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John Barrowman, and Keith & Orville. Clearly.
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John Lennon Airport - so you can get away from here as quickly as possible.
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If I told you who the anonymous recipient was, they wouldn't be anonymous any more and the whole 'anonymous' part of the hypothetical recipient is therefore void.


Anyhoo, my anonymous recipient would be given the gift of coffee, chocolate, gas mask, a stun-gun, minor explosives and a hand-calligraphed note saying "Go show that fooker with the typewriter what you're made of!"
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Ianto Jones, because he deserved someone who was actually worth his time, unlike that crappy!Jack we saw in series 3. Y'know ... the one that was totally different in every single sense of the phrase 'different' from anything we've seen in previous series. The one also known as 'bastard!Jack'.

Ianto was sweet and lovely, passionate and mysterious. He was funny without trying, witty and intelligent and the calm, well-dressed gentleman all men and women wish they had.

He was also rather fit. Even when he turned blue (which was just insulting; everyone knows red was his colour!).

I'm not usually one for mixing up punctuation at the end of sentences to 'increase emphasis on the point', but I shall make this one exception:


WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??? HOW COULD RUSSELL T. DAVIES DO THAT TO THE POOR LITTLE LAMB???!!!!



SaveIantoJones.com is the last chance.

Save him, my padawans, minions and angry mobsters! Save him before Gwenwood comes and we're all bored to death!
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I will hunt down GDL.



And maybe apologise to Jebus. I was pretty hard on him, when really it was Constantine's fault.
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I believe the conversation would go something like this:


"Can I borrow your womb?"

"Sure. I'm not using it."



*shrugs* I can have kids and don't particularly plan on having them, so why not do my bit for the human race and for someone I love?

If you want my partner's sperm, however, it'll be £500 a jizz.

£700 if you're from overseas.

He's quality stock, an' you ent 'avin 'im cheap!
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Luxury hotel.



... I saw Torchwood.
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No.


Never.


OH MY GOD! If one more person says to me either "Gemini? We'd be totally compatible!" or "Ohhh so you're not a typical Gemini then ..." I may have to take out a book called Common Sense and how to use It (which I have yet to write) and whack them over the head with it until they realize that astrology and horoscopes is nothing but partonising, fabricated BOLLOCKS.



... and so's their dad.
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So, Macaulay ... what did you and Michael Jackson get up to?
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  • Fair do's - dunno why that one drives me insane, but it does ...


  • Some things just have to happen. - er ... what about in fiction? Do things 'have' to happen there? Let's ask Russell T. Davies ... (which moves me on to ....


  • I appreciate your concerns, but ... - Clearly, you don't.


  • Trust the writers, everything will be fine. - 'nuff said.
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A resounding "YES". I might not be able to explain everything scientifically, but eventually someone will.

I think there's an underlying arrogance in the assumption that human beings are here for a reason/get an afterlife etc etc etc. I think once you're dead, you're dead. *poof* gone.

If I'm wrong, I'll haunt Derren Brown and Richard Dawkins. And maybe watch Johnny Depp shower.
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I'll re-make the last two episodes of Torchwood: Children of Earth, obviously ....


I'll buy my mum a new Mini Cooper, my dad a cleaner, my little sister a trampoline and my older sister some common sense.


Any leftovers shall be spent on buying RTD a one-way trip to the sun charity.
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1. I've seen Prince Andrew
2. I have a "Mighty Book of Boosh" signed by all five cast members
3. I accept that Ianto Jones' death was necessary to the plot and that RTD was perfectly reasonable in killing him.




Muahahaha! You'll never guess the lie!
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My Torchwood: Children of Earth DVDs.


Maybe in 50 years they'll have some mode of value.
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It turns out Russell T. Davies does appreciate his fans and does acknowledge that he needs them to continue his career and what they think about his work is an important factor in the direction of a show - he also openly admits that maybe he's not as good a writer as Steven Moffat, and that he really was trying to 'do a Joss Whedon' with the whole Ianto thing.

Now that would be weird.
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Jack and Ianto







... duh
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I relate to Harry Potter. I iz lyk wel majick.




... and people stare at me in the street.

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