Another Life by a_silver_story | Part 12
Jan. 11th, 2010 07:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
a_silver_storyTitle: Another Life
Chapter: 12 | ??
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a_silver_story
Genre Alternate Universe, Romance
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe.
Warnings: A bit of angst, and some tentacles and d/c in the future.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto finds himself heartbroken and alone, but eventually learns that no matter what point in Captain Jack Harkness' life he finds himself, they will always fall in love.
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
First Part
Another Life
Another Life XII
Climbing all the way up the stairs just to go back down them again wasn’t how Ianto really wanted to spend the best part of twenty minutes, but he didn’t complain as he met Jack and the Doctor outside the office and then followed them down to the ground floor. He pulled his jacket around him as they began to descend the stairs into the basement, the temperature seemingly dropping with each step down. Jack was staring straight ahead, saying nothing, and the Doctor stared at his plimsolls as he walked, hands in his pockets and solemn-faced.
The tension made Ianto want to scream. He was on the verge of ripping his hair out and shouting at them to just tell him what was going on. Just as he opened his mouth, he found his breath catching in his throat as a mournful wail pierced the still air.
Ianto recognised it from when he had come down to check there was space for lifts and Jack had wandered down the steps, and just like that time the cry became louder and more pained the closer the Captain seemed to get. Ianto shivered again, though this time not from the cold. The wail was unearthly and distant, but Ianto was fairly certain it belonged to a human being.
Jack and the Doctor lead him to the reinforced door of the main room, and it slid open and allowed them entrance to the darkness beyond.
“Ready?” asked the Doctor.
Ianto frowned at him, and nodded, noticing how Jack shrank away from them. The Doctor buzzed his sonic screwdriver and the lights flickered on, the wailing stopped, and Ianto bit back a panicked shout when he saw what was in the room.
There were a few tables cluttered with all sorts of junk and debris – nothing that Ianto could identify – and a large box-shaped object sitting underneath it covered by a piece of black cloth. There was a frame on the wall, facing away so that the back of it was on display, and a couple of strange stands sprouting antennae dotted around. It was what was standing in the far corner that turned Ianto's blood cold.
It was a Cyberman.
Perhaps a little evolved and slightly different from the Cybermen at Canary Wharf, and from what Ianto could tell from its stillness and dark, hollow eyes it was probably dead. He stared at the metal man, shrinking back from it as his post-trauma reactions began to take over, bile rose in his throat and the urge to run away gripped him.
“What’s that doing here?” he rasped, pointing at it.
“Jack pulled it apart. He used some bits of technology from it.”
Ianto couldn’t take his eyes from it, stumbling backwards and finding the wall behind him. “What technology?”
The Doctor waited for Jack to speak.
“I ... I needed the ... I needed the Emotional Inhibitor.”
“Emotional Inhibitor ...” Ianto repeated. “No ... no ... you can’t have ... It didn’t work. You’re not like them. You’re not.”
He began to sink to the floor, hardly registering that he couldn’t hold his own weight up anymore.
“I altered it. I made it more ... specific.”
Ianto stared at the Cyberman still, unable to look at Jack, unable to tear his eyes from the monstrous things the technology inside that once robot could do. “I ... I c-can’t ....” he stuttered, fighting back his tears and the urge to vomit. “The ... the wailing ... that was the ... the Cyberman?”
“No.” Jack replied hoarsely.
“What was it?” demanded Ianto. “Tell me exactly what’s going on!”
“The ... Emotional Inhibitor ... it’s a component of a Cyberman. It needs other parts of the Cyber technology in order to be effective, so just removing it made it weaker. It had my body to contend with, as well as my brain. I developed it and ... it still wasn’t strong enough so ... I had to increase the power to it in order for it to ... run my upgrades.”
“No ...” Ianto shook his head. “You wouldn’t ... you wouldn’t do this ... you wouldn’t ... you haven’t ... I know you feel ... I know you feel ....”
The Doctor remained silent in the corner, watching Jack try and explain himself while Ianto crouched with one hand on the wall, one hand by his mouth and his eyes fixed firmly on the Cyberman.
“It still wasn’t enough.” Jack continued. “It needed more.”
“More what?” spat Ianto. “More upgrades?”
“It needed more of me.”
“How much of your body has been infested with that ... that wrongness?” glowered Ianto, though his eyes were still fixed on the metal man. “And what about ... what about the rest of this stuff?”
“Things I used and tried and tested. Most of it is fried or broken. In the end, it was quite a complicated process.”
The Doctor cut in. “But reversible. Completely reversible.”
“You can ... you can take it out and you’ll be ... you’ll be human again? You’ll be cured? Not a Cyberman anymore?” Ianto asked softly, finally taking his eyes away from the inanimate suit and looking up at Jack.
“I was never a Cyberman.” insisted Jack. “I am not now – nor never will be – a Cyberman.”
The Doctor had told him that Ianto knew what Cybermen were, but hadn’t gone into any other details. He said that Ianto would probably tell him in his own time now, and he should be ashamed of himself once he knew the whole story. Judging from Ianto's reaction, however, Jack deemed Ianto's experience of Cybermen extended beyond history textbooks.
“What are you then?” asked Ianto, shakily standing and using the wall for support.
“I’m incomplete.”
Ianto's eyes widened.
“I meant ... I’m not whole.” Jack rephrased, realising he’d said the wrong thing. “I had to take part of myself out rather than ... put something in.”
“Explain.” Ianto demanded, still leaning with his hand on the wall as if standing on his own was too much to ask right now.
“The Inhibitor needed something smaller to work with, so I gave it something smaller. In my ... old age ... I ... I grew a very strong telepathic ability. In the end ... I gave it a thought-form.”
“You ... you thought ... you ... you took an abstract aspect of yourself and thought it into existence?”
Jack nodded, secretly pleased that Ianto understood and caught on to what was going on.
“What aspect?” sniffed Ianto, though he probably didn’t need to ask. He just wanted Jack to say it. Guilt was obviously something he hadn’t considered running through the Inhibitor.
“My ... my ability to ... I put the part of me that can fall in love into a thought-form, imprisoned it and blocked its telepathic waves with the Emotional Inhibitor. And since then I haven’t even felt anything other than lust.”
“And guilt.” Ianto added bitterly, and froze as the wail sounded again from the far wall. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the frame hung to face away.
The Doctor stepped forward solemnly. “Stolen Timelord technology. We used them to transport a single prisoner over long distances.”
Ianto's eyes darted between them, and he began to walk briskly towards the hanging frame. It was taller and broader than he was, but it spun on the string holding to to the wall easily and weighed hardly anything. He gasped in disgust when he saw what it was.
It was like a mirror. Ianto could see his own reflection in it clearly, as well as the reflection of the room behind him. The only difference was the mirror showed a very weak, decrepit, hunched and depressed Captain Jack Harkness huddled in the corner of the frame. His cheeks were tear-streaked, his eyes red and his muscular frame weedy and neglected. He saw Ianto, and started scratching and clawing at the glass separating them, wailing balefully as fresh tears leaked out.
Ianto stared, transfixed.
