Torchwood IMs: Ianto's Birthday (1)
Oct. 26th, 2009 03:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_silver_storyTitle: Ianto's Birthday
Chapter: 85
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Andy Davidson, Gwen Cooper
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a_silver_story
Genre Humour, smut, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
85 |
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Jack :)
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhi
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhyscake
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Gwen
Message:
~*~*~*~
Text Message Received
To: Jack :)
From: Ianto
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Jack :)
Message:
~*~*~*~
Text Message Received
To: Rhi
From: Ianto
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhi
Message:
~*~*~*~
Text Message Received
To: Rhyscake
From: Ianto
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhyscake
Message:
~*~*~*~
Text Message Received
To: Gwen
From: Ianto
Message:
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Gwen
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Phone dead! Jack annoyed! Need coffee!
Message:
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: Charge it! Give him chocolate! I’ve got a thermos!
Message:
~*~*~*~
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Phones are all dead. DEAD. Mysterious or whut?
Message:
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: What artefacts have you brought in today? Maybe your SIM cards are being blocked.
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Sealing off everything we brought in this morning in the hope of restoring contact.
Message:
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: As long as they’re Archived and catalogued properly ....
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: When you tell me where the forms are ...
Message:
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: The drawer in your office marked ‘Archive Forms’ usually helps.
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Found them. Yer a diamond.
Message:
~*~*~*~
To: Ianto Jones i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Just quickly ....
Message:
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Just quickly ...
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE:RE: Just quickly ...
Message:
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: I am the Coffee King!
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: I am the Coffee King!
Message:
~*~*~*~
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
To: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: RE:RE: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
~*~*~*~
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: One more thing.
Message:
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: One more thing.
Message:
~*~*~*~
He’d had enough. Leave them to it, he decided.
It’d been like this since he left. Every day: “Ianto, where can I find this?”, “Ianto, where do we keep that?” .... he was fed up. He just wanted to go back to work.
Since he’d told Jack he was wearing the Cute Suit as a ploy to get him home, he decided he may as well stick it on and at least get points for honesty. He pulled the neatly labelled plastic bag and hanger from his wardrobe, and smiled to himself when he saw his earlier attempts to make Jack more organised scrawled on the little tag.
“Cute Suit: *****
(sex usually happens frequently as a result; best worn on slow days [red tie preferred])”
For his own satisfaction, he looked over a couple of other labels, yet again.
“Plain Black: ****
(Good with red or dark purple. nom.)”
“Grey w/matching waistcoat: ***
(Ideal for red, pink, purple or burgundy – preferably worn in summer)”
“Red-silk lined waistcoat: *****
(Can be worn with a suit, or nothing at all)”
“Black w/white pinstripe: *****
(Best for bright pink/red/blue. V. fuckable)”
He’d just slotted his cufflinks into place when he heard the front door open and close, and the two thuds of Jack’s boots coming off felt comfortingly familiar. He went through to the living room, and folded his arms crossly.
“Where the hell were you this morning, Jack?”
Jack loitered by the sofa. “There was ... there was a call.”
“You could have left a note. It’s my birthday. At least a note wouldn’t have made me feel quite so lonely and forgotten ...”
“I ... I’m sorry. I ... I brought you this ....”
He brought his hands out from behind his back, and produced a good old-fashioned police helmet. Ianto couldn’t help it. He grinned.
“You are so wearing that tonight ....”
“What about now?” smirked Jack, popping on jauntily.
“Mmm. Doesn’t go with the military look you’ve got going.” Ianto assessed, reaching up and taking it off his head. He tossed it onto the couch, turned back to Jack and slipped his arms around his neck. “Aren’t you going to give me a birthday kiss?”
“I’ve been thinking about it.” smiled Jack, and leant forward, touching their mouths together and taking the lead. He guided Ianto to the bedroom, pulling his tie off and kissing him at the same time, not even needing to look now that he knew the way so well. They took their time taking their clothes off, kissing and licking and nipping every inch of skin they revealed, and Jack was almost feral with want by the time Ianto was lying on his back for him.
Ianto was panting, his knees drawn up and spread wide with Jack’s fingers scissored inside him, stretching him open. He groaned as they were withdrawn, and raised his head to see Jack reaching for the duvets. Jack pulled the covers up over their heads, cocooning them in their own little private bubble, and lined himself up before pressing forward and inside Ianto's body.
Jack rested with an elbow either side of Ianto's head, their torsos touching, Ianto's cock trapped between them and their faces inches apart. He moved slowly, teasing but at the same time enough to satisfy, whispering orders for Ianto to look at him and telling him how beautiful he was. Ianto flushed crimson at the compliments and Jack kissed him luxuriously, repeating over and over again that it was true.
Holding onto Jack’s waist above him, Ianto wrapped his legs around the hot body pinning him down and clung on as Jack made love to him. His words triggered darts of pleasure through his body, even if Jack was probably no longer aware of what he was whispering in the dark of the sheets. The pace of his thrusts was picking up, his movements more jagged and rough, and Ianto fisted Jack’s hair to the point of pulling it painfully as his nerve-endings sparked with each surge into his body.
He came looking into Jack’s eyes, and Jack was flying high with him.
It was perfect.
~*~*~*~
“Fortunately, I had a cricket bat.” smiled Ianto, propping himself up on his elbow and stroking Jack’s hair.
“Unfortunately, the Weevil has a lightsaber.”
“Fortunately, it ran out of batteries.” He decided not to mention that lightsabers didn’t actually run on batteries, but Jack could work that out for himself once they were invented in the future.
“Unfortunately, the Weevil had spares.”
“Fortunately, I managed to whack it round the head with my bat while it was fumbling to find the ‘+’ symbol on the side.”
“Unfortunately, it had a padawan in the shadows who sprang out at you unexpectedly.”
“Ah, but fortunately I had you in the shadows to spring out unexpectedly.”
“Unfortunately, after dealing with the Weevils, I wanted to shag you in an alley.”
“Fortunately, I remembered to bring lube.”
“Unfortunately, a crowd has gathered and there’d be people watching.”
“Fortunately, we have Retcon.”
“Unfortunately ...” Jack hesitated and Ianto smirked. He frowned as he thought. “Ianto? Ianto Jones?” Jack glanced around quickly, sitting bolt upright.
“Jack?”
“What the hell?”
“Jack!” Ianto scurried to follow him as he threw back the covers and got out of bed, moving the blind aside to look out at the sunny day outside. “Jack! It ... what are you ....? It’s ... it’s 2009.” He said, realising what must have happened. Looking at Jack carefully, he could see a few subtle differences; the length of his hair, the way he held himself and a strange uncertainty around him that Ianto was not used to.
He found himself surrounded by Jack’s arms, crushed in close as Jack breathed in his scent. Jack pulled back and cupped his face in both hands, kissing him deep and desperate, fingernails scratching. “Jack ... you’re hurting me ...” he managed to gasp.
“I ... I’m sorry ... I never ... I never meant to ... well hello! What a time for a Vortex Manipulator to malfunction!”
Ianto blinked. “It ... um ... it’s 2009?”
This Jack looked considerably younger. Perhaps even Ianto's own age, though possibly a bit older. He was rocking shorter hair and leather pants, tight cotton t-shirt and what Ianto jokingly referred to as ‘moon boots’. The way he was looking at Ianto made him want to get dressed and go to church. He settled on for pulling on a pair of discarded boxers.
“2009, eh? I’m a long way from home.”
“Where ... where is home?”
“I could tell you that – but then I’d have to kill you.”
Ianto rolled his eyes, and Young Jack gave a small laugh. “That’s cute! Do it again!” Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Oo. Actually ... do that again ... y’know ...” He seemed to realise something. “You don’t seem all that shocked a Time Agent with a large weapon has suddenly turned up in your bedroom ...”
