Spread this around - or we'll end up with politicians somewhat similar to RTD's vision of them ...

What The Guardian is banned from telling you ...



Excerpt:

Earlier this evening The Guardian was served with a gagging order forbidding it from reporting parliamentary business. To quote the article in the paper itself:

"Today’s published Commons order papers contain a question to be answered by a minister later this week. The Guardian is prevented from identifying the MP who has asked the question, what the question is, which minister might answer it, or where the question is to be found.

The Guardian is also forbidden from telling its readers why the paper is prevented – for the first time in memory – from reporting parliament. Legal obstacles, which cannot be identified, involve proceedings, which cannot be mentioned, on behalf of a client who must remain secret."

The only fact the Guardian can report is that the case involves the London solicitors Carter-Ruck, who specialise in suing the media for clients, who include individuals or global corporations.

The right to report on what’s said and done in Parliament is traditionally seen as pretty fucking important in a democracy ...

From The Third Estate




EDIT: The gag has now been lifted, but the fact it was ever approved is abysmal.

*sigh* They're even pedaling the Amazingness of da Cooper to the kiddies ..

As many of you know I'm not well. As a result of this my little sister decided to send me some things to cheer me up - these things included some trading cards she got with Doctor Who Adventures magazine. The cards showed the scores for Jack, Ianto and Gwen as follows:


Capt. Jack Harkness:

Defence: 78
Attack: 82

Ianto Jones:

Defence: 84
Attack: 79

Gwen Cooper:

Defence: 85
Attack: 82

All things considered, and comparing her to such cards as The Doctor and The Master etc, this makes her one of the strongest cards in the deck - even stronger than Jack. In fact, a lot stronger than the Jack (the Jack they have chosen is specifically from episodes pre-CoE,[Utopia, TSOD and LOTL] before he was broken) Harkness card, and I've decided not to mention how she is miraculously outranking Ianto on both counts, even though he's proven to work the best under pressure while Gwen stamps her foot and flails (y'know ... before CoE I didn't mind Gwen - now I've somehow become a Gwen basher. I'm getting picky over kids' trading cards ffs ...).

I can't honestly see how they could grade Gwen Cooper as having a stronger defence than The Weeping Angels, either. I mean: okay, so you look at them and they turn to stone, but as the Doctor himself said, you can't kill a stone. Personally I see this as being a much stronger defence mechanism than anything PC Gwen Cooper has ever come up with.

And her Attack score is on par with Jack? WTF? I don't recall her ever coming up with a plan/improvisation/anything resembling an attack other than shouting. Okay, she was a bit 'kick-ass' in CoE, but I thought we agreed that never happened? And that was two blokes in a moving vehicle. Jack stood up to an entire army of Daleks - not to mention his lil trick with the warp star and constantly, actively thinking and doing something to help the situation. Gwen and Ianto sat down and had a nice chat for a few hours - yes they were in a time bubble, but if they could communicate with the outside world clearly somethings could get through, so why weren't they doing *anything* - since Gwen appointed herself as leader (and Ianto called her 'ma'am'. I hate that he called her 'ma'am'. I hope it made her feel OLD.) wouldn't it have been her job to give direction to the survivors? I mean ... sit there and do nothing? No testing the limits of the time bubble (not bursting it obviously) - finding how much of the hub is contained within it, or if it is just the cog door. What resources were available to them? I mean, I'm fairly certain they had the armoury (so why just the machine guns? bleh!)

Okay I'm cutting this short there. I'm sick, I've got pressure on my diaphragm, I've just found out cousins across the pond spell oestrogen 'estrogen', I'm still spewing green goo a la 456, and any second now I shall do as someone previously suggested and demand ten per cent of the BBC's head writers as a 'gift'.

I will then say the idea to harvest 10 per cent of anything while coughing up green goo was totally my idea, and any similarities you see with other works is totally coincidence or homage. Y'know ... because these days the only way you can properly pay a greater piece of work the respect it deserves is to completely rip off the premise and not credit the originator.

Yes, Russell. I'm looking at you. And this is not a look of approval.


... don't make me attack you with my Gwen Cooper card. She is one of the strongest in the pack, and will pwn pretty much anything you can throw at me. Yes ... even the Doctor, with his measly little Defence score of 82 ...

The Donna pwns! Gwen fic ...

