a_silver_story | SPOILER ALERT: Torchwood: Children of Earth DVD Review

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

Below the cut is my full review for the CoE DVD.

First of all: lovely menus.

^^ click for full size ^^

Er ... that's it. Really. That's the only nice thing I can really say. The packaging seems out of place with the previous DVDs, there's next to no special features and I feel like I've been cheated out of my money.

No deleted scenes.

No outtakes.

No featurettes

Just a thrown together Declassified, 30 minutes in length, that brushes lightly on everything they could possibly pack in.

I think they talked about the 456 and how scary they were and how wonderful the puppets were and how they worked longer than they talked about Ianto's death. Kiitos to them, they did a little montage part way through from "Fragments", through series one and two and through to "Day Four" - then went and ruined it by dubbing it with James Blunt. JAMES FUCKING BLUNT IS IANTO'S SWANSONG????? I DON'T THINK SO!!!! If they were going to play anything, they should have played "You do Something To Me" by Paul Weller: the song Jack and Ianto danced to at Gwen's wedding.

Hardly any GDL in the Declassified, I felt. And he was wearing something on his head that I can only describe as a "woolen condom".

RTD was all "Oh isn't it a shame Ianto had to die - but what with the peril of the situation not all of them could have made it out alive" - er ... yeah they could. It's science fiction .... JACK SHOULD BE ABLE TO DIE ... IT'S THE FICTION ELEMENT THAT STOPS HIM FROM DOING SO - SO DON'T COME AT US WITH "WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP IT REAL!" YOU'VE GOT A THREE HEADED ALIEN IN A TANK FILLED WITH POISONOUS GASES THAT GETS HIGH OFF KIDS AND YOU'RE TELLING ME IANTO HAD TO DIE TO KEEP IT REAL?????????????????????? *calming breath ... calming breath*

While watching it, I did notice the other crew members kind of go "Yes ... it was a very ... brave ... choice to kill Ianto ..." ... y'know ... in an "I never would have done it so soon" kind of way.

We all accepted that Ianto would die eventually. It just shouldn't have happened so soon.

I'm really sorry, but I can't be bothered going back and finding the username [bad LJer!], but someone said that RTD was being very "I'm breaking my toys so that you can't play with them" - what with his fuck up of the last two episodes and his sudden departure to the USA, I can't help but agree.

I'm glad he's going over to invade the Yankie Doodles. Do with him what you wish.

N/B: A little ray of RTD kindness: in his original draft, Stephen didn't die. But in the second one he did ... so ... EVIL MAN.