“By the time you meet me, I’m pretty used to it.” grumbled Ianto. “You told me this had stopped happening ...” he added, mainly talking to himself.
He blinked, and nearly fainted. There had been a slight tug to his centre of gravity, but other than that he had felt nothing.
He was stood in the hub, and he could hear someone whistling incoherently as the sound bounced off the cavernous walls and distorted the tune. Very aware he was wearing only boxers – and felt very, very cold – he glanced around. Firstly, the place was tidy enough. Secondly, he could see his coffee machine on one of the upper walkways, placing his time roundabout or possibly before the Lisa Incident. Probably pre-Lisa – if the same thing had happened to him as had happened to Jack, it meant he had taken the place of his past self.
The whistling was getting louder, and Ianto froze to the spot as he realised it was Glen Miller’s ‘In the Mood’ and Jack’s footfalls were about to round the corner from the Archives. As silently as he could, Ianto slipped into the biggest shadow he could find, heart thudding and breath catching, nerves making him feel sick and adrenalin coursing through him. He was fairly certain this Jack would either appreciate him being there in only his boxers, or try and section him.
The footsteps and whistling hesitated, and Jack turned on his heel, sensing something was wrong. He picked up a scanner from Owen’s desk and held it up as it hummed and beeped.
“Owen, Tosh, Gwen: there’s a temporal disturbance in the main area of the hub. Something’s come through; see if you can find Ianto.”
Ianto bit his lip and shivered, his heart aching for his old friends and his feet aching with the cold. He squeezed his eyes shut in the hope of transporting back home, but when he opened them he was still in the hub.
“Heyyyy, eager this morning?” Jack grinned, and Ianto looked around to find himself in Jack’s office, boxers only. Jack himself was shirtless and relaxed, his desk calendar telling Ianto he was only eight months in the past. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. Ju-just cold.”
“Not surprised.” Jack quirked an eyebrow. “C’mere. I’ll warm y’up.” He rose from his chair and didn’t give Ianto much choice before pulling him into his arms. Jack was warm. Jack was always warm.
And suddenly everything changed again. He was in a strange bedroom, but that bed was definitely his. His and Jack’s. The wardrobes matched, and the curtains were new, but other than that everything in this room pretty much belonged where it did in Ianto's flat. Jack’s things were there too. Photographs, and a couple of model planes. Not toys. Models.
There were murmurs of voices in the other rooms, the occasional bout of laughter and there was the sound of children laughing. Jack’s timbre floated through to him, and the sense of people coming together and having a good time, the warm glow of a party, made Ianto want to poke his head around the corner and have a look at what was going on.
He figured that something must have happened to his flat, and he’d moved. So, if this was his new bedroom, in the future, he’d have clothes in the wardrobe. He hurried over to it, and sure enough there were many suit bags hanging from the rail, all of them still neatly labelled and rated by Jack. He wondered idly what his future self was doing in the past as he quickly pulled on a five-star rated one and the suggested shirt colour (dark red/burgundy), opting for a black tie by default. He paused with his fingertips brushing the handle of the door, considering for a moment people might notice him change when his past self came back.
What was happening frightened him, but in the back of his mind he knew he would eventually be put back right. However, he wasn’t so sure his future self would want to come back to a room full of staring people, and it sounded like there were a fair few out there. He considered briefly whether his future self would know what was happening, before it occurred to him that he would have already been through this and know exactly what was going on. Then again ... he had no memory of being whipped out of the hub eight months ago, or pre-Lisa Monster.
He gasped as he felt that tug to his centre of gravity, and found himself sat on the floor in his bedroom, in what felt like his time. Jack was crouched by him, pale and a looking a little nauseated, hand in his hair.
“Are you back?” he asked with a small voice.
“Yeah ... yeah ... 2009?”
“Yeah.”
“Yep. What the fuck?”
Jack shook his head, and buried his face in Ianto's neck. “Don’t know ... Don’t know ... but you’re back now ... back now ... Ianto ...”
Ianto did his best to hold him back as Jack wrapped himself around him and cried.
~*~*~*~
“You’re staying where I can see you!” snapped Jack, practically dragging Ianto into the hub.
“Fine, fine ...” Ianto sighed, pretending he wasn’t being ‘forcefully’ dragged somewhere he really, really wanted to be.
“Ianto!” Gwen squealed! “Oh my God! It’s really you! I’m not hallucinating!” She threw her arms around him and he patted her shoulder awkwardly and tried to push the thermos he’d brought into her hands.
Andy was loitering close by, obviously unsure what to do or say. Ianto gave him a nod of acknowledgement before he was dragged into the medical bay and told to sit on the gurney.
Obsessively Jack took scans and tests, sticking needles in him, taking samples of hair, nails and skin cells, beeping at him with things and generally annoying him. “I thought you said this had stopped happening, anyway?” Ianto scowled.
Jack shifted. “I thought it had.”
“Liar. How many times?”
“I told you ...”
“How. Many?”
“Three.”
“Jesus, Jack! And did you take all these samples and – ow! – scans of yourself? Or did you think the slight problem of Unexplained Temporal Displacement – which I shall be calling it in my report – would simply go away?”
“I thought ... I thought it was just me ...”
“Do you remember ... like ... when you go back ... do you remember when you were then, and being whisked off to the future?” Ianto asked.
“No.” Jack said quietly.
“What does that mean? Our past selves ... forgot?”
“No. It means ... it means this didn’t happen. It means that us moving around ... it’s changing timelines. It didn’t happen before.” Jack paused by one of the microscopes, examining Ianto's skin cell samples for any sign of ... anything.
“Why’s this happening ... ?” Ianto asked sullenly.
“All I can think is ... no one’s spent more time under the Rift than me. I assumed ... maybe I’d absorbed enough background radiation to get ... buffeted around a bit. I figured that once the Rift settled a bit it would leave me alone. But ... why ... you?”
“It didn’t feel ... Rift-like. Not for me. It was ... like a tug. Being pulled out of place. I thought going through the Rift was ... traumatic, to say the least.” Ianto frowned, considering the victims he himself had taken to Flat Holm and their experiences.
“Yeah.” Jack agreed. “But what could it be if not the Rift?”
“Maybe ... your Manipulator is malfunctioning?” Ianto suggested.
“You have to be touching it for it to work. And it hasn’t worked for time travel since ... since I ... um ... y’know ... with the Doctor ...”
“Yeah.” agreed Ianto quickly, and an awkward silence fell.
Someone cleared their throat on the balcony above.
“Ianto, hi!” smiled Gwen. “Erm ... where are those claims forms? For the clean-up op expenses?”
“I’ll find them for you.” he smiled. Jack gave him a pointed look. “Okay ... Jack will follow me while I find them for you ...”
“You’re a star!” she grinned.
“I know!”
~*~*~*~
Ianto decided, by himself, that being back at work was now a permanent thing. Jack kept him constantly in his line of sight, and even a moment’s hesitation on his part meant Jack was wandering over, asking him what year it was, how he was feeling or whether he needed anything.
Andy seemed to find it amusing, but Gwen was used to Jack’s occasional bouts of over-protectiveness over one team member or other. Usually Ianto – which made her a little jealous. She had privately had a bit of a giggle when Ianto had seen the pile of ‘a few backed up items for filing’, especially since she now knew Jack would be tailing him the entire time. Ianto had made use of him, though, labelling things before taking them down to the Archives and making Jack carry most of it.
Gwen didn’t fully understand Jack’s current protective mood – Ianto had been cagey as to what had happened and whenever she heard them talking about it during the day they’d stop when they realised she was in earshot.