"If I let him out, you will become one again." Ianto murmured, reaching out and touching the mirror. Jack's thought-form tried to touch back, tracing his finger over where Ianto's had been, desperate for contact. His blue eyes were dead and pained.
"We will." Jack conceded, stepping forward.
"You will feel what he's feeling." Ianto observed.
"Yes." Jack uttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I can't ... I can't ... you ... are you going to ... ?"
"Am I going to let him out?" asked Jack.
Ianto nodded, aware of the Captain walking up very close behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders.
"It depends on you." Jack said quietly. "I'll feel everything he's feeling. All that loneliness, grief, loss and abandonment."
"But there's the good things, too."
"The bad last longer than the good."
"I know. But I would never give up being love."
"If ... if we ... if I let him ... if I let myself ... you won't ... you won't leave me? Because the Doctor can take you back right now and I could just ... just carry on. You can go back to a Jack that will love you and ... forget about me."
"I stay and take care of you, you'll save yourself from this?"
Jack nodded as their eyes met in the mirror, and Ianto turned to face him, unable to look at Jack's imprisoned thought-form any longer.
"Even if I were to go back," Ianto began. "I couldn't ever, ever just forget about you. I can't just move on and pretend like we never knew each other, running into the arms of another man just because ... because he's maybe not going to be such hard work." Ianto gave a small laugh, but Jack remained serious, his eyes searching Ianto's face. Ianto became serious again. He touched their foreheads together and sighed. "I have a life here, Jack. And you're such a big part of it. But this ... this is ... I can't believe you would do this ...."
"I just needed a ... an escape from the pain ...." Jack sniffed, his voice cracking. "I needed it to go away."
"Becoming ... becoming like a Cyberman isn't the answer ...."
"Then what is?"
"That's the point." smiled Ianto. "No one knows. You can come through this pain, Jack."
"And what about when you're gone?"
"You'll find someone else, and you can share and heal with them."
"I'm scared, Ianto."
"I know ... but ... I ... I don't know if ...." Ianto closed his eyes, trying to think, aware of the Doctor watching them both closely. "I promise I'll look after you."
"You ... you will?"
"I will ... believe it or not, I think I might have had trickier relationships."
Jack bit his lip, sliding his eyes from Ianto's gaze to the mirror. "Do we do it now?" he asked, his voice low.
"Can you think of a good reason to put it off?"
"I ... left the iron on?"
"You don't even know where the iron is." smiled Ianto. He turned, and saw the strangest mix of hope and fear manifested in the thought-form's gaze at it watched them carefully, crouched as if it wanted to spring and wrap itself around Ianto and never let go. "How do we do it?" Ianto asked.
"Just break it." the Doctor told them, and Jack reached for one of the antennae-covered stands. He took a deep breath, raised it over his head and swung it down ...
... hesitating at the last moment and freezing mere inches from the glass.
"I ... I can't do it ...."
Ianto took the stand from him. "I bloody can."
He moved himself into position, and the Doctor was certain he heard him mutter something about the Cybermen not 'stealing Jack, too'. In one powerful swing, the glass of the Timelord mirror shattered, splintering out a web of cracks over the icy surface that eventually loosened and crumpled. The thought-form disappeared in a whirl of yellow and white energy, and Jack suddenly doubled over, grasping Ianto for support and making him stumble.
Ianto put the stand down, carefully navigating himself and Jack away from the shards of mirror and positioning them so that Ianto couldn't see the Cyberman in the corner. "Jack?" he whispered, the Doctor coming over as he hid his face, taking out the sonic screwdriver and buzzing away.
Jack was crying. "Just ... just take me back upstairs, Ianto ...."
"He's all there." nodded the Doctor solemnly.
"Help me with him."
Ianto guided Jack and the Doctor back up to the office, attracting a couple of strange looks from passers by as to Jack's unresponsive state. Once inside, the Doctor left them alone, giving Ianto a small nod.
"C'mon ... let's go downstairs." Ianto urged, leading the way. He sat Jack down on the sofa in Jack's living room and went into the kitchen to prepare coffee. Carefully he carried it through and set the mugs on the coffee table, settling himself close to Jack but not trying to crowd him. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
Jack stared at the floor, desolate and unresponsive.
"Jack?" Ianto murmured quietly, putting an arm around his shoulders. Jack registered the contact, and turned his head to meet Ianto's gaze. He raised a hand and rested it in the crook of Ianto's neck, running his thumb along the jawline and feeling the soft hairs beneath his fingers contrasting to the rough stubble starting to pepper Ianto's chin. He smiled slightly, his eyes glistening, his line of sight dropping to Ianto's soft, pink lips. Ianto parted them in invitation, and Jack took it.
Enfolding Ianto in his arms and holding him tight, Jack claimed his mouth and delved his tongue deep, exploring and stroking as Ianto kissed him back feverishly. The Captain was practically clinging to him, his breath catching, his fingers digging in where they held Ianto in his safe embrace.
"Stay here tonight." he whispered when they broke apart, his head resting on Ianto's shoulder.
"I will." Ianto assured him. The Captain sniffed and wiped his eyes, and Ianto stroked his hair the way Jack would his. They sat still for a while, holding each other, and Ianto wondered at what the future might hold for them.
He wasn't quite so naive as to think he'd ever had a fully emotionally committed relationship with Jack before - even back in the twenty-first century - and now he was unsure what it would bring if Jack was to openly love him now.
Breathing deeply, he relaxed and just enjoyed holding Jack while he could.
~*~*~*~
"Ah! There you are! I was starting to think you'd forgotten." Rhys grinned when Ianto returned to the flat that evening to get a change of clothes.
"Hm?"
"My night out, remember?"
"Oh ... oh yeah ... buggeration ...."
Rhys' expression turned serious. "What?"
"The Captain's ... had a breakdown ...."
Rhys folded his arms.
"Rhys ...."
"I promised Till I'd take her out tonight. If I don't pull through on that promise, she isn't going to look my way twice! Bring the Captain here."
"I can't. He's a wreck!"
Rhys threw his arms up in exasperation, turning away from Ianto to find where he'd just put his boxed cufflinks. Ianto looked him up and down distastefully.
"... you're not seriously going out on a date dressed like that, are you?"
"Why? Hoping I'll stay in instead?"
"No. I just think you'd want a first date to lead to a second. Dressed like that ... it's not."
"You're staying?"
"I'll bring the Captain over here. Or take Giacomo over to his. If I tell a little lie and make him go to bed straight away I'm sure it won't be quite so stressful. And you should be wearing dress trousers with that shirt. Those jeans and the jacket on the door I assume you're planning on wearing will make you look like a walking mid-life crisis."
Rhys sniggered. "You think so? I'll change ...."
"Ianto!" chirruped a little voice, and Giacomo came barelling out of his bedroom full of beans. "I had home school! I learnt how to wash up!"
"Did you like washing up?" Ianto asked, amused.
Little Jack nodded vigorously. "Yeah!"
"I promise you can do it every night, then."
Rhys laughed. "It's not child labour if he enjoys it, right?"
