Silver (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
a_silver_story) wrote2009-05-27 04:46 am
a_silver_story) wrote2009-05-27 04:46 am
Torchwood IMs: Ianto and Gwen's IMs
Title: Ianto and Gwen's IMs
Chapter: One Shot
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness, Toshiko Sato
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
a_silver_story
Genre: Humour
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied M/M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: When, exactly, did Ianto start gossiping like a barmaid on speed?
GWEN: Hey Ianto. Hows u?
IANTO: Fine thanks. Yourself?
GWEN: Fine. You’re up late.
IANTO: So are you.
GWEN: lol
IANTO: Too much coffee?
GWEN: Nahhhh. You can never have too much coffee!
GWEN: Rhys is snoring like a broken Dyson.
IANTO: Poke him ‘til he rolls over on to his side.
GWEN: brb
IANTO: kk
GWEN: Back
IANTO: Well?
GWEN: I poked him too far. He fell out of bed.
IANTO: Haha!!
IANTO: Is he alright, or should I call an ambulance?
GWEN: He’s fine. The bedside table didn’t take it too well though. Looks like I’m off to IKEA on Saturday.
IANTO: No you’re not. It’s UNIT on Saturday. You then have Sunday booked off to visit Rhys’ parents, and Monday is back to work.
GWEN: Oh no! ¬_¬ Sometimes I wish you didn’t know everything.
IANTO: I believe the appropriate response is: ^_^
GWEN: When’s my next day off?
IANTO: 3 weeks.
GWEN: Meh.
IANTO: I have to go and get Jack’s dry cleaning tomorrow morning. I could pop by IKEA for you if you like?
GWEN: IKEA is a little bit out of the way from the dry cleaners, Ianto. You really don’t have to.
IANTO: Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I love getting lost in that endless world of furniture and efficient storage and organization solutions!
GWEN: *rolls eyes* You and your sarcasm.
IANTO: ... That wasn’t sarcasm. I really do love Swedish storage solutions.
GWEN: I bet you love going to the café and getting your tongue on some lovely Swedish meat balls ;)
IANTO: *sighs* ahh Gwen, please leave the terrible innuendos to Jack.
GWEN: In your end-o!
IANTO: … congratu-welldone. You did a play on words. *pats on head*
GWEN: On the subject of Jack …
IANTO: Uh-oh
GWEN: How’s it going with you two?
IANTO: How do you want it to be going?
GWEN: I want it to be going well!
IANTO: How well?
GWEN: As well as it could?
IANTO: And, in your opinion, how well could it possibly be going?
GWEN: Perfectly?
IANTO: Could you define perfectly?
GWEN: Are you going to answer every single one of my questions with another question?
IANTO: Depends. How many more questions are you going to ask?
GWEN: I’m an ex-policewoman. I can ask questions ‘til the cows come home!
IANTO: … and what if the cows are already home?
GWEN: Oh, come on Ianto! I only asked how it was going!
IANTO: After I tell you, you’ll start asking more questions. That I won’t answer.
GWEN: Fine.
IANTO: Good.
GWEN: Is he a good kisser?
IANTO: You tell me.
GWEN: I’ve never kissed him.
IANTO: Never?
GWEN: Nope.
IANTO: What’s wrong with you? :^P
GWEN: I’ve been wondering that too!
IANTO: Seriously, though. You’ve never even tried?
GWEN: Nope. Neither has he.
IANTO: Are you an alien that sucks life out immortals? Sorry, but you have a post code and you’re also breathing. I honestly can’t think why he wouldn’t try and kiss you.
GWEN: Maybe it’s because he has you.
IANTO: Leave the innuendo to Jack, and the sarcasm to me.
GWEN: lol.
GWEN: You know I was being serious.
IANTO: Did it stop him from kissing John? Or Martha?
GWEN: I suppose not. But when Martha kissed him, he did look really awkward. He looked straight at you, I thought.
IANTO: I decided to look away when I saw her go for it.
GWEN: Why?
IANTO: Because it would’ve hurt my poor wittul feewings.
GWEN: *hugs* Do you tell him it hurts your feelings?
IANTO: I used to. He listens, but when it comes to it he forgets himself.
GWEN: I wouldn’t put up with it.
IANTO: Oh you so would.
GWEN: If the sex was amazing enough.
IANTO: “lol”
GWEN: Is it?
IANTO: What’s “it”?
GWEN: Is the sex with Jack amazing enough?
IANTO: What kind of bedside table was it you wanted?
GWEN: Oh, Ianto! Loosen up!
IANTO: It’s not a question of being tight or loose, Gwen! I don’t know if you’re ever noticed, but I’m quite a private person. If I wanted to broadcast to the world about my sex life, I’d start a blog.
GWEN: I’d read it.
IANTO: So would Jack – if only for the vanity’s sake.
GWEN: Maybe you should start one.
IANTO: I have my diary. That’s as public as it’s going.