The end of the day finally came, and Jack pretty much dragged Ianto home and locked him up inside. Jack answered the door a little while later to find Rhys and Gwen stood outside with birthday cake and flowers, a joint gift tucked under Rhys’ arm.
“No way! Picard-era Star Trek chess!” grinned Ianto.
They sat around drinking a little wine and chatting, until it was getting near midnight and Gwen and Rhys really needed to go. No sooner had the door swung shut, than Jack had pulled Ianto up into a fireman’s lift and was carrying him to the bedroom.
“Ohhhh no!” laughed Ianto. “You’re tipsy!”
“Tipsy and horny ... and oooo look! A police helmet ...”
Ianto found himself giggling, Jack shirtless above him and police helmet perched on his head. They proceeded with little finesse, practically pulling the stitching out of each other’s clothing in a hurried attempt to be more naked. They forewent foreplay almost entirely, only giving Jack a minute or so to prepare himself before he pushed Ianto onto his back and lowered himself onto him.
Ianto tipped his head back over the edge of the mattress as Jack’s lips and tongue began to cover his neck and chest, his hands gripping Jack’s shoulders. They kissed messily and hungrily, biting and sucking at each other, Jack not caring that Ianto could hardly breathe under his weight and Ianto not being too concerned either.
“Ah! There you are, Jack!” a voice called from the bedroom door.
Jack didn’t stop. He raised his head. “Doctor! Erm ... kinda busy ...”
“Just a quick word, that’s all ...”
“Okay ...”
Still Jack didn’t stop. Ianto thought he was going to blush himself to death. “Jack ...” he whispered, burying his burning face into Jack’s neck.
“There’s a couple of ... issues ... with the Space/Time Continuum.” began the Doctor. “I noticed it first a couple of weeks ago in your timeline ... passed it off as an anomaly, but it’s been recurring. Four, maybe five times?”
“Yeah. I’ve been ... buffeting about.” Jack said, his voice strained as he still did not stop fucking Ianto, unashamed and having a conversation with an equally relaxed Doctor. “Ianto had a bit of ... ah ... an issue earlier today ...”
“Right ... well ... it could be a little bit serious.”
“Can it wait five minutes?”
“Ten!” whispered Ianto.
“Ten?”
“Alright. I’ll go ... make myself a cup of tea ... hope Time doesn’t unravel while I’m trying to find the Earl Grey ...” the Doctor muttered, pretty much to himself. He wandered out of the room, and at least had the decency to shut the door behind him.
“What. The. Fuck?” Ianto panted, Jack still not having stopped. “Ahhh ... Jack!”
“The Doctor doesn’t mind.”
“I do!”
“He’s in no way sexual – no with humans anyway. We’re just ... ‘mating’ as far as he’s concerned. Perfectly natural.”
“I still wouldn’t want it broadcast on the Discovery Channel!”
“Shuddup. I’m tryna concentrate ...”
Ianto decided to be selfish, and not hold back. He buried his head in Jack’s neck, inhaled his scent, concentrated on the feel of how tight he was around his cock, how much he loved him. He came before Jack, and felt a deeper satisfaction.
“Oops.” Ianto scowled sarcastically. “What shame. Sort yourself out. Now, off.”
Jack climbed off him, a little bit shocked and panting, wild-eyed. “Ianto ... Ianto ... baby ...”
Ianto raised his eyebrow at the endearment, Jack never having said it before. He instantly didn’t like it. “Don’t call me that.”
Jack reached out and tugged him back onto the bed. “Hold it while I kiss you ... squeeze it while I kiss you ...” he murmured against his mouth. Ianto couldn’t deny the need in his voice, allowing himself to be kissed, squeezing and stroking Jack’s dick, reaching around him with his other hand to finger him. He could feel the sticky, hot wet of his own cum leaking out of Jack’s body as he did so.
Jack finished over Ianto's abdomen, and licked him clean carefully with a wicked grin. Ianto rolled his eyes and pushed him off, moving to pull his clothes back on and greet their new ‘guest’ properly, albeit still rather flushed.
They entered the living room and found the Doctor sat jovially on the couch, sipping tea and flicking through the TV channels.
“On your own, Doctor?” asked Jack.
“Yes ... yes ... just me. Me, myself and I. Better that way ...” he said idly, flicking off the telly. “Anyway, Jack. How’ve you been?”
“I’m alright. Yourself?”
“Seen better days. Anyway ...” said the Doctor with a grin. His expression turned quickly to a frown. “Erm ... what’s with the police helmet?”
“Oops!” Jack whipped it off his head, having habitually replaced it after dressing. “He’s got a uniform kink ...” he nodded in Ianto's direction, and Ianto kept his face blank and stoic despite the fact his face was probably the same shade as his shirt.
“I ... see. Well ... okay. Back on task ... tell me exactly what happened.”
Jack sat on the sofa next to the Doctor, but Ianto remained standing, hands on hips and doing his best to glare at the intruder on the couch.
“Well,” began Jack. “we were in the SUV driving back into the city, I blinked and ... I was in another time. In the past.”
The Doctor nodded.
“It only lasted three minutes or so, the monitors picked up heaps of disturbance, but I came back.”
Ianto moved to the side of the room quietly, listening.
“We got back to the hub, and it happened again ... just more ... violently. Multiple disturbances. I went to the past and the future. But ... it’s like a full body swap. All of me goes. The first time, all of me went and nothing was switched – there was just an empty space where I was. The other times a past or future version of me arrived.”
“Mmm.” nodded the Doctor.
“It ... it doesn’t feel like going through the Rift, or the Vortex. It’s like ... stepping through time.”
“Slipping through would be closer to the mark, I’d think.” frowned the Doctor. “I’ve been picking up on the disturbance surrounding you ... couldn’t put my finger on what it was ... but then I picked up on two simultaneous cases. Someone else had a bit of a buffet around too.”
“That would be me.” Ianto told him, still a little cold and distant. “I went to the past twice – the first time, about three years back. The second, eight months. Then I went to the future, not sure how far ahead, but we found out from Gwen that it can’t be too far because in 2012 Jack knows her and not me.”
Jack shuddered.
“The thing is, Doctor,” Ianto didn’t care how many times he’d saved the planet. That was no excuse to call someone who loved him so much ‘wrong’. “wouldn’t we remember if in the past we’d been zipped to the future? I don’t remember it now, even though it’s happened to my past self.”
“Time ... Time’s very ... wibbly. And wobbly. It’s ... many people seem to think that Time is a linear example of cause to effect ... whereas really it’s more of a big ... ball. A big ball of Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey... stuff. So, while you don’t remember what happened three years ago, that past self on his timeline in a parallel universe will. Sort of. Ish. Depends on how Time works in his universe. Anyway ... Jack, as a fixed point, is at the centre of this Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey ball. He’s the core. That’s why ... that’s why this has started with him.”
“What has started with him?”
“Yeah. What has started with me?”
“The Unexplained Temporal Displacements!”
“I told you that’s what they were called!” Ianto said smugly. “I bloody told ‘im.”
“Sit down, kid.” the Doctor grinned. “Right ... well ... what’s starting is ... well, when I said it was a little bit serious ...”
“Uh oh ...” sighed Jack. “The world’s going to end, isn’t it?”
“Not the world this time, Jack. Just everything in existence. Ever. Ever ever ever. Well, maybe not a couple of parallel universes, but I think you get the sense urgency.”
“What exactly are the Unexplained Temporal Displacements?” asked Ianto, perching on the couch, still unsure of the Doctor though he couldn’t help but like him a bit. A lot. Out of respect. Because Jack did.