"Right!"
"So ... Ianto ... why don't you tell Jack about the arrangements tonight?"
Ianto cleared his throat and lifted Giacomo up.
"You should stop carrying him." Rhys commented. "One, you'll do your back in. And two: he's too old to be treated like a baby."
Ianto did a silent impression of Rhys that basically boiled down to him mouthing 'blah blah blah!' behind his back. Giacomo giggled and raised his finger to his lips.
Rhys turned and gave them an odd look, but Ianto and Little Jack were the picture of innocence. With an eye-roll he wandered off to get changed.
"Anyway," remembered Ianto. "Tonight ... the Captain might be coming over while Rhys is out with Till. He's going to help out looking after you."
Giacomo buried his head in Ianto's shoulder. "I'm scared of the Captain."
"Don't worry, love." smiled Rhys, ruffling his hair as he returned from getting his jeans changed and Ianto's back began to complain. "I bet he'll be your new favourite person by the time you have to go to bed. Now: how do I look?"
"Suave." Ianto decided on. "I well bet she'll snog you. Do you think he'll get a snog, Jack?"
"Eughwwwweewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Giacomo squealed, screwing up his face. Ianto gave in and put him down, his back loving the relief of no longer having an extra little person to support. "You're gonna girl germs!"
Rhys laughed. "I doubt it." he sheepishly muttered, slipping his jacket on over the shirt.
"Hang on ...." Ianto interrupted before he could make it out the door. "There we go ...." he grinned, pulling the top few button's of Rhys' shirt open. "Much better!"
"I'm not so keen on flashing my tits." Rhys deadpanned, and Ianto laughed, waving him out the door. He closed it behind him and leant on it.
He shut his eyes, silently panicking. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit ...." he chanted.
"Ommmmm!" exclaimed Giacomo from somewhere near his hip, and Ianto jumped, forgetting that Giacomo was both there and was not supposed to be hearing 'bad language'.
"Sorry," Ianto sighed. "Just ... worried."
"What about?"
"Nothing ... doesn't matter. Just ... give me a moment alone. I need to make a phone call."
He went into his bedroom, leaving the door open ajar so that he could still half-listen for Giacomo, and quickly called the Captain's number.
"Hi, Jack. It's me. I ... there's been a slight change of plan. I can't stay at yours tonight. I need to look after Giacomo, so I thought ... maybe you could come over here instead. No, not later ... now. You need to eat, and I'm cooking. He won't be any bother and if he is I can just put him to bed ... I know ... I know it will be hard for you to ... to face him. I can't leave him on his own here, though ... Jack? ... yeah ... okay ... okay ... I'll see you in ten minutes?"
Ianto hung up the phone, sighing heavily.
Jack had his reservations - it was more than expected. He needed Ianto tonight, though, and would hold himself together enough to see through spending time with his estranged son. Ianto prayed a disaster wouldn't happen, but then realised there wasn't too much reason why it would - aside from Jack getting too emotional and falling apart if he realised what he'd lost by giving his children away.
Worry gripped Ianto, and he sat on the bed staring into space so long he jumped when the knocks sounded on the door. He got up to answer it, and found the Captain on the other side, looking his usual happy-go-lucky and flirty self. Smiling broadly as he crossed the threshold, he gave Ianto a strong hug and squeeze, nearly crushing him so tight he couldn't breathe.
"Giacomo?" Ianto called, and spied a messy tuft of hair retreating behind the sofa. "He's shy." Ianto explained.
"Giacomo?" Jack tried. "Are you hiding, kid?"
Ianto leaned over the sofa, reaching an arm down to stroke Little Jack's hair. "Just come out and say 'hello'. He doesn't bite, I promise."
Giacomo bit his lip, and shakily got to his feet to peer over the couch at the Captain.
"Hey." Jack breathed softly. "You okay, little man?"
Giacomo nodded. "Please to meet you!" he said loudly, then ducked behind the settee again.
Ianto left him, sitting on the couch and patting the cushion next to him, indicating Jack should sit down. The Captain faltered slightly, but sat down gingerly. "Don't worry," he smiled. "I'm sure he'll come out when he's hungry."
Ianto smiled back. "Especially if it's his favourite for tea."
"Gammon?" asked a quick voice from behind the couch.
"Did you hear something, Captain?"
"Nope. Can't say I did."
"Did you hear anything, Giacomo?" Ianto said, turning to peer over the back of the couch where he was still huddled and hugging his knees.
"Are we having gammon for tea, Daddy?" he asked, giving an impish grin after the honorific. Ianto blinked, and he was sure he felt Jack stiffen beside him.
"Only if you come out and stop being silly." Ianto offered, and Little Jack gave him a wounded look. "C'mon, Jack. Come and sit up here with me and the Captain."
His eyes slid over to where the Captain himself had turned around to have a look, watching him with sky blue eyes and an affectionate smile. On all fours he scurried out from the sofa, stood and did a running jump onto Ianto, hiding his face in his chest.
It was only there for a fraction of a second, but Ianto was sure he saw a shadow flicker across Jack's face. He supposed it must hurt to see his own child see him as a big, scary stranger whom he could hardly look at.
"Hey, kid." he tried. "Really, I'm shy of you too. I just pretend I'm not."
Giacomo glanced over at him with the one eye that wasn't hidden in the folds of Ianto's jacket. "Really?"
"Yeah. But if you just force yourself to say 'hello' and pretend you're not shy, you won't be. Why don't you stop hiding and practice?"
"Go on." smiled Ianto when Giacomo gazed up at him for approval.
Giacomo cleared his throat and turned a little, his cheeks turning a reddish-pink. "I'm Giacomo. Pleased to meet you, sir." he mumbled, offering his hand for the Captain to shake. Jack took it gently and shook it slightly before it was withdrawn again.
"No," agreed Ianto. "So ... shall we play one of your games, Jack?"
"Huh?" frowned the Captain, probably thinking his 'games' wouldn't be suitable for Giacomo.
"Not you! Me!" sniffed Little Jack.
"Ohhhh. Okay ... it's just my name is 'Jack', too."
"You're called 'The Captain'."
"I'm called 'Captain Jack'."
"Can I be a Captain when I grow up?"
Ianto cut in. "You're going no where near the army, the navy, the marines or the air force. I'll buy you a toy boat and you can be Captain of that, okay?"
"Wrapping him in cotton wool?" smirked Jack. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Little Jack?"
"I wanna beeeeeeee ...." thought Giacomo. ".... ermmmmm .... aaaaa ... I wanna be in charge!"
"In charge of what?"
"Everything!"
"Uh oh ...." sighed Ianto. "Maybe we should have him screened to make sure he doesn't turn into an evil genius, hell bent on taking over the Universe?"
"Or give him extra lessons and turn him into one? If we help him along the way, when he gets to the top he might be kind enough to remember us and give us lots of money, power and women."
"I can definitely see that life-plan working." nodded Ianto, and he and the Captain laughed while Giacomo looked up at them confused. "Anyway, I need to start cooking dinner. Maybe nibble on some biscuits along the way ...."
