTC)As I went on and Ianto found himself in the year 6b... I almost stopped reading when I came to the conclusion Jack wouldn't remember Ianto. Now I have never, ever stopped reading a fic because there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Ianto will always get back to Jack, Jack will always somehow remember... but this is sort of, set in stone?
But I kept reading and beleive me, I will never, ever think again "I'm not sure if I want to see the conclusion," because you're a jantoer just as much as I am. In a story with Jack and Ianto in, both with secrets and emotional problems, how can they not get together?
Anyway... going on. Just to say, you've won my heart and boy is it won.
Looking forward to Jacks explainations!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 02:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 02:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-04 08:09 pm (UTC)What is it with you? Are you bored? Not enough to write? Not enough complaints to send? Not enough addicted minions?
This is wonderful stuff! You broke me with the first chapter and filled me with hope in the second one. Now I'm hooked and I just can hope that they won't have to suffer much. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2009-12-06 01:24 pm (UTC)And I love reading about Ianto and Rhys too, it brings back quite how far they've both come (and I laughed at them and the action figures!).
Go on, Jack, be brave reverse it, Ianto is worth it!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-08 12:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-08 05:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 09:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-03-24 09:19 am (UTC)THANKS!