“They’re a confusion. Of sorts.” the Doctor waved his hand in a wild gesture. “Ish. Confusion is the best way to describe it. Time ... it’s ... getting a bit edgy over Jack being so ... fixed. Nothing in Time is supposed to be ‘fixed’, just ‘established’. Everything is over eventually, but ... Jack ... he’s a little bit too permanent, and the Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey has kind of ... shifted him about a bit in the abstract ball of Time we discussed earlier.”
“Shifted him about?” repeated Ianto. Jack frowned and listened.
“Well ... it’s far too complicated for you to understand.” the Doctor said. “Just ... the Timey Wimey has jostled him about a bit and he’s gone ... slightly off centre. He’s not quite the core any more. And in order for the Timey Wimey to move smoothly – with the problem of a fixed point – he really needs to be right in the middle. Otherwise, the Timey Wimey gets confused as to where to go and ... Unexplained Temporal Displacements.”
Ianto narrowed his eyes. “Then ... how come I’m being ... Displaced?”
“This only starts with Jack. After Jack, who’s closest to him?”
Ianto's eyes widened. “Me?”
“Yep. In all of Space and Time, it’s you he’s currently spending most of it with. My visits to the twenty-first century haven’t exactly helped, but it seems the Timey Wimey has chosen this time period to start ... confusing. I’d hate to say ‘unravelling’ at this point, but ... it’s kind of a bit unravelling. Which brings me back to the ‘everything ever is going to disappear’ part of the lecture ...”
“Right,” interrupted Jack. “So ... how do we fix this? How can we ... move me back to the centre?”
The Doctor shrugged. “I dunno.”
“Maybe ... if you made me mortal ...”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Without the core, the Timey Wimey will go ... haywire. It’d implode.” realised Ianto.
“Bingo. I like you.” nodded the Doctor.
“You liked me first.” muttered Jack.
“It’s all being well putting a fixed point into a moving circuit, but if you remove a fixed point ... chaos. No order. Gone. Poof.” the Doctor added a mime to get his point across. “So ... either we figure out how to move you back ... or ...”
“Poof?” suggested Jack.
“Poof.” agreed Ianto.
“Big fookin poof.” sighed the Doctor, and sipped his tea.
FIN
Yes, yes. I know the Doctor doesn't swear.
But sweary Doctor was fun to pop up!
And duuun duuuuuuuuuun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Will Jack and Ianto and the Doctor be able to save all known existence?
And I actually set all those email addresses up so that none of you could steal them. HA.
Next Part | Previous Part | Torchwood Index | Request a Convo/Prose Fic
Chapter: 85
Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Andy Davidson, Gwen Cooper
Author:
a_silver_storyGenre Humour, smut, angst
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: M.M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: See title, really.
FIRST PART | Ianto and Gwen's IM's
PREVIOUS | Torchwood Index/Masterlist
85 |
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Jack :)
Message:
Penblywydd Hapus cariad x
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhi
Message:
Happy Birthday little man! xx
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhyscake
Message:
Nai alassëa nosta elyen! I shall be round later with the customary crappy gift and some garage flowers. Def didn’t have to remind Gwen what day of the week it was *cough* Quetuvanyel rato! R x
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Gwen
Message:
Happy Birthday! x
Just wondering if you were coming into the hub today to celebrate? We could have coffee like old times! xxxxxxx
Text Message Received
To: Jack :)
From: Ianto
Message:
I appreciate the sentiment, but I’d have rather woken up with you here this morning than a texted phrase you found on the internet.
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Jack :)
Message:
Actually I saw it on a stamp in Hobbycraft while on a Rift energy hunt this morning. I shall be around in an hour or so to make it up to you. J xxx
Text Message Received
To: Rhi
From: Ianto
Message:
Don’t call me ‘little man’! It sounds perverse! I expect lots of cake x
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhi
Message:
Expect away! I ate all yours for old times’ sake! x
Text Message Received
To: Rhyscake
From: Ianto
Message:
Hantanyel. We shouldn’t use a mode of communication to speak in Elvish that keeps a record of it. It may come back to haunt us. And is the lingerie supposed to be a gift for you or me? Honestly you can be so selfish sometimes!
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Rhyscake
Message:
Aww okay. Elvish shall be saved for the special alone times. See you later lover x
Text Message Received
To: Gwen
From: Ianto
Message:
Thank you. I’m not allowed in the hub, so if you distract Jack with your tits I shall use my amazing ninja assassin skills to sneak you in a thermos.
Text Message Received
To: Ianto
From: Gwen
Message:
*falls down at your feet in worship* x
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Phone dead! Jack annoyed! Need coffee!
Message:
Hiya Ianto,
I know it’s your birthday and everything but could you possibly do me a massive, massive favour and OH MY GOD MAKE JACK BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN BEING HE’S DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much love,
Gwen.
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: Charge it! Give him chocolate! I’ve got a thermos!
Message:
In answer to your previous email:
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ U!
Jack said he’d be coming round to mine at some point. Hold tight!
Ianto
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Phones are all dead. DEAD. Mysterious or whut?
Message:
Hi! It’s me!
Just wondering: where did you put that filofax with all the Important Phone Numbers in? Had a look around pretty much everywhere I can think (mainly my desk) but can’t seem to find it.
Gwen’s getting on my nerves. She keeps ... typing. Loudly.
I believe we call this heightened sense of hearing and added doses of annoyance ‘caffeine withdrawal’. As I said earlier, I’ll be dropping by at some point (suddenly snowed under, so exact time is a little squiffy) and shall have to pick up a thermos of Good Stuff from you. Maybe two.
Can’t wait to see you (can you wear a suit? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. It’s been nearly two weeks!).
Jack xxx
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: What artefacts have you brought in today? Maybe your SIM cards are being blocked.
Message:
Is it you? Is it really you? I’d never have guessed!
The filofax is in the top right hand corner of your desk. Y’know. Where we keep it. Always.
Gwen is lovely. Her loud typing is a byproduct of the fact she’s actually doing work. If you did some, maybe you wouldn’t hear it so much? Just a hint there, for you.
I’m already wearing a suit.
The Cute Suit.
Drop by when you get a moment.
Ianto x
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Sealing off everything we brought in this morning in the hope of restoring contact.
Message:
Hi,
Checked for the filofax in the drawer, but the number I need isn’t in it. I’m having a look through the electronic address book, but may have to resort to Google.
I am working ... on finding the number. It’s a very difficult process.
Have the thermoses ready, and bear in mind Andy hasn’t sampled the delights of your rather spectacular coffee before.
Cute Suit? I’ll be home within the hour!
Captain Jack xxxxxxxxxxx
P.S.: Where do we keep the Weevil register? Got a new resident and can’t find where to sign her/him in.
P.P.S.: How do we tell if the Weevils are male or female again?
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: As long as they’re Archived and catalogued properly ....
Message:
What number is it you’re looking for? I doubt you’ll find all the super-important-dramatic ones with Google ...
Try Ask.com.
The Weevil register is Archived in the Weevil section in tunnel 16. It’s in the bright red folder marked “Weevil Register”. Next to it is a puce folder where I’ve stored mine and Owen’s as yet incomplete Weevil research. There you will find all the information you’ll need on how to sex a Weevil. No innuendo was intended. Really.
The Coffee Making Process has begun! I shall keep it hot for you. Watch Andy’s caffeine intake. We don’t want to turn him into a caffeine addict so early in his Torchwood life. How is he fitting in there? How’s his training going? Can you borrow his old police hat? I prefer the police helmets, but if a hat’s all he’s got ... I’ll make do.
Ianto x
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: When you tell me where the forms are ...
Message:
Ianto, hiiiii ...
The ultra important number I need is Dominos. Jubilee is closed for refurbishment!!
Just a quickie: where was I told to put the blank death certificates? Weevil mishap earlier in Butetown and need some cover-up.