At the promise of sugar, Jack and Giacomo followed him - Giacomo half hidden behind his leg as he walked, remembering to be shy of the Captain. When they got in the kitchen, he sat where he did while Rhys was cooking, by the opposite wall to the oven and hob and out of the way. The Captain sat beside him, not too close, but Giacomo didn't run away so he made himself comfortable.
Ianto fiddled with the dials on the oven, then growled. "I forgot - we need a new oven. Takeaway, anyone?"
"You said we were having gammon, though." pouted Giacomo.
"The oven's broken, love."
"I want gammon, though. You do gammon in the pan."
"The hob is part of the oven. So unless we microwave the meat, we're having takeaway."
"I vote takeaway." shrugged the Captain, getting to his feet.
"But you said though!"
"We can still get you gammon, Giacomo. I just won't be cooking it."
His pout receded a little, until he sullenly nodded his head, getting up and going to hide again behind Ianto's leg.
"Giacomo ...." Ianto groaned as he tried to get to the phone.
~*~*~*~
After nearly two hours, Giacomo began to relax properly, giggling like his usual cheeky self and chatting with the Captain like he would Ianto or Rhys. Ianto supposed he had taken to him eventually because they had 'so much in common', but was still wary of the shadows that occasionally passed over Jack's face every time Little Jack called Ianto 'Daddy' or chose to sit closer to him or asked him questions first.
Ianto managed to make him get to bed more or less on time and trouble-free, and let Jack read to him while he went to clear up their things from the meals they'd had delivered. He loitered in the doorway to Giacomo's room, listening to Jack's soothing tone and smiling as Giacomo hung on his every word until he couldn't keep his eyes open. Sure he was asleep, the Captain closed the book and set it on the bookshelf, unsure where it went.
"Middle shelf." Ianto pointed, and Jack gave a small smile and moved it. Quietly they withdrew from the room, closing the door behind them. Finally alone, Jack sagged into Ianto's arms and squeezed him tightly.
"Oh! Sorry!" exclaimed Rhys' voice behind them, and they broke apart shushing him.
"We just got him off to sleep!" Ianto stage-whispered, then frowned. "I didn't expect you back yet ...."
"Forgot ... something." mumbled Rhys.
Jack leant forward and whispered in Ianto's ear. "Condoms."
Ianto sniggered as Rhys bustled past them and into his room, emerging a couple of seconds later with his hand in his back pocket, tucking something inside. Jack and Ianto grinned at him and bade him goodbye again.
"My 'lil Rhys," sighed Ianto. "going out, getting girls ...."
"Mmmm." agreed Jack. He rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "We need to talk."
Ianto took him to his bedroom, and sat cross-legged on the bed while Jack cast his eye over the room.
"Very neat." he said eventually, sitting opposite him and resting his hands on Ianto's knees.
"Where do you want to start?" Ianto asked softly, covering Jack's hands with his own and squeezing reassuringly. Jack shrugged. "Well ... how do you feel?" he tried, moving some stray hair out of the Captain's eyes.
"I feel ... I ... I feel more alive than I've done in years." he admitted. "Even with the pain. But ... you're right. There's good as well. I ... thanks. If it wasn't for you ...."
Ianto glanced away. "The Doctor would have made you do it. I think ... I think he just thought ... I don't know. He maybe thought I deserved to know I was having a relationship with another Cyberman."
"I wasn't a Cyberman." Jack insisted.
"It's hard for me to see it in another way." Ianto muttered. "Let's just ... work through it. Can we work through it?"
"Of course we can." smiled Jack. "Can I kiss you again?"
"You don't need to ask!" blushed Ianto, allowing himself to be pulled down as Jack lay back on the bed, their mouths ghosting together before the Captain cupped the back of his head and forced him closer.
Ianto moaned into Jack's mouth as hands roamed over his body, and he arched into the Captain's touch, pushing them closer together and making Jack moan in return. His mouth moved from Ianto's lips to his neck, fingers moving to slip buttons from their holes and touch the bared skin below.
"Jack ..." Ianto breathed, his eyes fluttering closed under the Captain's attentions. "Jack ... wait ....."
"What's wrong?" asked Jack, his tone a little worried.
"Well ... Giacomo's in like ... the room across the hall."
"We'll have to be quiet then." he whispered, as if to demonstrate.
"Mmm ... okay ...." Ianto agreed. "... but ... are we ready for this now?"
"Why wouldn't we be?"
"It's ... different now."
"That's ... that's why I wanted to do it."
Ianto smiled softly. "Okay. But ... remember to be quiet ...."
Jack leant down and kissed him again, gentle and soothing. They carefully began to undress each other, eventually knelt upright in the middle of the bed, locked in a firm embrace as they kissed and brushed their erections together, gasping quietly and stifling moans. Breaking apart, Jack leant down and tugged back the covers, pulling Ianto down to lie under them with him, their eyes dark and their breath coming in deep waves.
Jack spooned into Ianto's back, kissing his neck and his shoulder. Ianto raised his arms, gripping the pillow his head was resting on as he curled his legs to make his hips push back into Jack's groin. With a shiver of pleasure, the Captain slid his hand up between Ianto's thighs, pushing two gel-covered fingers inside him. Taking his time, listening to the way Ianto's breathing changed and hitched, Jack finally removed his fingers and began pushing himself inside.
Ianto bit down on the duvet and Jack bit down on Ianto's shoulder. They hushed each other, sweating and glistening as they lay together, one inside the other. Ianto was panting, reaching an arm behind him to run down the back of Jack's thigh. Fluidly, Jack began to move, slow and gentle, enticing enough to prolong the pleasure but enough for them both to come.
Gritting his teeth to stop from moaning, Jack watched Ianto's face as his eyes drifted closed and his skin flushed even more. Sweat glistened across his forehead and Jack smiled, leaning down to capture his mouth, kissing him deeply as he picked up the pace, Ianto's hand reaching back and digging nails into his thigh making him want to groan loud.
"Oh ... God ... Jack ...." Ianto gasped in a whisper, and he tilted his head back over Jack's shoulder. The Captain couldn't resist but kiss and nip at the soft, white skin of his neck, inhaling the scent of him in a deep breath.
Jack let out a small, stifled cry as they came together, but Ianto was too lost to hear it or to chastise. He became limp in Jack's arms, letting the Captain roll him onto his back to be cleaned off, lazily stroking his hair. Jack kissed the inside of his wrist as he wiped the tissue over Ianto's abdomen, smiling up at him.
"When you mean it," Ianto whispered hoarsely. "I can feel it."
Jack smiled softly, tossing the tissue aside and lying behind him as he rolled on his side again. He spooned into his back, allowing him to pillow his head on his bicep, and watched as Ianto drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
He stroked his hair for a while, watched his eyes moving behind his eyelids, wondering what he was dreaming about. With a smile he finally settled, closing his own eyes and falling asleep, curled around the man he loved.
Tired ... so ... tired ... why do I insist on writing such long, plotty, smutty chapters?
Comments are love! Especially since I'm ill!
I have asthma ... *arrgh can't breath!* <<< see.