I wrote this in reply to jadeaffection, but it was too long to put in a comment so I'm going to post it here - at least more people will see it, I suppose *shrugs*



jadeaffection: Is it sad I would read a fic about that very scenario?

ME:: No ... no ... not at all ...

*writes one*






~*~*~*~





Gwen was walking down the street, quietly thinking to herself about how fookin awesum she is. She decided it was about time everyone else realised that she was the epitome of awesum, with her amazing jacket of awesum, screaming-with-gun-photograph of awesum, boyfriend-drugging adulterating habits of awesum, gap-toothed grin of awesum and womb of steel (created by said awesum).

"Ladies and gentlemen!" she declared, forcing silly old bumbling Rhys on to the floor on his hands and knees so that she could stand on his back in her awesum boots no pregnant woman should wear. "I thought you'd all like to know that you're still here because of my awesum. No one elses'. Mine. Mine. My own. Bow before my awesum and ye shall win yourselves a place in my favour and forever live your lives in fear of being pointlessly killed!"

The people in the crowd stared at her blankly, apart from a lanky man in a brown pinstripe suit, who simply gaped in disbelief. "You want awesum?" he yelled at her. "I'll give you motherfookin awesum!"

He disappeared with a flash, and Gwen stumbled slightly as Rhys' back (upon which she was still standing) trembled with what she decided to call 'The Weight of My Awesum'. The lanky man in the brown pinstriped suit ('Hang on ...' thought Gwen suddenly. 'Do I know him? I'm sure I used to know someone who wore a suit and challenged my Awesum ...') reappeared, pulling with him a ginger woman with a large handbag and an aura of pure ordinary-ness when compared to the awesumness of Gwen Cooper: PC for six months.

"Donna Noble." introduced the man. "This Gwen Cooper thinks she is made of more awesum than you."

The subservient ginger woman raised an eyebrow. "Is this true?" she asked.

"Gwen, love ..." poor, simple little Rhys mumbles. "You're getting really heavy."

"Don't worry, sweetheart." Gwen calls down to him, "I'll retcon you into forgetting this ever happened later." She turns to finally address the miscellaneous woman called Donna. "Why yes - I am the epitome of all that Awesum was created for. I'm am the ultimate human being. I am the heart of Torchwood, the eyes of UNIT, the ears of the Armed Forces and the arse of Russell T. Davies. Right now, I am the most important woman alive, made of teflon© mixed with pure love and totally indestructible. I liv-"

"Imma let choo finish ..." interrupted Donna. "But I am the most important woman in the universe ever. The. Most. Important. Woman. In. The. Universe. EVAR ... just thought you'd like to know."

"Woteva ..." replied Gwen. "I bet you never faced down the army while running holding a little girl you're not entirely sure is the one you're supposed to save because you never actually bothered to ask which ones your colleague [dammit, what was his name?] was related to, while wearing heeled boots, maintaining perfect hair and not even breaking a nail?"

"No. I just kicked the entire Dalek race's arse, thank you very much."

"Per-leeze!" laughed Gwen, teetering a little on Rhys' aching back. "You couldn't even kick my arse!"

"Oh ... oh really?"

The Donna lady turns to the lanky man in the suit, and he gives her a nod. Suddenly, Donna lunges forward and Gwen flails under the sudden pressure to do something constructive in a potentially dangerous situation. She falls on her arse, Rhys groaning with delight now that her weight is finally off him, and Donna advances forward. Using Gwen as a football, she kicks her arse up and down the street, while many bystanders wearing colourful shirts and sporting coffee mugs, greatcoats and blue boiler suits cheer her on.

Finally, Gwen is returned to Rhys with a laminated piece of card stapled to her head (using two staples, perfectly horizontal and symmetrical from each other) reading:

I am not da best. Donna Noble iz.

SUPER!TEMP FTW

Donna leaves with the lanky man to make mouthy alien babies that would totally be made of win save the cheerleader, then save the world (and still be back in time for tea at Gramp's house. Mmmmmm potato hash!)

Rhys instantly sees the good in Gwen and takes her back unquestioningly, worshipping the ground she walks upon and planting flowers where she treads, adhering to her every whim and fancy (apart from when she goes a bit extreme, and they have a mini argument over a picnic that gets resolved - usually through retcon).

The rest of the world simply didn't give a shit.










EDIT: I realised afterwards I could put this in two comments. But I'm sick and a bit slow. So leave me alone or I'll demand ten per cent of you lot as a gift! *hmph*