And wtf is ‘puce’?
Jack x
To: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: The drawer in your office marked ‘Archive Forms’ usually helps.
Message:
I knew about Jubilee. If you’d have asked, I’d have told you.
The death certificates are in the Official Documentation section of the “Legal Forms and Contracts” drawer in your filing cabinet. They’ve always been there. Always.
Are you planning on coming home soon? Coffee’s nearly finished and it’s very hot in this suit.
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Captain Jack Harkness <i_has_a_ianto@hotmail.com>
Subject: Found them. Yer a diamond.
Message:
Found the Dominos number no thanks to you. Okay, so I used teh post-it note you wrote the number on, but today you were less than helpful! :-P
Also found the certificates. Yay.
I shall be home after sending this email. I swear.
Jack xxx
To: Ianto Jones i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: Just quickly ....
Message:
Hi Ianto,
A load of stuff has backed up since you left and I can’t find how I’m supposed to file it. Help!
Gwen xxx
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Just quickly ...
Message:
I left instructions for how to file things with Jack. In case he’s lost it, there’s a backup copy safely stored in the drawer in my Tourist Centre desk. They key is hidden under the coffee machine on the right hand side. Don’t tell Jack where it is; he’ll get out all my backups and lose them all.
Good luck!
Ianto
P.S.: Type quieter! You’re giving his Lordship a headache!
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE:RE: Just quickly ...
Message:
Found it! I followed your instructions to photocopy it and lock the master copy back in the drawer, too. You wouldn’t happen to have English instructions for the coffee machine, would you? I can only find the Welsh ones and ... I’m a little rusty.
Cheers x
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: I am the Coffee King!
Message:
The English instructions for how to work the coffee machine are here: Coffee Maker Instructions.pdf.
Hope you can figure them out.
Ianto
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: I am the Coffee King!
Message:
You bastard.
I’m going to Starbucks, and I’m going to laugh at you all the way.
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
Hi Ianto,
I’m really sorry to bother you but I’ve been trying to find some forms in the archives and I can’t spot them anywhere. I asked both Gwen and the Captain and they’ve given up and told me to ask you.
The forms are for submission of duplicate artefacts of things we already have in the archives. The memo on the database as to their use is written by you, so I hope you know where they are because both Gwen and the Captain are equally useless.
Cheerio,
Andy.
To: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
Firstly: it’s ‘Archives’ with a capital ‘A’. You have no idea how long I’ve spent getting those Archives in shape (No. I. Dea.), and you shall pay them proper respect through written language and capitalise the title. Thank you.
Secondly: The forms you are looking for are most probably in Jack’s office in the filing cabinet, second drawer down and at the back. The section should be labelled “Archiving” and you’ll be looking for “Duplicate Finds” in the sub-tabs. If you can’t find them there, ask Gwen for The Key and she’ll find you a master copy in my Tourist Office filing cabinet, and the sections will probably be named the same.
If still no dice, Tunnel 14 houses a small office and there should be a second master copy of it in the third cabinet from the left of the door.
The ‘Pride and Prejudice’ novel left on the desk in there is definitely Gwen’s. Just don’t tell her you found it.
Tip: if you make a communal document, such as a form, hide a master copy somewhere where Jack won’t find/be able to get to it. He’ll lose it if he does and you’ll have to start again.
Good luck.
Ianto
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Andrew Davidson <captain_andy_indestructible@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: RE:RE: Hello. Sorry to bother you ...
Message:
Tried the first two places and couldn’t find the form. I did, however, find a couple of others I was about to ask you about, so thank you very much.
I’m going down the Archives to check the office you mentioned. Thanks very much!
Cheerio,
Andy
To: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
From: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
Subject: One more thing.
Message:
Hi, Ianto.
I’m sorry I was a Judas and went to Starbucks.
There. I said it.
Now ... do you have a map of the Archives I might possibly be able to find/ you could email me? I think we lost Andy.
Cheers chuck
Gwen x
To: Gwen Cooper <pc_gwen@hotmail.com>
From: Ianto Jones <i_ate_your_bees@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: One more thing.
Message:
If you want to know how to find someone who’s hiding away in the Archives, ask Jack. He’s become fairly good at navigating/stalking his way through them.
Failing that: heat signals.
Actually, that’s probably how Jack does it.
Ianto
He’d had enough. Leave them to it, he decided.
It’d been like this since he left. Every day: “Ianto, where can I find this?”, “Ianto, where do we keep that?” .... he was fed up. He just wanted to go back to work.
Since he’d told Jack he was wearing the Cute Suit as a ploy to get him home, he decided he may as well stick it on and at least get points for honesty. He pulled the neatly labelled plastic bag and hanger from his wardrobe, and smiled to himself when he saw his earlier attempts to make Jack more organised scrawled on the little tag.
“Cute Suit: *****
(sex usually happens frequently as a result; best worn on slow days [red tie preferred])”
For his own satisfaction, he looked over a couple of other labels, yet again.
“Plain Black: ****
(Good with red or dark purple. nom.)”
“Grey w/matching waistcoat: ***
(Ideal for red, pink, purple or burgundy – preferably worn in summer)”
“Red-silk lined waistcoat: *****
(Can be worn with a suit, or nothing at all)”
“Black w/white pinstripe: *****
(Best for bright pink/red/blue. V. fuckable)”
He’d just slotted his cufflinks into place when he heard the front door open and close, and the two thuds of Jack’s boots coming off felt comfortingly familiar. He went through to the living room, and folded his arms crossly.
“Where the hell were you this morning, Jack?”
Jack loitered by the sofa. “There was ... there was a call.”
“You could have left a note. It’s my birthday. At least a note wouldn’t have made me feel quite so lonely and forgotten ...”
“I ... I’m sorry. I ... I brought you this ....”
He brought his hands out from behind his back, and produced a good old-fashioned police helmet. Ianto couldn’t help it. He grinned.
“You are so wearing that tonight ....”
“What about now?” smirked Jack, popping on jauntily.
“Mmm. Doesn’t go with the military look you’ve got going.” Ianto assessed, reaching up and taking it off his head. He tossed it onto the couch, turned back to Jack and slipped his arms around his neck. “Aren’t you going to give me a birthday kiss?”
“I’ve been thinking about it.” smiled Jack, and leant forward, touching their mouths together and taking the lead. He guided Ianto to the bedroom, pulling his tie off and kissing him at the same time, not even needing to look now that he knew the way so well. They took their time taking their clothes off, kissing and licking and nipping every inch of skin they revealed, and Jack was almost feral with want by the time Ianto was lying on his back for him.
Ianto was panting, his knees drawn up and spread wide with Jack’s fingers scissored inside him, stretching him open. He groaned as they were withdrawn, and raised his head to see Jack reaching for the duvets. Jack pulled the covers up over their heads, cocooning them in their own little private bubble, and lined himself up before pressing forward and inside Ianto's body.
Jack rested with an elbow either side of Ianto's head, their torsos touching, Ianto's cock trapped between them and their faces inches apart. He moved slowly, teasing but at the same time enough to satisfy, whispering orders for Ianto to look at him and telling him how beautiful he was. Ianto flushed crimson at the compliments and Jack kissed him luxuriously, repeating over and over again that it was true.
Holding onto Jack’s waist above him, Ianto wrapped his legs around the hot body pinning him down and clung on as Jack made love to him. His words triggered darts of pleasure through his body, even if Jack was probably no longer aware of what he was whispering in the dark of the sheets. The pace of his thrusts was picking up, his movements more jagged and rough, and Ianto fisted Jack’s hair to the point of pulling it painfully as his nerve-endings sparked with each surge into his body.
He came looking into Jack’s eyes, and Jack was flying high with him.
It was perfect.