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Chapter: 12 | ??
Characters: Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Author:
a_silver_storyGenre Alternate Universe, Romance
Rating: NC-17 just to be safe.
Warnings: A bit of angst, and some tentacles and d/c in the future.
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Ianto finds himself heartbroken and alone, but eventually learns that no matter what point in Captain Jack Harkness' life he finds himself, they will always fall in love.
Torchwood Index/Masterlist
First Part
Another Life
Another Life XII
Climbing all the way up the stairs just to go back down them again wasn’t how Ianto really wanted to spend the best part of twenty minutes, but he didn’t complain as he met Jack and the Doctor outside the office and then followed them down to the ground floor. He pulled his jacket around him as they began to descend the stairs into the basement, the temperature seemingly dropping with each step down. Jack was staring straight ahead, saying nothing, and the Doctor stared at his plimsolls as he walked, hands in his pockets and solemn-faced.
The tension made Ianto want to scream. He was on the verge of ripping his hair out and shouting at them to just tell him what was going on. Just as he opened his mouth, he found his breath catching in his throat as a mournful wail pierced the still air.
Ianto recognised it from when he had come down to check there was space for lifts and Jack had wandered down the steps, and just like that time the cry became louder and more pained the closer the Captain seemed to get. Ianto shivered again, though this time not from the cold. The wail was unearthly and distant, but Ianto was fairly certain it belonged to a human being.
Jack and the Doctor lead him to the reinforced door of the main room, and it slid open and allowed them entrance to the darkness beyond.
“Ready?” asked the Doctor.
Ianto frowned at him, and nodded, noticing how Jack shrank away from them. The Doctor buzzed his sonic screwdriver and the lights flickered on, the wailing stopped, and Ianto bit back a panicked shout when he saw what was in the room.
There were a few tables cluttered with all sorts of junk and debris – nothing that Ianto could identify – and a large box-shaped object sitting underneath it covered by a piece of black cloth. There was a frame on the wall, facing away so that the back of it was on display, and a couple of strange stands sprouting antennae dotted around. It was what was standing in the far corner that turned Ianto's blood cold.
It was a Cyberman.
Perhaps a little evolved and slightly different from the Cybermen at Canary Wharf, and from what Ianto could tell from its stillness and dark, hollow eyes it was probably dead. He stared at the metal man, shrinking back from it as his post-trauma reactions began to take over, bile rose in his throat and the urge to run away gripped him.
“What’s that doing here?” he rasped, pointing at it.
“Jack pulled it apart. He used some bits of technology from it.”
Ianto couldn’t take his eyes from it, stumbling backwards and finding the wall behind him. “What technology?”
The Doctor waited for Jack to speak.
“I ... I needed the ... I needed the Emotional Inhibitor.”
“Emotional Inhibitor ...” Ianto repeated. “No ... no ... you can’t have ... It didn’t work. You’re not like them. You’re not.”
He began to sink to the floor, hardly registering that he couldn’t hold his own weight up anymore.
“I altered it. I made it more ... specific.”
Ianto stared at the Cyberman still, unable to look at Jack, unable to tear his eyes from the monstrous things the technology inside that once robot could do. “I ... I c-can’t ....” he stuttered, fighting back his tears and the urge to vomit. “The ... the wailing ... that was the ... the Cyberman?”
“No.” Jack replied hoarsely.
“What was it?” demanded Ianto. “Tell me exactly what’s going on!”
“The ... Emotional Inhibitor ... it’s a component of a Cyberman. It needs other parts of the Cyber technology in order to be effective, so just removing it made it weaker. It had my body to contend with, as well as my brain. I developed it and ... it still wasn’t strong enough so ... I had to increase the power to it in order for it to ... run my upgrades.”
“No ...” Ianto shook his head. “You wouldn’t ... you wouldn’t do this ... you wouldn’t ... you haven’t ... I know you feel ... I know you feel ....”
The Doctor remained silent in the corner, watching Jack try and explain himself while Ianto crouched with one hand on the wall, one hand by his mouth and his eyes fixed firmly on the Cyberman.
“It still wasn’t enough.” Jack continued. “It needed more.”
“More what?” spat Ianto. “More upgrades?”
“It needed more of me.”
“How much of your body has been infested with that ... that wrongness?” glowered Ianto, though his eyes were still fixed on the metal man. “And what about ... what about the rest of this stuff?”
“Things I used and tried and tested. Most of it is fried or broken. In the end, it was quite a complicated process.”
The Doctor cut in. “But reversible. Completely reversible.”
“You can ... you can take it out and you’ll be ... you’ll be human again? You’ll be cured? Not a Cyberman anymore?” Ianto asked softly, finally taking his eyes away from the inanimate suit and looking up at Jack.
“I was never a Cyberman.” insisted Jack. “I am not now – nor never will be – a Cyberman.”
The Doctor had told him that Ianto knew what Cybermen were, but hadn’t gone into any other details. He said that Ianto would probably tell him in his own time now, and he should be ashamed of himself once he knew the whole story. Judging from Ianto's reaction, however, Jack deemed Ianto's experience of Cybermen extended beyond history textbooks.
“What are you then?” asked Ianto, shakily standing and using the wall for support.
“I’m incomplete.”
Ianto's eyes widened.
“I meant ... I’m not whole.” Jack rephrased, realising he’d said the wrong thing. “I had to take part of myself out rather than ... put something in.”
“Explain.” Ianto demanded, still leaning with his hand on the wall as if standing on his own was too much to ask right now.
“The Inhibitor needed something smaller to work with, so I gave it something smaller. In my ... old age ... I ... I grew a very strong telepathic ability. In the end ... I gave it a thought-form.”
“You ... you thought ... you ... you took an abstract aspect of yourself and thought it into existence?”
Jack nodded, secretly pleased that Ianto understood and caught on to what was going on.
“What aspect?” sniffed Ianto, though he probably didn’t need to ask. He just wanted Jack to say it. Guilt was obviously something he hadn’t considered running through the Inhibitor.
“My ... my ability to ... I put the part of me that can fall in love into a thought-form, imprisoned it and blocked its telepathic waves with the Emotional Inhibitor. And since then I haven’t even felt anything other than lust.”
“And guilt.” Ianto added bitterly, and froze as the wail sounded again from the far wall. “What’s that?” he asked, pointing at the frame hung to face away.
The Doctor stepped forward solemnly. “Stolen Timelord technology. We used them to transport a single prisoner over long distances.”
Ianto's eyes darted between them, and he began to walk briskly towards the hanging frame. It was taller and broader than he was, but it spun on the string holding to to the wall easily and weighed hardly anything. He gasped in disgust when he saw what it was.
It was like a mirror. Ianto could see his own reflection in it clearly, as well as the reflection of the room behind him. The only difference was the mirror showed a very weak, decrepit, hunched and depressed Captain Jack Harkness huddled in the corner of the frame. His cheeks were tear-streaked, his eyes red and his muscular frame weedy and neglected. He saw Ianto, and started scratching and clawing at the glass separating them, wailing balefully as fresh tears leaked out.