GWEN: Then I’ll have to steal your diary and learn all you secrets ;)
IANTO: No you bloody won’t! It wouldn’t matter if you managed to steal it anyway: after an incident with Jack six months ago, I’ve put a DNA recognition lock on it.
GWEN: … Jack read your diary?
IANTO: Yep.
GWEN: I bet you didn’t hear the end of that for months!
IANTO: He hasn’t mentioned it since.
GWEN: REALLY? I’d have never let you off hee hee!
GWEN: He seriously said nothing? Was it bad?
IANTO: Of course he didn’t say nothing. He said one thing. That was it; and no I won’t tell you what it was.
GWEN: Oh pleeeeeeease! *bats eyes*
IANTO: Oh fine. I think I’m overtired enough to lose some more of my dignity to you.
GWEN: Oh yay! BTW, the Hothouse Discovery was one of the funniest days of my life.
IANTO: … and that statement just lost you permission to know the one thing that Jack said to me about my diary after he read it.
GWEN: I’m sorry Ianto! It was funny though. And I promise I never, ever told anyone.
IANTO: Yeah right. You Facebooked it the second you got a moment alone with you PDA.
GWEN: Stop knowing everything. Just tell me the one thing Jack said pretty please
IANTO: Alright. As long as you stop starting sentences with “And”. The word “and” is a connective, and if it is to be used as the beginning of a sentence it must be prefixed with ellipsis.
GWEN: What’s “ellipsis”>
IANTO: The three little dots used to indicate a long pause, or the four dots used to complete an incomplete sentence.
GWEN: Ahhh right. Ok, I promise to stop starting sentences with “and”. What did Jack say?
IANTO: He said:
IANTO: “The measuring tape never lies”.
GWEN: *guh*
IANTO: Happy?
GWEN: What were you measuring?
IANTO: What kind of bedside table did you want, again?
GWEN: Hehe. Got you! Malm, please.
IANTO: What colour?
GWEN: The palest one.
IANTO: Okie dokie.
IANTO has left the conversation
IANTO has entered the conversation
TOSHIKO has entered the conversation
IANTO: Gwen?
GWEN: Yep?
IANTO: If you promise not to tell Owen, you can join mine and Tosh’s Weekly Coffee Gossip.
TOSHIKO: Wednesday afternoon. While Jack does his paperwork.
GWEN: :S so you’ll gossip in a coffee shop, but not online?
IANTO: Hell no!
TOSHIKO: Never know who might be monitoring.
IANTO: Yahuh!
GWEN: Who’d be monitoring MSN at four in the morning?
JACK: You’d be surprised.
GWEN has left the conversation
TOSHIKO has left the conversation
IANTO: … bollocks.
Next Part | a_silver_story's FanFic Index
Chapter: One Shot
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness, Toshiko Sato
Author:
a_silver_storyGenre: Humour
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied M/M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: When, exactly, did Ianto start gossiping like a barmaid on speed?
GWEN: Hey Ianto. Hows u?
IANTO: Fine thanks. Yourself?
GWEN: Fine. You’re up late.
IANTO: So are you.
GWEN: lol
IANTO: Too much coffee?
GWEN: Nahhhh. You can never have too much coffee!
GWEN: Rhys is snoring like a broken Dyson.
IANTO: Poke him ‘til he rolls over on to his side.
GWEN: brb
IANTO: kk
GWEN: Back
IANTO: Well?
GWEN: I poked him too far. He fell out of bed.
IANTO: Haha!!
IANTO: Is he alright, or should I call an ambulance?
GWEN: He’s fine. The bedside table didn’t take it too well though. Looks like I’m off to IKEA on Saturday.
IANTO: No you’re not. It’s UNIT on Saturday. You then have Sunday booked off to visit Rhys’ parents, and Monday is back to work.
GWEN: Oh no! ¬_¬ Sometimes I wish you didn’t know everything.
IANTO: I believe the appropriate response is: ^_^
GWEN: When’s my next day off?
IANTO: 3 weeks.
GWEN: Meh.
IANTO: I have to go and get Jack’s dry cleaning tomorrow morning. I could pop by IKEA for you if you like?
GWEN: IKEA is a little bit out of the way from the dry cleaners, Ianto. You really don’t have to.
IANTO: Oh, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I love getting lost in that endless world of furniture and efficient storage and organization solutions!
GWEN: *rolls eyes* You and your sarcasm.
IANTO: ... That wasn’t sarcasm. I really do love Swedish storage solutions.
GWEN: I bet you love going to the café and getting your tongue on some lovely Swedish meat balls ;)
IANTO: *sighs* ahh Gwen, please leave the terrible innuendos to Jack.
GWEN: In your end-o!
IANTO: … congratu-welldone. You did a play on words. *pats on head*
GWEN: On the subject of Jack …
IANTO: Uh-oh
GWEN: How’s it going with you two?
IANTO: How do you want it to be going?
GWEN: I want it to be going well!
IANTO: How well?
GWEN: As well as it could?
IANTO: And, in your opinion, how well could it possibly be going?
GWEN: Perfectly?