“Fortunately, I had a cricket bat.” smiled Ianto, propping himself up on his elbow and stroking Jack’s hair.
“Unfortunately, the Weevil has a lightsaber.”
“Fortunately, it ran out of batteries.” He decided not to mention that lightsabers didn’t actually run on batteries, but Jack could work that out for himself once they were invented in the future.
“Unfortunately, the Weevil had spares.”
“Fortunately, I managed to whack it round the head with my bat while it was fumbling to find the ‘+’ symbol on the side.”
“Unfortunately, it had a padawan in the shadows who sprang out at you unexpectedly.”
“Ah, but fortunately I had you in the shadows to spring out unexpectedly.”
“Unfortunately, after dealing with the Weevils, I wanted to shag you in an alley.”
“Fortunately, I remembered to bring lube.”
“Unfortunately, a crowd has gathered and there’d be people watching.”
“Fortunately, we have Retcon.”
“Unfortunately ...” Jack hesitated and Ianto smirked. He frowned as he thought. “Ianto? Ianto Jones?” Jack glanced around quickly, sitting bolt upright.
“Jack?”
“What the hell?”
“Jack!” Ianto scurried to follow him as he threw back the covers and got out of bed, moving the blind aside to look out at the sunny day outside. “Jack! It ... what are you ....? It’s ... it’s 2009.” He said, realising what must have happened. Looking at Jack carefully, he could see a few subtle differences; the length of his hair, the way he held himself and a strange uncertainty around him that Ianto was not used to.
He found himself surrounded by Jack’s arms, crushed in close as Jack breathed in his scent. Jack pulled back and cupped his face in both hands, kissing him deep and desperate, fingernails scratching. “Jack ... you’re hurting me ...” he managed to gasp.
“I ... I’m sorry ... I never ... I never meant to ... well hello! What a time for a Vortex Manipulator to malfunction!”
Ianto blinked. “It ... um ... it’s 2009?”
This Jack looked considerably younger. Perhaps even Ianto's own age, though possibly a bit older. He was rocking shorter hair and leather pants, tight cotton t-shirt and what Ianto jokingly referred to as ‘moon boots’. The way he was looking at Ianto made him want to get dressed and go to church. He settled on for pulling on a pair of discarded boxers.
“2009, eh? I’m a long way from home.”
“Where ... where is home?”
“I could tell you that – but then I’d have to kill you.”
Ianto rolled his eyes, and Young Jack gave a small laugh. “That’s cute! Do it again!” Ianto raised an eyebrow. “Oo. Actually ... do that again ... y’know ...” He seemed to realise something. “You don’t seem all that shocked a Time Agent with a large weapon has suddenly turned up in your bedroom ...”
“By the time you meet me, I’m pretty used to it.” grumbled Ianto. “You told me this had stopped happening ...” he added, mainly talking to himself.
He blinked, and nearly fainted. There had been a slight tug to his centre of gravity, but other than that he had felt nothing.
He was stood in the hub, and he could hear someone whistling incoherently as the sound bounced off the cavernous walls and distorted the tune. Very aware he was wearing only boxers – and felt very, very cold – he glanced around. Firstly, the place was tidy enough. Secondly, he could see his coffee machine on one of the upper walkways, placing his time roundabout or possibly before the Lisa Incident. Probably pre-Lisa – if the same thing had happened to him as had happened to Jack, it meant he had taken the place of his past self.
The whistling was getting louder, and Ianto froze to the spot as he realised it was Glen Miller’s ‘In the Mood’ and Jack’s footfalls were about to round the corner from the Archives. As silently as he could, Ianto slipped into the biggest shadow he could find, heart thudding and breath catching, nerves making him feel sick and adrenalin coursing through him. He was fairly certain this Jack would either appreciate him being there in only his boxers, or try and section him.
The footsteps and whistling hesitated, and Jack turned on his heel, sensing something was wrong. He picked up a scanner from Owen’s desk and held it up as it hummed and beeped.
“Owen, Tosh, Gwen: there’s a temporal disturbance in the main area of the hub. Something’s come through; see if you can find Ianto.”
Ianto bit his lip and shivered, his heart aching for his old friends and his feet aching with the cold. He squeezed his eyes shut in the hope of transporting back home, but when he opened them he was still in the hub.
“Heyyyy, eager this morning?” Jack grinned, and Ianto looked around to find himself in Jack’s office, boxers only. Jack himself was shirtless and relaxed, his desk calendar telling Ianto he was only eight months in the past. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing. Ju-just cold.”
“Not surprised.” Jack quirked an eyebrow. “C’mere. I’ll warm y’up.” He rose from his chair and didn’t give Ianto much choice before pulling him into his arms. Jack was warm. Jack was always warm.
And suddenly everything changed again. He was in a strange bedroom, but that bed was definitely his. His and Jack’s. The wardrobes matched, and the curtains were new, but other than that everything in this room pretty much belonged where it did in Ianto's flat. Jack’s things were there too. Photographs, and a couple of model planes. Not toys. Models.
There were murmurs of voices in the other rooms, the occasional bout of laughter and there was the sound of children laughing. Jack’s timbre floated through to him, and the sense of people coming together and having a good time, the warm glow of a party, made Ianto want to poke his head around the corner and have a look at what was going on.
He figured that something must have happened to his flat, and he’d moved. So, if this was his new bedroom, in the future, he’d have clothes in the wardrobe. He hurried over to it, and sure enough there were many suit bags hanging from the rail, all of them still neatly labelled and rated by Jack. He wondered idly what his future self was doing in the past as he quickly pulled on a five-star rated one and the suggested shirt colour (dark red/burgundy), opting for a black tie by default. He paused with his fingertips brushing the handle of the door, considering for a moment people might notice him change when his past self came back.
What was happening frightened him, but in the back of his mind he knew he would eventually be put back right. However, he wasn’t so sure his future self would want to come back to a room full of staring people, and it sounded like there were a fair few out there. He considered briefly whether his future self would know what was happening, before it occurred to him that he would have already been through this and know exactly what was going on. Then again ... he had no memory of being whipped out of the hub eight months ago, or pre-Lisa Monster.
He gasped as he felt that tug to his centre of gravity, and found himself sat on the floor in his bedroom, in what felt like his time. Jack was crouched by him, pale and a looking a little nauseated, hand in his hair.
“Are you back?” he asked with a small voice.
“Yeah ... yeah ... 2009?”
“Yeah.”
“Yep. What the fuck?”
Jack shook his head, and buried his face in Ianto's neck. “Don’t know ... Don’t know ... but you’re back now ... back now ... Ianto ...”
Ianto did his best to hold him back as Jack wrapped himself around him and cried.
“You’re staying where I can see you!” snapped Jack, practically dragging Ianto into the hub.
“Fine, fine ...” Ianto sighed, pretending he wasn’t being ‘forcefully’ dragged somewhere he really, really wanted to be.
“Ianto!” Gwen squealed! “Oh my God! It’s really you! I’m not hallucinating!” She threw her arms around him and he patted her shoulder awkwardly and tried to push the thermos he’d brought into her hands.
Andy was loitering close by, obviously unsure what to do or say. Ianto gave him a nod of acknowledgement before he was dragged into the medical bay and told to sit on the gurney.
Obsessively Jack took scans and tests, sticking needles in him, taking samples of hair, nails and skin cells, beeping at him with things and generally annoying him. “I thought you said this had stopped happening, anyway?” Ianto scowled.
Jack shifted. “I thought it had.”
“Liar. How many times?”
“I told you ...”
“How. Many?”
“Three.”
“Jesus, Jack! And did you take all these samples and – ow! – scans of yourself? Or did you think the slight problem of Unexplained Temporal Displacement – which I shall be calling it in my report – would simply go away?”
