*sigh* They're even pedaling the Amazingness of da Cooper to the kiddies ..

[a_silver_story]

As many of you know I'm not well. As a result of this my little sister decided to send me some things to cheer me up - these things included some trading cards she got with Doctor Who Adventures magazine. The cards showed the scores for Jack, Ianto and Gwen as follows:


Capt. Jack Harkness:

Defence: 78
Attack: 82

Ianto Jones:

Defence: 84
Attack: 79

Gwen Cooper:

Defence: 85
Attack: 82

All things considered, and comparing her to such cards as The Doctor and The Master etc, this makes her one of the strongest cards in the deck - even stronger than Jack. In fact, a lot stronger than the Jack (the Jack they have chosen is specifically from episodes pre-CoE,[Utopia, TSOD and LOTL] before he was broken) Harkness card, and I've decided not to mention how she is miraculously outranking Ianto on both counts, even though he's proven to work the best under pressure while Gwen stamps her foot and flails (y'know ... before CoE I didn't mind Gwen - now I've somehow become a Gwen basher. I'm getting picky over kids' trading cards ffs ...).

I can't honestly see how they could grade Gwen Cooper as having a stronger defence than The Weeping Angels, either. I mean: okay, so you look at them and they turn to stone, but as the Doctor himself said, you can't kill a stone. Personally I see this as being a much stronger defence mechanism than anything PC Gwen Cooper has ever come up with.

And her Attack score is on par with Jack? WTF? I don't recall her ever coming up with a plan/improvisation/anything resembling an attack other than shouting. Okay, she was a bit 'kick-ass' in CoE, but I thought we agreed that never happened? And that was two blokes in a moving vehicle. Jack stood up to an entire army of Daleks - not to mention his lil trick with the warp star and constantly, actively thinking and doing something to help the situation. Gwen and Ianto sat down and had a nice chat for a few hours - yes they were in a time bubble, but if they could communicate with the outside world clearly somethings could get through, so why weren't they doing *anything* - since Gwen appointed herself as leader (and Ianto called her 'ma'am'. I hate that he called her 'ma'am'. I hope it made her feel OLD.) wouldn't it have been her job to give direction to the survivors? I mean ... sit there and do nothing? No testing the limits of the time bubble (not bursting it obviously) - finding how much of the hub is contained within it, or if it is just the cog door. What resources were available to them? I mean, I'm fairly certain they had the armoury (so why just the machine guns? bleh!)

Okay I'm cutting this short there. I'm sick, I've got pressure on my diaphragm, I've just found out cousins across the pond spell oestrogen 'estrogen', I'm still spewing green goo a la 456, and any second now I shall do as someone previously suggested and demand ten per cent of the BBC's head writers as a 'gift'.

I will then say the idea to harvest 10 per cent of anything while coughing up green goo was totally my idea, and any similarities you see with other works is totally coincidence or homage. Y'know ... because these days the only way you can properly pay a greater piece of work the respect it deserves is to completely rip off the premise and not credit the originator.

Yes, Russell. I'm looking at you. And this is not a look of approval.


... don't make me attack you with my Gwen Cooper card. She is one of the strongest in the pack, and will pwn pretty much anything you can throw at me. Yes ... even the Doctor, with his measly little Defence score of 82 ...

Comments

[jadeaffection.livejournal.com]

Now, I never really hated Gwen... she was always my least favourite character but that's just because I liked the others more. But with CoE and the fact Russell thinks the sun shines out her bum... well, this new piece of information makes me want to hit something. Grrrr!

If any female DW character should be high up then seriously, Donna would kick Gwen's arse up and down the street!

[griza.livejournal.com]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!! Okay, this pisses me off as someone who used to have fun playing cards like this! Gwen is no-where in the league of Ianto and Jack, especially Jack! The woman doens't know what a GPS is and she is suddenly a bad ass? Yeah right!

I can't take this seriously anymore as it's just bloody deluded.