Ianto stared, transfixed.
"If I let him out, you will become one again." Ianto murmured, reaching out and touching the mirror. Jack's thought-form tried to touch back, tracing his finger over where Ianto's had been, desperate for contact. His blue eyes were dead and pained.
"We will." Jack conceded, stepping forward.
"You will feel what he's feeling." Ianto observed.
"Yes." Jack uttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I can't ... I can't ... you ... are you going to ... ?"
"Am I going to let him out?" asked Jack.
Ianto nodded, aware of the Captain walking up very close behind him, resting his hands on his shoulders.
"It depends on you." Jack said quietly. "I'll feel everything he's feeling. All that loneliness, grief, loss and abandonment."
"But there's the good things, too."
"The bad last longer than the good."
"I know. But I would never give up being love."
"If ... if we ... if I let him ... if I let myself ... you won't ... you won't leave me? Because the Doctor can take you back right now and I could just ... just carry on. You can go back to a Jack that will love you and ... forget about me."
"I stay and take care of you, you'll save yourself from this?"
Jack nodded as their eyes met in the mirror, and Ianto turned to face him, unable to look at Jack's imprisoned thought-form any longer.
"Even if I were to go back," Ianto began. "I couldn't ever, ever just forget about you. I can't just move on and pretend like we never knew each other, running into the arms of another man just because ... because he's maybe not going to be such hard work." Ianto gave a small laugh, but Jack remained serious, his eyes searching Ianto's face. Ianto became serious again. He touched their foreheads together and sighed. "I have a life here, Jack. And you're such a big part of it. But this ... this is ... I can't believe you would do this ...."
"I just needed a ... an escape from the pain ...." Jack sniffed, his voice cracking. "I needed it to go away."
"Becoming ... becoming like a Cyberman isn't the answer ...."
"Then what is?"
"That's the point." smiled Ianto. "No one knows. You can come through this pain, Jack."
"And what about when you're gone?"
"You'll find someone else, and you can share and heal with them."
"I'm scared, Ianto."
"I know ... but ... I ... I don't know if ...." Ianto closed his eyes, trying to think, aware of the Doctor watching them both closely. "I promise I'll look after you."
"You ... you will?"
"I will ... believe it or not, I think I might have had trickier relationships."
Jack bit his lip, sliding his eyes from Ianto's gaze to the mirror. "Do we do it now?" he asked, his voice low.
"Can you think of a good reason to put it off?"
"I ... left the iron on?"
"You don't even know where the iron is." smiled Ianto. He turned, and saw the strangest mix of hope and fear manifested in the thought-form's gaze at it watched them carefully, crouched as if it wanted to spring and wrap itself around Ianto and never let go. "How do we do it?" Ianto asked.
"Just break it." the Doctor told them, and Jack reached for one of the antennae-covered stands. He took a deep breath, raised it over his head and swung it down ...
... hesitating at the last moment and freezing mere inches from the glass.
"I ... I can't do it ...."
Ianto took the stand from him. "I bloody can."
He moved himself into position, and the Doctor was certain he heard him mutter something about the Cybermen not 'stealing Jack, too'. In one powerful swing, the glass of the Timelord mirror shattered, splintering out a web of cracks over the icy surface that eventually loosened and crumpled. The thought-form disappeared in a whirl of yellow and white energy, and Jack suddenly doubled over, grasping Ianto for support and making him stumble.
Ianto put the stand down, carefully navigating himself and Jack away from the shards of mirror and positioning them so that Ianto couldn't see the Cyberman in the corner. "Jack?" he whispered, the Doctor coming over as he hid his face, taking out the sonic screwdriver and buzzing away.
Jack was crying. "Just ... just take me back upstairs, Ianto ...."
"He's all there." nodded the Doctor solemnly.
"Help me with him."
Ianto guided Jack and the Doctor back up to the office, attracting a couple of strange looks from passers by as to Jack's unresponsive state. Once inside, the Doctor left them alone, giving Ianto a small nod.
"C'mon ... let's go downstairs." Ianto urged, leading the way. He sat Jack down on the sofa in Jack's living room and went into the kitchen to prepare coffee. Carefully he carried it through and set the mugs on the coffee table, settling himself close to Jack but not trying to crowd him. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
Jack stared at the floor, desolate and unresponsive.
"Jack?" Ianto murmured quietly, putting an arm around his shoulders. Jack registered the contact, and turned his head to meet Ianto's gaze. He raised a hand and rested it in the crook of Ianto's neck, running his thumb along the jawline and feeling the soft hairs beneath his fingers contrasting to the rough stubble starting to pepper Ianto's chin. He smiled slightly, his eyes glistening, his line of sight dropping to Ianto's soft, pink lips. Ianto parted them in invitation, and Jack took it.
Enfolding Ianto in his arms and holding him tight, Jack claimed his mouth and delved his tongue deep, exploring and stroking as Ianto kissed him back feverishly. The Captain was practically clinging to him, his breath catching, his fingers digging in where they held Ianto in his safe embrace.
"Stay here tonight." he whispered when they broke apart, his head resting on Ianto's shoulder.
"I will." Ianto assured him. The Captain sniffed and wiped his eyes, and Ianto stroked his hair the way Jack would his. They sat still for a while, holding each other, and Ianto wondered at what the future might hold for them.
He wasn't quite so naive as to think he'd ever had a fully emotionally committed relationship with Jack before - even back in the twenty-first century - and now he was unsure what it would bring if Jack was to openly love him now.
Breathing deeply, he relaxed and just enjoyed holding Jack while he could.
"Ah! There you are! I was starting to think you'd forgotten." Rhys grinned when Ianto returned to the flat that evening to get a change of clothes.
"Hm?"
"My night out, remember?"
"Oh ... oh yeah ... buggeration ...."
Rhys' expression turned serious. "What?"
"The Captain's ... had a breakdown ...."
Rhys folded his arms.
"Rhys ...."
"I promised Till I'd take her out tonight. If I don't pull through on that promise, she isn't going to look my way twice! Bring the Captain here."
"I can't. He's a wreck!"
Rhys threw his arms up in exasperation, turning away from Ianto to find where he'd just put his boxed cufflinks. Ianto looked him up and down distastefully.
"... you're not seriously going out on a date dressed like that, are you?"
"Why? Hoping I'll stay in instead?"
"No. I just think you'd want a first date to lead to a second. Dressed like that ... it's not."
"You're staying?"
"I'll bring the Captain over here. Or take Giacomo over to his. If I tell a little lie and make him go to bed straight away I'm sure it won't be quite so stressful. And you should be wearing dress trousers with that shirt. Those jeans and the jacket on the door I assume you're planning on wearing will make you look like a walking mid-life crisis."
Rhys sniggered. "You think so? I'll change ...."
"Ianto!" chirruped a little voice, and Giacomo came barelling out of his bedroom full of beans. "I had home school! I learnt how to wash up!"
"Did you like washing up?" Ianto asked, amused.
Little Jack nodded vigorously. "Yeah!"
"I promise you can do it every night, then."
Rhys laughed. "It's not child labour if he enjoys it, right?"