“I thought ... I thought it was just me ...”
“Do you remember ... like ... when you go back ... do you remember when you were then, and being whisked off to the future?” Ianto asked.
“No.” Jack said quietly.
“What does that mean? Our past selves ... forgot?”
“No. It means ... it means this didn’t happen. It means that us moving around ... it’s changing timelines. It didn’t happen before.” Jack paused by one of the microscopes, examining Ianto's skin cell samples for any sign of ... anything.
“Why’s this happening ... ?” Ianto asked sullenly.
“All I can think is ... no one’s spent more time under the Rift than me. I assumed ... maybe I’d absorbed enough background radiation to get ... buffeted around a bit. I figured that once the Rift settled a bit it would leave me alone. But ... why ... you?”
“It didn’t feel ... Rift-like. Not for me. It was ... like a tug. Being pulled out of place. I thought going through the Rift was ... traumatic, to say the least.” Ianto frowned, considering the victims he himself had taken to Flat Holm and their experiences.
“Yeah.” Jack agreed. “But what could it be if not the Rift?”
“Maybe ... your Manipulator is malfunctioning?” Ianto suggested.
“You have to be touching it for it to work. And it hasn’t worked for time travel since ... since I ... um ... y’know ... with the Doctor ...”
“Yeah.” agreed Ianto quickly, and an awkward silence fell.
Someone cleared their throat on the balcony above.
“Ianto, hi!” smiled Gwen. “Erm ... where are those claims forms? For the clean-up op expenses?”
“I’ll find them for you.” he smiled. Jack gave him a pointed look. “Okay ... Jack will follow me while I find them for you ...”
“You’re a star!” she grinned.
“I know!”
Ianto decided, by himself, that being back at work was now a permanent thing. Jack kept him constantly in his line of sight, and even a moment’s hesitation on his part meant Jack was wandering over, asking him what year it was, how he was feeling or whether he needed anything.
Andy seemed to find it amusing, but Gwen was used to Jack’s occasional bouts of over-protectiveness over one team member or other. Usually Ianto – which made her a little jealous. She had privately had a bit of a giggle when Ianto had seen the pile of ‘a few backed up items for filing’, especially since she now knew Jack would be tailing him the entire time. Ianto had made use of him, though, labelling things before taking them down to the Archives and making Jack carry most of it.
Gwen didn’t fully understand Jack’s current protective mood – Ianto had been cagey as to what had happened and whenever she heard them talking about it during the day they’d stop when they realised she was in earshot.
The end of the day finally came, and Jack pretty much dragged Ianto home and locked him up inside. Jack answered the door a little while later to find Rhys and Gwen stood outside with birthday cake and flowers, a joint gift tucked under Rhys’ arm.
“No way! Picard-era Star Trek chess!” grinned Ianto.
They sat around drinking a little wine and chatting, until it was getting near midnight and Gwen and Rhys really needed to go. No sooner had the door swung shut, than Jack had pulled Ianto up into a fireman’s lift and was carrying him to the bedroom.
“Ohhhh no!” laughed Ianto. “You’re tipsy!”
“Tipsy and horny ... and oooo look! A police helmet ...”
Ianto found himself giggling, Jack shirtless above him and police helmet perched on his head. They proceeded with little finesse, practically pulling the stitching out of each other’s clothing in a hurried attempt to be more naked. They forewent foreplay almost entirely, only giving Jack a minute or so to prepare himself before he pushed Ianto onto his back and lowered himself onto him.
Ianto tipped his head back over the edge of the mattress as Jack’s lips and tongue began to cover his neck and chest, his hands gripping Jack’s shoulders. They kissed messily and hungrily, biting and sucking at each other, Jack not caring that Ianto could hardly breathe under his weight and Ianto not being too concerned either.
“Ah! There you are, Jack!” a voice called from the bedroom door.
Jack didn’t stop. He raised his head. “Doctor! Erm ... kinda busy ...”
“Just a quick word, that’s all ...”
“Okay ...”
Still Jack didn’t stop. Ianto thought he was going to blush himself to death. “Jack ...” he whispered, burying his burning face into Jack’s neck.
“There’s a couple of ... issues ... with the Space/Time Continuum.” began the Doctor. “I noticed it first a couple of weeks ago in your timeline ... passed it off as an anomaly, but it’s been recurring. Four, maybe five times?”
“Yeah. I’ve been ... buffeting about.” Jack said, his voice strained as he still did not stop fucking Ianto, unashamed and having a conversation with an equally relaxed Doctor. “Ianto had a bit of ... ah ... an issue earlier today ...”
“Right ... well ... it could be a little bit serious.”
“Can it wait five minutes?”
“Ten!” whispered Ianto.
“Ten?”
“Alright. I’ll go ... make myself a cup of tea ... hope Time doesn’t unravel while I’m trying to find the Earl Grey ...” the Doctor muttered, pretty much to himself. He wandered out of the room, and at least had the decency to shut the door behind him.
“What. The. Fuck?” Ianto panted, Jack still not having stopped. “Ahhh ... Jack!”
“The Doctor doesn’t mind.”
“I do!”
“He’s in no way sexual – no with humans anyway. We’re just ... ‘mating’ as far as he’s concerned. Perfectly natural.”
“I still wouldn’t want it broadcast on the Discovery Channel!”
“Shuddup. I’m tryna concentrate ...”
Ianto decided to be selfish, and not hold back. He buried his head in Jack’s neck, inhaled his scent, concentrated on the feel of how tight he was around his cock, how much he loved him. He came before Jack, and felt a deeper satisfaction.
“Oops.” Ianto scowled sarcastically. “What shame. Sort yourself out. Now, off.”
Jack climbed off him, a little bit shocked and panting, wild-eyed. “Ianto ... Ianto ... baby ...”
Ianto raised his eyebrow at the endearment, Jack never having said it before. He instantly didn’t like it. “Don’t call me that.”
Jack reached out and tugged him back onto the bed. “Hold it while I kiss you ... squeeze it while I kiss you ...” he murmured against his mouth. Ianto couldn’t deny the need in his voice, allowing himself to be kissed, squeezing and stroking Jack’s dick, reaching around him with his other hand to finger him. He could feel the sticky, hot wet of his own cum leaking out of Jack’s body as he did so.
Jack finished over Ianto's abdomen, and licked him clean carefully with a wicked grin. Ianto rolled his eyes and pushed him off, moving to pull his clothes back on and greet their new ‘guest’ properly, albeit still rather flushed.
They entered the living room and found the Doctor sat jovially on the couch, sipping tea and flicking through the TV channels.
“On your own, Doctor?” asked Jack.
“Yes ... yes ... just me. Me, myself and I. Better that way ...” he said idly, flicking off the telly. “Anyway, Jack. How’ve you been?”
“I’m alright. Yourself?”
“Seen better days. Anyway ...” said the Doctor with a grin. His expression turned quickly to a frown. “Erm ... what’s with the police helmet?”
“Oops!” Jack whipped it off his head, having habitually replaced it after dressing. “He’s got a uniform kink ...” he nodded in Ianto's direction, and Ianto kept his face blank and stoic despite the fact his face was probably the same shade as his shirt.
“I ... see. Well ... okay. Back on task ... tell me exactly what happened.”
Jack sat on the sofa next to the Doctor, but Ianto remained standing, hands on hips and doing his best to glare at the intruder on the couch.
“Well,” began Jack. “we were in the SUV driving back into the city, I blinked and ... I was in another time. In the past.”
The Doctor nodded.
“It only lasted three minutes or so, the monitors picked up heaps of disturbance, but I came back.”
Ianto moved to the side of the room quietly, listening.