[erikssiren.livejournal.com]

Do not get me started on Gwen. The ranting will never stop. Stupid game. And I agree, Donna would kick Gwen's butt so fast she wouldn't know what hit her. Stupid Gwen. And based on the screaming with gun promos from CoE (the promos are really the only good things about that CoE) Ianto is way more awesome than Gwen. But we already knew all that!

Yes, we spell it "estrogen" and pronounce it "eh-strogen," so I believe I speak for a lot of American fans when I was very confused when "ee-strogen" came out of Jack's American-accented mouth in the first episode, lol.

Feel better really really soon!

[x-starfuckers.livejournal.com]

I'm... actually quite speechless. Is this REAL?

I suppose you could call Gwen the strongest, if the definition of strong is prancing about in a leather jacket and waving a gun around. Not to mention getting yourself kidnapped about 302039 times in the process.

Ugh.

[ella-caramella.livejournal.com]

Oh God! Well, at least they gave enough consideration to Ianto to have him in the cards... as things are going I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by that. I was expecting them to go with Gwen and Jack alone and keeping up with the mindset of 'Ianto... who?'

Yeah, Gwen IS the strongest, given that she's made of teflon and can't be killed. Ever.

[wrenriddle.livejournal.com]

WHAAAAAAAAAT???

whhhhyyyyy... *headdesk*

[zsazsa4168.livejournal.com]

Spent much of the weekend on my Gwen-bashing soapbox, so I'm just gonna say "ditto."

BTW - This side of the pond, we pronounce it "ESS-trogen. Why, we wonder, must you lot add an unnecessary letter and then pronounce it EES-trogen? And can anybody explain ur-EYE-nal? Everytime I hear that I have an olfactory flashback to accidentally walking into a public mens room. Does this mean you also say ur-INE? *shakes head and smirks* Silly English people.

Seriously, though, the green goop is no joke. Are you trying to cure this on the NHS? Our American ingenuity (or do I mean propaganda) indicates this will fail. Perhaps, just this once, we'll be wrong. Your mis-pronouncing minions in the New World pray for your speedy recovery.

[angelkitty101.livejournal.com]

Firstly, I'm with everyone else in agreeing that Donna kicks Cooper arse in this and every scenario! And I think she got the worst end of any companion! Ever!

Secondly I am getting throughly sick of being manipulated into thinking that Gwen is all wonderful and benevolant! This is going to make me think the complete opposite, I am contrary for a reason!!! If the next series of TW is the Gwen Cooper show, I will vote with my remote! Grrrr

Get well soon sweets, at least it's moving rather than staying on your chest!

[magicmalcolm.livejournal.com]

*Sighs*

Yes, thanks, we got the fact that you want us to believe Gwen Cooper is supposedly indestructable already. There is a difference between us rejecting the fact you're pushing Gwen as such and being ignorant of said fact. Quit it already.

Poor Jack's character assassination is continuing in trading card form. It's an almost insulting rating, really.

I'd say Ianto's card is pretty accurate, though.

[kholran.livejournal.com]

Wait, what? That's just not right. But LOL having seen the photo of the cards...

Gwen's expression is all "Hi, I'm awesum! *smugface*"

Jack's is like "WTF is this shit?"

And Ianto's is "I'm surrounded by idiots...can I go home now?" Seriously, if the card could move, it would roll its eyes.

[killedmedead.livejournal.com]

gah! I've never liked Gwen... and now I like her even less... *shakes head*

[nyjen-nejen.livejournal.com]

srsly? WTF?
Ianto could beat Gwen in his sleep!
I HATE RTD!!!

[silverearthelf.livejournal.com]

Ok while this pisses me off, because once again they have made Gwen have rainbows and sparkles shoot out of her ass, I just thought about the fact that most card games like this has stupid handicaps for the really strong cards (yes I was one of those incredibly geeky children who played Pokemon when I was a kid). The best one could be having a card that reads- Captain Jack Harkness has appeared as a foe! Gwen Cooper is too lovestruck to attack! or, Jack Harkness is not in the field, Gwen Cooper is too heartsick to attack! or something equally funny or ridiculous