"Right!"
"So ... Ianto ... why don't you tell Jack about the arrangements tonight?"
Ianto cleared his throat and lifted Giacomo up.
"You should stop carrying him." Rhys commented. "One, you'll do your back in. And two: he's too old to be treated like a baby."
Ianto did a silent impression of Rhys that basically boiled down to him mouthing 'blah blah blah!' behind his back. Giacomo giggled and raised his finger to his lips.
Rhys turned and gave them an odd look, but Ianto and Little Jack were the picture of innocence. With an eye-roll he wandered off to get changed.
"Anyway," remembered Ianto. "Tonight ... the Captain might be coming over while Rhys is out with Till. He's going to help out looking after you."
Giacomo buried his head in Ianto's shoulder. "I'm scared of the Captain."
"Don't worry, love." smiled Rhys, ruffling his hair as he returned from getting his jeans changed and Ianto's back began to complain. "I bet he'll be your new favourite person by the time you have to go to bed. Now: how do I look?"
"Suave." Ianto decided on. "I well bet she'll snog you. Do you think he'll get a snog, Jack?"
"Eughwwwweewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Giacomo squealed, screwing up his face. Ianto gave in and put him down, his back loving the relief of no longer having an extra little person to support. "You're gonna girl germs!"
Rhys laughed. "I doubt it." he sheepishly muttered, slipping his jacket on over the shirt.
"Hang on ...." Ianto interrupted before he could make it out the door. "There we go ...." he grinned, pulling the top few button's of Rhys' shirt open. "Much better!"
"I'm not so keen on flashing my tits." Rhys deadpanned, and Ianto laughed, waving him out the door. He closed it behind him and leant on it.
He shut his eyes, silently panicking. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit ...." he chanted.
"Ommmmm!" exclaimed Giacomo from somewhere near his hip, and Ianto jumped, forgetting that Giacomo was both there and was not supposed to be hearing 'bad language'.
"Sorry," Ianto sighed. "Just ... worried."
"What about?"
"Nothing ... doesn't matter. Just ... give me a moment alone. I need to make a phone call."
He went into his bedroom, leaving the door open ajar so that he could still half-listen for Giacomo, and quickly called the Captain's number.
"Hi, Jack. It's me. I ... there's been a slight change of plan. I can't stay at yours tonight. I need to look after Giacomo, so I thought ... maybe you could come over here instead. No, not later ... now. You need to eat, and I'm cooking. He won't be any bother and if he is I can just put him to bed ... I know ... I know it will be hard for you to ... to face him. I can't leave him on his own here, though ... Jack? ... yeah ... okay ... okay ... I'll see you in ten minutes?"
Ianto hung up the phone, sighing heavily.
Jack had his reservations - it was more than expected. He needed Ianto tonight, though, and would hold himself together enough to see through spending time with his estranged son. Ianto prayed a disaster wouldn't happen, but then realised there wasn't too much reason why it would - aside from Jack getting too emotional and falling apart if he realised what he'd lost by giving his children away.
Worry gripped Ianto, and he sat on the bed staring into space so long he jumped when the knocks sounded on the door. He got up to answer it, and found the Captain on the other side, looking his usual happy-go-lucky and flirty self. Smiling broadly as he crossed the threshold, he gave Ianto a strong hug and squeeze, nearly crushing him so tight he couldn't breathe.
"Giacomo?" Ianto called, and spied a messy tuft of hair retreating behind the sofa. "He's shy." Ianto explained.
"Giacomo?" Jack tried. "Are you hiding, kid?"
Ianto leaned over the sofa, reaching an arm down to stroke Little Jack's hair. "Just come out and say 'hello'. He doesn't bite, I promise."
Giacomo bit his lip, and shakily got to his feet to peer over the couch at the Captain.
"Hey." Jack breathed softly. "You okay, little man?"
Giacomo nodded. "Please to meet you!" he said loudly, then ducked behind the settee again.
Ianto left him, sitting on the couch and patting the cushion next to him, indicating Jack should sit down. The Captain faltered slightly, but sat down gingerly. "Don't worry," he smiled. "I'm sure he'll come out when he's hungry."
Ianto smiled back. "Especially if it's his favourite for tea."
"Gammon?" asked a quick voice from behind the couch.
"Did you hear something, Captain?"
"Nope. Can't say I did."
"Did you hear anything, Giacomo?" Ianto said, turning to peer over the back of the couch where he was still huddled and hugging his knees.
"Are we having gammon for tea, Daddy?" he asked, giving an impish grin after the honorific. Ianto blinked, and he was sure he felt Jack stiffen beside him.
"Only if you come out and stop being silly." Ianto offered, and Little Jack gave him a wounded look. "C'mon, Jack. Come and sit up here with me and the Captain."
His eyes slid over to where the Captain himself had turned around to have a look, watching him with sky blue eyes and an affectionate smile. On all fours he scurried out from the sofa, stood and did a running jump onto Ianto, hiding his face in his chest.
It was only there for a fraction of a second, but Ianto was sure he saw a shadow flicker across Jack's face. He supposed it must hurt to see his own child see him as a big, scary stranger whom he could hardly look at.
"Hey, kid." he tried. "Really, I'm shy of you too. I just pretend I'm not."
Giacomo glanced over at him with the one eye that wasn't hidden in the folds of Ianto's jacket. "Really?"
"Yeah. But if you just force yourself to say 'hello' and pretend you're not shy, you won't be. Why don't you stop hiding and practice?"
"Go on." smiled Ianto when Giacomo gazed up at him for approval.
Giacomo cleared his throat and turned a little, his cheeks turning a reddish-pink. "I'm Giacomo. Pleased to meet you, sir." he mumbled, offering his hand for the Captain to shake. Jack took it gently and shook it slightly before it was withdrawn again.
"No," agreed Ianto. "So ... shall we play one of your games, Jack?"
"Huh?" frowned the Captain, probably thinking his 'games' wouldn't be suitable for Giacomo.
"Not you! Me!" sniffed Little Jack.
"Ohhhh. Okay ... it's just my name is 'Jack', too."
"You're called 'The Captain'."
"I'm called 'Captain Jack'."
"Can I be a Captain when I grow up?"
Ianto cut in. "You're going no where near the army, the navy, the marines or the air force. I'll buy you a toy boat and you can be Captain of that, okay?"
"Wrapping him in cotton wool?" smirked Jack. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Little Jack?"
"I wanna beeeeeeee ...." thought Giacomo. ".... ermmmmm .... aaaaa ... I wanna be in charge!"
"In charge of what?"
"Everything!"
"Uh oh ...." sighed Ianto. "Maybe we should have him screened to make sure he doesn't turn into an evil genius, hell bent on taking over the Universe?"
"Or give him extra lessons and turn him into one? If we help him along the way, when he gets to the top he might be kind enough to remember us and give us lots of money, power and women."
"I can definitely see that life-plan working." nodded Ianto, and he and the Captain laughed while Giacomo looked up at them confused. "Anyway, I need to start cooking dinner. Maybe nibble on some biscuits along the way ...."