“We got back to the hub, and it happened again ... just more ... violently. Multiple disturbances. I went to the past and the future. But ... it’s like a full body swap. All of me goes. The first time, all of me went and nothing was switched – there was just an empty space where I was. The other times a past or future version of me arrived.”
“Mmm.” nodded the Doctor.
“It ... it doesn’t feel like going through the Rift, or the Vortex. It’s like ... stepping through time.”
“Slipping through would be closer to the mark, I’d think.” frowned the Doctor. “I’ve been picking up on the disturbance surrounding you ... couldn’t put my finger on what it was ... but then I picked up on two simultaneous cases. Someone else had a bit of a buffet around too.”
“That would be me.” Ianto told him, still a little cold and distant. “I went to the past twice – the first time, about three years back. The second, eight months. Then I went to the future, not sure how far ahead, but we found out from Gwen that it can’t be too far because in 2012 Jack knows her and not me.”
Jack shuddered.
“The thing is, Doctor,” Ianto didn’t care how many times he’d saved the planet. That was no excuse to call someone who loved him so much ‘wrong’. “wouldn’t we remember if in the past we’d been zipped to the future? I don’t remember it now, even though it’s happened to my past self.”
“Time ... Time’s very ... wibbly. And wobbly. It’s ... many people seem to think that Time is a linear example of cause to effect ... whereas really it’s more of a big ... ball. A big ball of Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey... stuff. So, while you don’t remember what happened three years ago, that past self on his timeline in a parallel universe will. Sort of. Ish. Depends on how Time works in his universe. Anyway ... Jack, as a fixed point, is at the centre of this Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey ball. He’s the core. That’s why ... that’s why this has started with him.”
“What has started with him?”
“Yeah. What has started with me?”
“The Unexplained Temporal Displacements!”
“I told you that’s what they were called!” Ianto said smugly. “I bloody told ‘im.”
“Sit down, kid.” the Doctor grinned. “Right ... well ... what’s starting is ... well, when I said it was a little bit serious ...”
“Uh oh ...” sighed Jack. “The world’s going to end, isn’t it?”
“Not the world this time, Jack. Just everything in existence. Ever. Ever ever ever. Well, maybe not a couple of parallel universes, but I think you get the sense urgency.”
“What exactly are the Unexplained Temporal Displacements?” asked Ianto, perching on the couch, still unsure of the Doctor though he couldn’t help but like him a bit. A lot. Out of respect. Because Jack did.
“They’re a confusion. Of sorts.” the Doctor waved his hand in a wild gesture. “Ish. Confusion is the best way to describe it. Time ... it’s ... getting a bit edgy over Jack being so ... fixed. Nothing in Time is supposed to be ‘fixed’, just ‘established’. Everything is over eventually, but ... Jack ... he’s a little bit too permanent, and the Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey has kind of ... shifted him about a bit in the abstract ball of Time we discussed earlier.”
“Shifted him about?” repeated Ianto. Jack frowned and listened.
“Well ... it’s far too complicated for you to understand.” the Doctor said. “Just ... the Timey Wimey has jostled him about a bit and he’s gone ... slightly off centre. He’s not quite the core any more. And in order for the Timey Wimey to move smoothly – with the problem of a fixed point – he really needs to be right in the middle. Otherwise, the Timey Wimey gets confused as to where to go and ... Unexplained Temporal Displacements.”
Ianto narrowed his eyes. “Then ... how come I’m being ... Displaced?”
“This only starts with Jack. After Jack, who’s closest to him?”
Ianto's eyes widened. “Me?”
“Yep. In all of Space and Time, it’s you he’s currently spending most of it with. My visits to the twenty-first century haven’t exactly helped, but it seems the Timey Wimey has chosen this time period to start ... confusing. I’d hate to say ‘unravelling’ at this point, but ... it’s kind of a bit unravelling. Which brings me back to the ‘everything ever is going to disappear’ part of the lecture ...”
“Right,” interrupted Jack. “So ... how do we fix this? How can we ... move me back to the centre?”
The Doctor shrugged. “I dunno.”
“Maybe ... if you made me mortal ...”
“I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t do that.”
“Why?”
“Without the core, the Timey Wimey will go ... haywire. It’d implode.” realised Ianto.
“Bingo. I like you.” nodded the Doctor.
“You liked me first.” muttered Jack.
“It’s all being well putting a fixed point into a moving circuit, but if you remove a fixed point ... chaos. No order. Gone. Poof.” the Doctor added a mime to get his point across. “So ... either we figure out how to move you back ... or ...”
“Poof?” suggested Jack.
“Poof.” agreed Ianto.
“Big fookin poof.” sighed the Doctor, and sipped his tea.
FIN
Yes, yes. I know the Doctor doesn't swear.
But sweary Doctor was fun to pop up!
And duuun duuuuuuuuuun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Will Jack and Ianto and the Doctor be able to save all known existence?
And I actually set all those email addresses up so that none of you could steal them. HA.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2009-10-26 05:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 05:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 06:13 pm (UTC)..and I LOVE sweary Doctor! : D
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Date: 2009-10-26 06:25 pm (UTC)YIKES! Now Ianto's going time-jumpy!
Though... hehe... sweary Doctor is fun. :) At least he's smart enough to like Ianto. :D
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Date: 2009-10-26 06:28 pm (UTC)That is a line I like to call: win, win, win!
Ohh! And the Doctor! Yay!
I can't wait to see what happens!
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Date: 2009-10-26 06:37 pm (UTC)Great chapter (again)! For some reason Jack's Email adress makes me smile all the time :)
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Date: 2009-10-26 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-26 07:15 pm (UTC)Rhys & Ianto define "adorkable." In fact, all of the pre-smut (which was hawt) and pre-plot (intriguing!) messaging was pretty damn cute. My favourite is Gwen fearing they've lost Andy in the Archives.
“Big fookin poof.” - Ah, that brings back bitter memories of High School. :(
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Date: 2009-10-26 08:03 pm (UTC)Ooooh I like the Doctor. He has his timings down to an art. ;) As for Jack and that police hat...well...*nomnomnom* covers it. I like Jack's rating system, although I'm not sure I'd give the grey suit only 3*s. Maybe 3 and a half or 4. :P
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Date: 2009-10-26 08:36 pm (UTC)Of course, overall I'm left a bit too unsettled for comfort over this whole End of Time thing. Please don't make us wait for updates.
Ain't too proud to beg.
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Date: 2009-10-26 09:19 pm (UTC)And the last one was their future or one possible future? So they are jumping through alternate universe?
I'm so so confused!!!
But yay, it was Ianto's birthday and Jack was all perfect and sexy about it. Perfect birthday if you ask me.
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Date: 2009-10-26 10:04 pm (UTC)And all futures are possible futures. Nothing is set until you've gone through it on your own personal timeline apart from established events (Pompeii, Titanic etc etc)
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Date: 2009-10-26 09:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 03:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 03:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-27 08:09 pm (UTC)TEN! I love the Doctor.
Possibly the best you've ever written. I mean it. I want you to write DW now, with how spot on you're Doctor always is. I even forgive the swear, as this is such a gravely serious situation, that I can maybe see him letting one slip.
Yay, Ianto is back at work! Let's hope RTD is paying attention!
Well, ridunculously long comment over, now.
Bye.
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Date: 2009-10-28 12:59 am (UTC)IMs, e-mails, smut, AND the mystery deepens! Wow.
I do agree with unrequited1984 about the un-used playroom, and hope they get to use it someday soon. :) On the other hand, Ianto's back in the Hub, yay!
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Date: 2009-10-28 10:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-29 09:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-29 09:32 pm (UTC)SRS DRAMAZ are the only tv programmes I watch! ;)
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Date: 2010-02-22 07:26 am (UTC)