IANTO: Could you define perfectly?
GWEN: Are you going to answer every single one of my questions with another question?
IANTO: Depends. How many more questions are you going to ask?
GWEN: I’m an ex-policewoman. I can ask questions ‘til the cows come home!
IANTO: … and what if the cows are already home?
GWEN: Oh, come on Ianto! I only asked how it was going!
IANTO: After I tell you, you’ll start asking more questions. That I won’t answer.
GWEN: Fine.
IANTO: Good.
GWEN: Is he a good kisser?
IANTO: You tell me.
GWEN: I’ve never kissed him.
IANTO: Never?
GWEN: Nope.
IANTO: What’s wrong with you? :^P
GWEN: I’ve been wondering that too!
IANTO: Seriously, though. You’ve never even tried?
GWEN: Nope. Neither has he.
IANTO: Are you an alien that sucks life out immortals? Sorry, but you have a post code and you’re also breathing. I honestly can’t think why he wouldn’t try and kiss you.
GWEN: Maybe it’s because he has you.
IANTO: Leave the innuendo to Jack, and the sarcasm to me.
GWEN: lol.
GWEN: You know I was being serious.
IANTO: Did it stop him from kissing John? Or Martha?
GWEN: I suppose not. But when Martha kissed him, he did look really awkward. He looked straight at you, I thought.
IANTO: I decided to look away when I saw her go for it.
GWEN: Why?
IANTO: Because it would’ve hurt my poor wittul feewings.
GWEN: *hugs* Do you tell him it hurts your feelings?
IANTO: I used to. He listens, but when it comes to it he forgets himself.
GWEN: I wouldn’t put up with it.
IANTO: Oh you so would.
GWEN: If the sex was amazing enough.
IANTO: “lol”
GWEN: Is it?
IANTO: What’s “it”?
GWEN: Is the sex with Jack amazing enough?
IANTO: What kind of bedside table was it you wanted?
GWEN: Oh, Ianto! Loosen up!
IANTO: It’s not a question of being tight or loose, Gwen! I don’t know if you’re ever noticed, but I’m quite a private person. If I wanted to broadcast to the world about my sex life, I’d start a blog.
GWEN: I’d read it.
IANTO: So would Jack – if only for the vanity’s sake.
GWEN: Maybe you should start one.
IANTO: I have my diary. That’s as public as it’s going.
GWEN: Then I’ll have to steal your diary and learn all you secrets ;)
IANTO: No you bloody won’t! It wouldn’t matter if you managed to steal it anyway: after an incident with Jack six months ago, I’ve put a DNA recognition lock on it.
GWEN: … Jack read your diary?
IANTO: Yep.
GWEN: I bet you didn’t hear the end of that for months!
IANTO: He hasn’t mentioned it since.
GWEN: REALLY? I’d have never let you off hee hee!
GWEN: He seriously said nothing? Was it bad?
IANTO: Of course he didn’t say nothing. He said one thing. That was it; and no I won’t tell you what it was.
GWEN: Oh pleeeeeeease! *bats eyes*
IANTO: Oh fine. I think I’m overtired enough to lose some more of my dignity to you.
GWEN: Oh yay! BTW, the Hothouse Discovery was one of the funniest days of my life.
IANTO: … and that statement just lost you permission to know the one thing that Jack said to me about my diary after he read it.
GWEN: I’m sorry Ianto! It was funny though. And I promise I never, ever told anyone.
IANTO: Yeah right. You Facebooked it the second you got a moment alone with you PDA.
GWEN: Stop knowing everything. Just tell me the one thing Jack said pretty please
IANTO: Alright. As long as you stop starting sentences with “And”. The word “and” is a connective, and if it is to be used as the beginning of a sentence it must be prefixed with ellipsis.
GWEN: What’s “ellipsis”>
IANTO: The three little dots used to indicate a long pause, or the four dots used to complete an incomplete sentence.
GWEN: Ahhh right. Ok, I promise to stop starting sentences with “and”. What did Jack say?
IANTO: He said:
IANTO: “The measuring tape never lies”.
GWEN: *guh*
IANTO: Happy?
GWEN: What were you measuring?
IANTO: What kind of bedside table did you want, again?
GWEN: Hehe. Got you! Malm, please.
IANTO: What colour?
GWEN: The palest one.
IANTO: Okie dokie.
IANTO has left the conversation
IANTO has entered the conversation
TOSHIKO has entered the conversation
IANTO: Gwen?
GWEN: Yep?
IANTO: If you promise not to tell Owen, you can join mine and Tosh’s Weekly Coffee Gossip.
TOSHIKO: Wednesday afternoon. While Jack does his paperwork.
GWEN: :S so you’ll gossip in a coffee shop, but not online?
IANTO: Hell no!
TOSHIKO: Never know who might be monitoring.
IANTO: Yahuh!
GWEN: Who’d be monitoring MSN at four in the morning?
JACK: You’d be surprised.
GWEN has left the conversation
TOSHIKO has left the conversation
IANTO: … bollocks.
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