At the promise of sugar, Jack and Giacomo followed him - Giacomo half hidden behind his leg as he walked, remembering to be shy of the Captain. When they got in the kitchen, he sat where he did while Rhys was cooking, by the opposite wall to the oven and hob and out of the way. The Captain sat beside him, not too close, but Giacomo didn't run away so he made himself comfortable.
Ianto fiddled with the dials on the oven, then growled. "I forgot - we need a new oven. Takeaway, anyone?"
"You said we were having gammon, though." pouted Giacomo.
"The oven's broken, love."
"I want gammon, though. You do gammon in the pan."
"The hob is part of the oven. So unless we microwave the meat, we're having takeaway."
"I vote takeaway." shrugged the Captain, getting to his feet.
"But you said though!"
"We can still get you gammon, Giacomo. I just won't be cooking it."
His pout receded a little, until he sullenly nodded his head, getting up and going to hide again behind Ianto's leg.
"Giacomo ...." Ianto groaned as he tried to get to the phone.
After nearly two hours, Giacomo began to relax properly, giggling like his usual cheeky self and chatting with the Captain like he would Ianto or Rhys. Ianto supposed he had taken to him eventually because they had 'so much in common', but was still wary of the shadows that occasionally passed over Jack's face every time Little Jack called Ianto 'Daddy' or chose to sit closer to him or asked him questions first.
Ianto managed to make him get to bed more or less on time and trouble-free, and let Jack read to him while he went to clear up their things from the meals they'd had delivered. He loitered in the doorway to Giacomo's room, listening to Jack's soothing tone and smiling as Giacomo hung on his every word until he couldn't keep his eyes open. Sure he was asleep, the Captain closed the book and set it on the bookshelf, unsure where it went.
"Middle shelf." Ianto pointed, and Jack gave a small smile and moved it. Quietly they withdrew from the room, closing the door behind them. Finally alone, Jack sagged into Ianto's arms and squeezed him tightly.
"Oh! Sorry!" exclaimed Rhys' voice behind them, and they broke apart shushing him.
"We just got him off to sleep!" Ianto stage-whispered, then frowned. "I didn't expect you back yet ...."
"Forgot ... something." mumbled Rhys.
Jack leant forward and whispered in Ianto's ear. "Condoms."
Ianto sniggered as Rhys bustled past them and into his room, emerging a couple of seconds later with his hand in his back pocket, tucking something inside. Jack and Ianto grinned at him and bade him goodbye again.
"My 'lil Rhys," sighed Ianto. "going out, getting girls ...."
"Mmmm." agreed Jack. He rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder. "We need to talk."
Ianto took him to his bedroom, and sat cross-legged on the bed while Jack cast his eye over the room.
"Very neat." he said eventually, sitting opposite him and resting his hands on Ianto's knees.
"Where do you want to start?" Ianto asked softly, covering Jack's hands with his own and squeezing reassuringly. Jack shrugged. "Well ... how do you feel?" he tried, moving some stray hair out of the Captain's eyes.
"I feel ... I ... I feel more alive than I've done in years." he admitted. "Even with the pain. But ... you're right. There's good as well. I ... thanks. If it wasn't for you ...."
Ianto glanced away. "The Doctor would have made you do it. I think ... I think he just thought ... I don't know. He maybe thought I deserved to know I was having a relationship with another Cyberman."
"I wasn't a Cyberman." Jack insisted.
"It's hard for me to see it in another way." Ianto muttered. "Let's just ... work through it. Can we work through it?"
"Of course we can." smiled Jack. "Can I kiss you again?"
"You don't need to ask!" blushed Ianto, allowing himself to be pulled down as Jack lay back on the bed, their mouths ghosting together before the Captain cupped the back of his head and forced him closer.
Ianto moaned into Jack's mouth as hands roamed over his body, and he arched into the Captain's touch, pushing them closer together and making Jack moan in return. His mouth moved from Ianto's lips to his neck, fingers moving to slip buttons from their holes and touch the bared skin below.
"Jack ..." Ianto breathed, his eyes fluttering closed under the Captain's attentions. "Jack ... wait ....."
"What's wrong?" asked Jack, his tone a little worried.
"Well ... Giacomo's in like ... the room across the hall."
"We'll have to be quiet then." he whispered, as if to demonstrate.
"Mmm ... okay ...." Ianto agreed. "... but ... are we ready for this now?"
"Why wouldn't we be?"
"It's ... different now."
"That's ... that's why I wanted to do it."
Ianto smiled softly. "Okay. But ... remember to be quiet ...."
Jack leant down and kissed him again, gentle and soothing. They carefully began to undress each other, eventually knelt upright in the middle of the bed, locked in a firm embrace as they kissed and brushed their erections together, gasping quietly and stifling moans. Breaking apart, Jack leant down and tugged back the covers, pulling Ianto down to lie under them with him, their eyes dark and their breath coming in deep waves.
Jack spooned into Ianto's back, kissing his neck and his shoulder. Ianto raised his arms, gripping the pillow his head was resting on as he curled his legs to make his hips push back into Jack's groin. With a shiver of pleasure, the Captain slid his hand up between Ianto's thighs, pushing two gel-covered fingers inside him. Taking his time, listening to the way Ianto's breathing changed and hitched, Jack finally removed his fingers and began pushing himself inside.
Ianto bit down on the duvet and Jack bit down on Ianto's shoulder. They hushed each other, sweating and glistening as they lay together, one inside the other. Ianto was panting, reaching an arm behind him to run down the back of Jack's thigh. Fluidly, Jack began to move, slow and gentle, enticing enough to prolong the pleasure but enough for them both to come.
Gritting his teeth to stop from moaning, Jack watched Ianto's face as his eyes drifted closed and his skin flushed even more. Sweat glistened across his forehead and Jack smiled, leaning down to capture his mouth, kissing him deeply as he picked up the pace, Ianto's hand reaching back and digging nails into his thigh making him want to groan loud.
"Oh ... God ... Jack ...." Ianto gasped in a whisper, and he tilted his head back over Jack's shoulder. The Captain couldn't resist but kiss and nip at the soft, white skin of his neck, inhaling the scent of him in a deep breath.
Jack let out a small, stifled cry as they came together, but Ianto was too lost to hear it or to chastise. He became limp in Jack's arms, letting the Captain roll him onto his back to be cleaned off, lazily stroking his hair. Jack kissed the inside of his wrist as he wiped the tissue over Ianto's abdomen, smiling up at him.
"When you mean it," Ianto whispered hoarsely. "I can feel it."
Jack smiled softly, tossing the tissue aside and lying behind him as he rolled on his side again. He spooned into his back, allowing him to pillow his head on his bicep, and watched as Ianto drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
He stroked his hair for a while, watched his eyes moving behind his eyelids, wondering what he was dreaming about. With a smile he finally settled, closing his own eyes and falling asleep, curled around the man he loved.
Tired ... so ... tired ... why do I insist on writing such long, plotty, smutty chapters?
Comments are love! Especially since I'm ill!
I have asthma ... *arrgh can't breath!* <<< see.
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