If want I company I get brushed off ...” Just wondering if that first ‘I’ should be before the want in the sentence?
The dialogue and italicised sounds like THUD or Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. worked well; leaving it to the reader’s imagination as to what’s going on and how they picture it was awesome.
However, what I didn’t like was that there were these huge gaps between bits of dialogue and action – having a double space, like you did the first time you did it, would be good because then you’re not having the reader scroll down what feels like endless space. Honestly, I thought the story was finished when those huge gaps occurred.
Other than that, I liked the story because I could imagine what was going on using the dialogue and the sounds you used to punctuate certain points of the story.
no subject
Just wondering if that first ‘I’ should be before the want in the sentence?
The dialogue and italicised sounds like THUD or Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. worked well; leaving it to the reader’s imagination as to what’s going on and how they picture it was awesome.
However, what I didn’t like was that there were these huge gaps between bits of dialogue and action – having a double space, like you did the first time you did it, would be good because then you’re not having the reader scroll down what feels like endless space. Honestly, I thought the story was finished when those huge gaps occurred.
Other than that, I liked the story because I could imagine what was going on using the dialogue and the sounds you used to punctuate certain points of the story.